My friend has changed...(negatively)?

Question

One of my best friends and I have just moved from a "ghetto" school (if you will) to a new school recently built in the 'better' neighborhood where we live. However, she has picked up some bad habits from her friends at the old school, such as wearing tacky makeup (bright blue, purple, LIME GREEN?!), cussing alot, and eyeing boys. (We're only in 8th grade, mind you!)

Maybe I should get to the point then - she's starting to be rude towards me,,probably beacuse I'm not 'popular'. But what she doesn't know, is that we're in an academic focused school, and most of the kids( even the girlier ones) look down on her. What should I tell her? (Or do I leave her to learn the hard way?) This isn't who I want her to be!!!!!

Answer 1

Unfortunately who you want her to be is wishful thinking. I would leave her alone. It sounds to me that she probably won't listen to you if you try to help her anyways. I know it's hard when friends change, but people have to learn these kinds of things for themselves. The best thing you can do is try to be there for her, but don't let her bring you down either.

Good luck!

Answer 2

you should ask her if she wants to get good grades, if she wants to go to college, if she wants to make her parents proud. if she does, she needs to start thinking more about her education than looking trashy [no offense] . also tell her that if she thinks the boys are hot, shes not going to get them by putting on buckets of makeup or by eyeing them up. tell her he needs to subtly flirt, and that perhaps she could actually get a real boyfriensd from that, if thats what she wants. if she doesnt listen to you, dont bother.. itll kick her in the butt in the end, and then she'll learn. sorry if i sound mean.. but im just trying to help, you know? hope you help her change her ways. good luck(:

Answer 3

umm.. wow. ppl do change. thats how lyf iz:)

☆♥ liyaxox ♥☆

Answer 4

I'm really sorry to hear that. I go to an inner city school and a lot of the girls are exactly how you are describing your friend. She's just learning about who she is so you're probably just going to have to step back and let her learn the hard way. She probably wants to be this way, especially with all of the bad media these days. Just let her do her thing for now and when she realizes what shes doing, she'll probably come back to you (especially if everyone looks down on her). Just focus on other friends for now :). Hope i helped!

Answer 5

just leave her she sounds like a punk, she'll get what she deserves.

do well in school, and move on.

Answer 6

I think you should just let her be.  You can't change who she is and her personality just by asking her to.  If she figures it out, she might change for those reasons, but if she doesn't then just let her be.  Don't tell her about it because then she will get mad at you and it will start a fight.  Just be there for her.  

Answer 7

Moving to a new school can cause a sense of anomie! This can cause a feeling of misplacement...like you don't belong...

It sounds like your friend is using what she had in common with her old friends to try and find her place. If her old friends were like this than she will probably be highlighting and exagerating them hoping that she will find her niche in the new school as this person.

Maybe telling her that you feel a bit out of place too...try and identify with her and reassure her that she is great the way she is and will def get new friends and feel like she belongs if she is just herself...

Answer 8

let her be shes going through a phase when she realizes how she acts and how she dresses she will realize how mean shes been she'll snap out of it don't worry i've been through that i was the ghetto girl

Answer 9

Don't worry about how she looks or what she does in school. That's not your problem, that's hers. The only thing you need to worry about is you and if she hassles you, stand up for yourself.

She can s***w up her own life all she wants, but you concentrate on getting your education and doing better for yourself. Let her learn the hard way, she seems hard-headed anyway.

Answer 10

Why dont you introduce her to some other people, this way if you drop her so to speak she will have other friends. She seems rude. But thats where she came from, just simply tell her that she shouldnt be acting how she is if she wants to fit in...

Answer 11

OMG!! I have the exact same problem! She thinks you're not good enough because she thinks shes popular!

You should try talking to her. She might understand.

But if she doesn't, then she doesn't deserve you. She should move on. I'm sure theres a lot of people you can be friends with!

Good Luck! I know it's hard having a friend like that, but you have to get through by any means possible!

; >

Answer 12

Well, I hate to tell you sweetie you just need to stay away from her because if she's acting out for some reason.  Sometimes things happen like that.  I would say let her learn the hard way.  Just do what you have to do so that you so that you can get ready for highschool if she get left behind that on her.  

Answer 13

people change.

you have to ccept it.

peace.love.happiness.

Answer 14

She's going to do what she wants, regardless of what you say or do. People change as they get older. They grow. They need to experience new things. Always be kind to her, but let her follow her own direction. If you are always kind and let her be, then she'll know she can always count on you and things may come together in the end.

If she makes mistakes and comes back to you looking for true friendship, be there for her.

Answer 15

You're at an age where you're going to see a lot of your friends experimenting with their look and personalities, and you might not agree with what they're doing. People change, especially at this age- you've probably adjusted too. Makeup and boys is normal unless she's engaging in unsafe s*x. You should sit down with your friend and explain to her that you care and have noticed some unhealthy changes. What others think of her isn't the problem- its how she's viewing herself. She needs a good friend's perspective and she might need you to reassure her that she's smart, attractive and interesting without the lime eyeshadow and snippy attitude. Of course, sometimes you'll lose friends and if you two part ways, don't get too hung up on it. You'll make plenty of friends in the next few years and you should enjoy this time. You're very wise for focusing on your academics and not the trends in school- maybe your friend will realize that too once you talk with her. Good luck!

Answer 16

Your going to have to let her learn her own lesson here.  She will get nowhere in life if she keeps acting the way she does... trust me.  anything you say or do will just turn her completly aganist you.  Try making "better" new friends from your new school.  It's pretty obvious she isn't going to change soon and you can't keep gripping on to the hope that she will because she might not.  Over time sometimes you get closer to your friends or you start drifting away from them.  You might just be realizing that you have nothing in common with her anymore.  Hope this helps. :)  

Answer 17

You sound like a really nice friend and intelligent too!  Firstly I just want to say it's great that you're not being dragged down by those people and that you realise the importance of working really hard in school since the rest of your life will be affected by it.  

So your friend...

You could try gently talking to her about how she's changed and how you miss how things used to be between you, but realistically, once a person has started to change, they don't normally go back to how they once were.  She presumably likes what she's becoming because she's still doing those things and so be prepared for her to be annoyed if you raise the issue with her.  Maybe it's time to let go.  No reason why you can't still be on good terms with her but loads of people grow apart as they get older.  You'll both grow up into entirely different people than you are now because you're still quite young and haven't experienced everything that's out there yet.  A new school means loads more new friends, who you WILL have stuff in common with so make that your priority now.  

Answer 18

Looks like he has found some friends and he is better then you.  This could a phase or you can bring him back to reality that he is not better then u.  Good luck hope you can try to change him back.

Answer 19

tell her what you think and say she don't need to be popular  and if she says your just jealous say  I'm not I'm your Really your friend so I'm telling you the tariff  and if she walks away to her old Friends  just leave her .When people start telling her  shy came  running  back to you so that'ss your choice  then