My friend is 14 and shes pregnant.?

Question

She is 14, her boyfriend is 16. She plans to have the baby, shes not against it at all and doesn't see how she's messing up her life, not one bit.

I told her I didn't agree with it and how I thought it was wrong, she got mad at me and we haven't talked since, but my other friends are saying I should support her decision. They all seem to think a baby is a good idea for her.

Should I stop saying its wrong and start supporting my friend?..

I normally wouldn't ask this question I would usually just stand

by my friend but this is a BIG decision to stand by in my opinion.?

Answer 1

You can't make the decision for her. She has to do this on her own. If you think she isn't ready for this then you should say something and don't sound mean and just calmly say you think she shouldn't have this baby.

Answer 2

wow she is young..

Answer 3

Abortion is wrong, end of story.

Adoption is hard for the birth parents, I just gave my child up on the 25th due to my financial situation. It was really hard, but i know it was the right thing. If her family, AND the boyfriends family are okay with her keeping it, then support her. When I became pregnant, I was so afraid of my friends turning on me, and alot did. It hurts really bad when friends turn on you. Support her, she needs it. A girl at my school got pregnant at about 16, and graduated from high school with an Associates in Arts Degree, which is a 2 year college degree. Having a child with family support won't ruin her life. If neither family is willing to help, just encourage her to work out a budget. It doesn't work.

Best of luck to you, whether or not you support her decision, be there for her. She needs you, she really does.

Answer 4

Support ur friend, that doesn't mean u have to agree wit her decision. She'll always be ur friend and a baby shouldn't ruin it.. so, just support her decision because she's not affectin' ur life. She's goin' to see that a child isn't what she needs at this age. Everybody things it's a piece of cake until they actually get it.. it's not a game nor a toy. Babies cost a lot of money 'n take a lot of attention. I'm 21 yrs. old 'n have a old 'n a half yr. old son.. I'm old enough to have a child but my life was put on hold.. I couldn't enjoy my friends anymore, 'n now that I'm 21, I can't even celebrate that. Actually, I don't have ANY friends now... Thats why it's good to support her no matter what. Babies sometimes can change a person's life around, but it depends if that person really wants to change. I know I'm grateful I got my child or else I'd probably be in jail or on drugs.. who knows, maybe a child will help her, but at 14, a baby is never a good idea. Just remember for urself, ur not her, ur responsible 'n seems like u have a pretty good head on ur shoulders, maybe u'll learn something from her 'n u'll be one less sudistict. People make poor decisions. Make sure u make wise ones.

Answer 5

ok... first off it is her decision and no one elses so dont think that you can make it for her.

she going through a scary and confusing time right now and all she wants/needs is a little support. make sure she knows that ull love her no matter what and that ull always be there.

but if you want to try to change her decision do it with facts.

dont just tell her itll ruin her life, get real numbers

-how many teen mothers eventually drop out of school

-how many teen mothers commit suicide

-how much a baby will cost

-anything and everything like this

but id suggest her not getting an abortion. i dont beleive in it and i heard it has some long term risks. if she decides not to keep the baby she can put it up for adoption or into foster care and can get the baby back when she is old enough and emotionally/financially secure.

bottom line. give her support. give her facts. but most of all give her your love.

best of luck. hope everything turns out ok

Answer 6

Your right. Your friend is far too young to have and raise a baby. Her boyfriend won't be any help and her schooling will suffer. She'll probably end up being a drain on her parents or society in general.

Stick to your guns.  

Answer 7

a baby doesn't have to mess up anyone life. it's a baby. a lot of things can be accomplished still with a baby. she can go to school.  she should apply for WIC. She should also see what a local Charity has to offer her.  I know you don't agree with her decision but if this is the breaking point of your friendship. then move on. If it's not then just never mention her baby again or the fact you don't support her decision.

Answer 8

You can do not much about it. I hear this very often the girls in young age get pregnant. If you ask me here is my answer: When they are so stupid and not keeping their legs closed and taking any birth control  and sleeping with everybody, this is their responsibility and also mistakes their parents. They are not talking with their young age children. So don't worry, I know you get upset because now your friend is not talking to you, if she was a good friend this will be not happen.

Just say to your self, this is her life. Oh well!!!

Answer 9

right now she is going to need a lot of support you dont have to agree with her but you can support her

Answer 10

It's really too late to tell her that it's wrong because she's pregnant and she can't help it now.  Your other friends are right by saying that you should support her, because that's what she needs right now is support.  She'll probably get enough cold stares and such as it is.

Answer 11

just support your friend it her choice in the long run, even though you dont agree with her just be there for her.  

Answer 12

its not your life and ultimatly not your choice on what she does. being a friend of hers, yes you should support her.

Its not a big decision for you, so i dont see how you think it is...this is HER LIFE, HER baby.

If you dont want to stand by her side, then you are not much of a friend.

Answer 13

Goddamnit! She's 14! You know how hard it is to raise a baby at 14? What if her BF leaves her?

People wait until they are able to give a baby the best life they can possibly give it, not until they can "afford" a baby. Theres no way this baby will be able to have all of the luxeries it deserves, and its probably going to have a poor education, all because she is selfish.

And even if the baby turns out wonderful, that doesn't make her any less despicable.

Unless you would swim an ocean for her, I would no longer stand by here. She is risking a baby's future, she doesn't deserve any support from you.

Your choice, really, but that was my personal opinion.

Answer 14

You are her friend.  It is not YOUR situation.  It is her decision and she will have to live with the consequences.  I think the sign of a true friend is supporting them even when you don't agree with them.  Of course, if it is so morally wrong in your opinion, then you should not be friends with her.  It is your call on that subject.  

Answer 15

you should stand by her! if you were a true friend this wouldn't even be a question. She decided to have s*x and ended up pregnant and she is taking responsibility for her actions just because you think it is wrong doesn't mean anything it is her life and her child if she decides to keep it you have no right to get mad at her and tell her its the wrong decision because again it is her life not yours! and from this i'm guessing you are not a true friend and you really want her to re-consider because of the way it will affect you and your friend's relationship and how much you guys hang out and what she can and can't do. GROW UP!

Answer 16

i think you have every right to not agree with her, but I do think that as her friend you should stand by her decision. At 14 no matter who it is, it is not a good idea to be pregnant at 14. You should just support her decisions. She always has the option of adoption.

Answer 17

I believe you should stand by your decision. It doesn't matter if you're never friends again, because who needs friends like that? If she doesn't have enough intelligence to see why having a baby at her age is not a good decision, then I don't think the friendship is worth it. Later she'll be asking you for money to support it and to babysit. When I just think about how badly it could end up, I know it's not good to you. And as for others saying that you should support her and give her help, please, don't listen to them. It was her decision to have s*x and get pregnant, and none of the burden should fall on you.

Answer 18

You are right about the fact that it is a BIG decision, but it is not your decision.  You can offer your opinion and advice if she asks for it, but it doesnt mean that she has to take it.  If she were to get an abortion, it wouldnt affect you at all...she is the one that has to live with her decision not you, whether it be to keep the baby or to terminate the pregnancy.  Support your friend, she is gonna need it.

Answer 19

Well if she wants a baby then she is qonna qo thoruqh pain &nd she needs 2 do alot of thinqs 4 tha baby but say whut yhu feel dont be fake.......

Answer 20

this is not your baby to have/support. it is ultimately HER choice.

you can only do so much -- it is up to her to either regard or disregard your advice.

all you can do is be supportive of her decision.