My friend is acting weird and its freaking me out. :o?

Question

went to my best friend's party with my gf and and my friend introduced his friend to me. He was about my age and we became friends under 15 min. He then started to to flirt with me while my gf was somewhere else. We were hanging out all night and he touches my hand playfully and winks at me every time. I quickly moved my hand away and went to the movie area and sat on the couch with my gf. He came and we chat and this time he was rubbing my knee playfully and he even tries to cuddle with me. I gently pushed him away and continued with the movie. I was cool with him and so was my gf. Later my gf was saying "he was hitting on you all night, do you think hes g*y?"

I am now best friends with that guy and we hang out sometimes but i am freaked out, i want to tell him to stop but afraid it would hurt his feelings. What should I do?

Answer 1

lolz.just tell him to stop..he's maybe just fooling around.

Answer 2

Note: This response is based on the original form of the question, but should still have some good points.

*****

Well I am g*y, and why didn't this happen to me in high school? lol

Okay, a guy as open-minded as you doesn't need to get freaked out.

Yeah, clearly he is bi or g*y, and he thinks you are awesome. He's right about that, of course.

Granted, human affection can get complicated.

I think everyone needs touch; it is healthy. It's cool that he is affectionate. At the same time, since you are pretty cool and not hung up, he was wondering if maybe you might also be a lil' bit g*y and maybe into him.

So, forgive him if he is hoping and yearning for romance, but it is just not your flavor. You might tell him that gently next time you see him -- but then hug him or something so he knows you are not offended by him. Because he took a risk being so open with you.

But I am wondering, what is making you freak out?

It should not make you freak out that he thinks you are handsome and nice.

On the other hand, if you rather liked it, are you perhaps freaked out because you are wondering about your own feelings? Well, just understand that if you enjoyed the attention, it could have been on a friendly, human level...and maybe you could use an affectionate friend in your life, and that is okay. Also understand that if (in another scenario) you realize that guys give you energy, make your heart beat and look good to you, well, examine your own identity without fear.

According to your own belief system, I gather reincarnation is likely, in which case either he or you might have been girls at some point, so either him or you having some such attraction should not seem strange.

Anyway, no, he is not perfectly straight by any means.

P.S. Based on your second version of the question, I gather you are probably comfortably straight?  If that is so, this just is an issue of clarity and boundary setting.  Seriously, if you tell him it kinda seemed like he was trying to be romantic, and that you like him very much but just don't feel romantic towards him, and that you want him to know that because you don't want him to get let down or get a broken heart, he should accept that.  It's okay to say let others know what our comfort zone is.

Answer 3

Yeah, it sounds like  your girlfriend was right. You have to tell him that you like hanging out with him but are not into all the touching, you prefer to leave that to your girlfriend. That should give him a clear message as to your sexual orientation without saying anything which may insult him outright. The rest is up to him. Friends are choices we make and it has to be comfortable for both, it has to be reciprocal. Otherwise, it's about one person taking advantage of another. If he gets insulted anyway and can't keep his  hands to  himself, you have to find a new BFF, someone who can respect your wishes.