My friend is giving up one of her twins?

Question

She is keeping the girl getting rid of the boy is this legal. All I know is that it is wrong there is no use of me convincing her. Also she wants the hospital to put single birth one his birth certificate or tell him she died . She does not want him to find her. She will tell her daughter she had a brother who died at birth

Answer 1

Please try to convince to her thatthis is notfair andshe should takecare of both kids this isverysad.

Answer 2

WOW THAT SAD . SHE SHOULDN'T DO THAT. DOES SHE HAS ANY RELATIVE THAT CAN KEEP THE BOY AND HELP HER OUT UNTIL SHE MAKES UP HER MIND JUST SO THAT THE BABIES CAN GROW TOGETHER. d**n....  

Answer 3

That is awful. Twins shouldn't be split up if they don't have too! She needs to get a grip and do what is best for her babies! That really pisses me off. I would slap her if I could.

Answer 4

is she does it i hope she burns in h**l dat is ******* cruel she doesnt deserve them both if dats da case

Answer 5

It sounds like she has made her mind up, would she go through some sort of counselling before giving a child up for adoption? I think thats what would happen here in the UK.

I'm a twin, I have an identical twin sister - the relationship between twins is often very unique , no one, not even the mother should have the right to separate twins, if she dosn't want one she shouldn't have the other, and they should be adopted as a pair.

Also if she does what she says she's going to do and tells her child that her brother died at birth, she begins her relationship with her daughter with deceit and lies this can only lead to heartache and pain It's very common for twins to find each other as often separated twins know there is something missing in their lives.

I hope your friend thinks the implications through and changes her mind.  

Answer 6

okay, i am not even going to get into the "why would she only want to keep one of them" thing or the moral issue of lying to her daughter about having a brother. there is NO WAY that the hospital is going to lie on the birth certificate. it will definitely show a multiple birth.

don't give up trying to convince her it's wrong-not wrong to keep only one twin, but wrong to lie about what happened to the boy. i don't know her mental status or financial issues, but it is so obviously wrong to lie.

Answer 7

thats terrible. i dont think the hospital can change the certificate wouldnt that be fraud?

Answer 8

please talk to her and tell her that it is not right to do that the twins did not ask to be concieved and then to be born without one another its wrong to do that kind of thing if she is wanting to give up the boy and keep the girl she might as well give both of them up or keep both shes not making their lives fair please convince her to keep both they deserve ech other

Answer 9

I highly doubt it would be legal for the birth certificate to say single birth as it is a legal document and must be true and accurate.  

Let's hope that the hospital system and adoption process give counselling to your friend.  As wrong as I think it is to separate them, if she won't be capable of loving and nurturing a son maybe he would be better off somewhere else.  

She shouldn't start their lives with lies though if she wants to make such a decision she should be brave enough to be honest.

Where I live a mother spends up to a week with the baby in the hospital to ensure she is making the right decision to give him/her up for adoption.  You never know she might surprise herself by falling absolutely in love with him.

Answer 10

Ya u cant even adopt children who have other siblings, seperatley. it just isnt right to split em up. if they take one of the twins away they will for sure find a reason to take the other.

Answer 11

Wow, As a parent of twins I could never do that to my children , separate kids is not a good idea, i really hope she has though about this very well and long, in the long run they could both hate her for it if they find out, but it is her choice , she has to live with it, may we have more info like why? cant afford to raise both etc.

Answer 12

I see everyone is saying that the birth certificate won't say that there i just one child-- I'm not sure, though.  When you get adopted, you get a new birth certificate with your adoptive parents listed as your parents... They might change the little girls' as well.

I'd be interested to find out why she wants to do this.  Does she feel ill-equipped to care for two kids?  Perhaps she could get some extra support to care for both kids, so she can decide later whether she can take care of two, or one, or none.  I can't imagine giving a baby up-- can't even imagine.  I also can't imagine lying to my child about a sibling.  

I think it's legal, but it seems incredibly sad.  However, if she doesn't want the boy, he's probably better of with parents who want him totally.  That poor girl, though.

Answer 13

That's terrible!  Child Protection Services should get both her twins...

Answer 14

WOW, I could never choose one child over another.  Even though it is legal for her to keep one and put the other up for adoption it is not legal for the hospital to falsify records like that, she can ask the adoption agency to seal the records but nowadays that is becoming less of an option due to all the medical conditions, the adoptive parents and the adopted child should have access to family medical histories. What about the father she has to have his consent to put the baby up for adoption? What  happens when her daughter finds out her mother lied to her, she will hate her.  If you can't convince her to keep both at least try to convince her not to lie to the one that she keeps about the other one, she doesn't have to say "I only wanted a girl", she could tell her that she could only take care of one baby when she had her.  

Answer 15

THATS HORIBBLE!

It always upsets me when i see something like this

try to convince her not to

and if you can't try to keep in touch with the boy

when the 2 kids are both old enough let them know they

have another brother/sister

i really dont know what to say i'm 15

so i really dont know

you now if she gets rid of the boy maybe that would be good too

because maybe she wouldnt like the boy

and she would probably mistreat him

idk ur friiend but you never know these days

Answer 16

I don't know if the hospital can change the info like that.  but yes, it's legal for her to adopt out on of her twins.

Brit!!  That did happen (in real life!).  I don't have the page bookmarked anymore but you can google >'twins reunited at the alter'.  or something.

here it is - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7182817.st...

Answer 17

whhat the h**l is wrong with her. that is screwed up. what does she hate men or something?

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thats in every and any way so WRONG of a mother to do that. I think if your gonna have the kid, you should take care of it too!! not only that but she and the doctors and whoever takes the boy in will be lying to him, which isnt exactly the best example.

& another thing, where the h**l is the father??? Doesnt he get a say in all this. Or does he just not give a d**n about his son?

Answer 18

That is sad. Im sorry your friend feels she has to do that twins should stay together

Answer 19

OMG!!!! that is awful. How can she choose one over the other. and how can she lie about it her whole life. I think adoption is wonderful but her daughter will always feel like something is missing in her life.  

Answer 20

Whether it's legal or not, that's cruel.  It does sound illegal, though.

What if they were to find each other later on in life, fell in love, or something weird like that?  I watch a lot of Law and Order, as you can tell, lol.  It's something to think about.  Is your friend in her right mind?  It doesn't sound like it.

It just sounds wrong, that's all.