My friend is pregnant and want me to adopt the baby. Does anyone know the process we must go through for this?

Question

also how much an indepdent adoption costs?

Answer 1

1. You need to meet with an adoption lawyer who specializes in open adoption.

2. You friend needs to meet with a social worker to start weighing her options.

3.  You both need counseling to understand the realities of open adoption so that this meets the needs of all involved and doesn't make the adoption loss worse than it already has to be.

In the sources I'll put some rather good links of food for thought.

Answer 2

find an attorney that specializes in adoptions.  i know this is your friend, but you must protect yourself and that child.  if you both live in the same state the attorney should be able to let you know the laws regarding independent adoption in your state.  some states will allow you both to have the same attorney, some will mandate she either is offered her own counsel or must have her own representation.  either way, the cost should be relatively low.  average legal costs in most states range from 3k-7k depending on the laws in your state.  this is money well spent, when a child is involved you cannot just trust your friendship.  i think it's a very wonderful and brave thing your friend is doing, and my best to you and your partner in adding a new addition to your family!

Answer 3

We did an independent adoption.  First, the best thing I can suggest is to contact a local adoption attorney who is familiar with adoption laws - both in your state and the state the child is going to be born in (if different).  This is extremely important as the US has special rules for bring a baby across state lines.  

Because our child was born in NJ and we live in PA, we had to find an attorney to process the proper paperwork.  However, since our child had special needs, and we learned that NJ state had become involved with his care, our adoption attorney suggested that we contact a local adoption agency who was licensed in both states to conduct an "independent adoption".  It did cost us a bit more than a private adoption, but we would have had to have an agency do a home study, etc., even with the attorney.  We felt it was in our best interest to use the agency to insure that we were doing everything correctly and would not face a reversal of the adoption later.  

Our adoption - including all agency fees - cost us about $12,000.  However, if you use an attorney, rather than an adoption agency, it could be much cheaper.  Also remember that once the adoption is finalized, you will qualify for a $10,000 tax credit on your income taxes.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Were you thinking about adopting a baby, or is she asking you to do this as a favor?  You don't mention your ages.

I would strongly advise you to consult an attorney about the legal rights and entanglements that could arise from such a situation, as well as advise you to give serious thought to how you'd feel being permanently "attached" to your friend through this child.  How involved does she want to be in the baby's life?

You need to have definite boundaries, legally structured before even seriously considering this arrangement.

Answer 5

Find a local adoption attorney - since the two of you know each other, costs should be relatively low ( still may be a few thousand).  Also, you must consider who will cover the pregnancy/birth expenses.  Sometimes, adoptive parents do this.  Think twice though - how will you feel having your child's 'mother' in your life forever?  Will you get to be 100% Mom, or a glorified babysitter so your friend doesn't have to be responsible?

Answer 6

You must go through a licensed agency, or hire an attorney to seek to have the parental rights terminated, for both the birthmother AND birthfather in order to adopt the baby.  There are specific procedures to follow for the father's rights -- voluntary waiver, citation by publication, and/or having him served with papers.  The birthmother can sign her relinquishment usually 24-48 hours after birth, depending on the state she lives in .  This takes time.  But once accomplished, then and only then can the baby be adopted.  Once the termination hearings are held, then you can petition for the adoption after the child has lived with you for at least six months (in most states.)  Termination hearings et al may run $700-$1500+, and the same for the Finalization hearing, which makes the adoption legal and final.

Answer 7

Some states require agency involvement, others allow attorneys to process private adoptions. Either way you will need a homestudy, so you may want to start that as it can take some time (you can usually find agencies with homestudy-only programs or private social workers...again depends on the state) I would call an adoption attorney ASAP to find out your state's requirements and get the ball rolling.

I suggest you encourage her to get her own attorney and find a counselor. Even if not required by the state, IMO she needs her own representation and objective counseling.

It need not cost much, we did an independent interstate adoption, three attorneys, and it still cost less than 1/3 of most agencies.

Answer 8

Call an attorney who specializes in adoption to g*y parents. Good luck.

Answer 9

Well when I gave my son up we went trough and adoption lawyer - and the couple who adopted him were even there at the hospital when I had him...  Good luck!! and God bless