My friend lets her daughters ages 2 and 4 go to bed at 11pm every night.?

Question

She thinks it's just fine, but she has to have them up at 7 in the morning to get them to daycare. I do not think it is appropriate for a baby beyond 1 years old to be staying up that late. Should I say something to her?

Answer 1

I do not agree i think all children under 5 should be in bed and asleep before 8pm as they need 12 hrs sleep not 8 or 10. But you should never tell another mother to her face that she is doing the wrong thing for her children.  They might be having 2-3 hrs sleep at daycare but they won't be able to do that when they start school full time...then things will start to suffer they won't be able to concentrate and will be falling asleep during lessons does she want this to happen??

Answer 2

My daughter sleeps about 2-3 hours at school, your friends daycare probably does the same thing.  That's a total of at least 10 hours of sleep for my daughter.  Your friends kids are probably getting enough sleep, try not to worry.

(I don't really even get my daughter ready for bed until 9:30, then she's normally asleep by 10:30.)

Sorry I change my answer, if the kids are running her life you should suggest that she get control now before they are teenagers.  If you're good friends she will probably value your opinion.

Answer 3

depending on the night my daughter wont go to sleep untill 11 even when shes laying down at 930 and i get her up at 630 and shes fine. i think its every parents choose how to rais their children. that time may not work for u but some kids are diffferent. and if they are getting up that early and still arent tired enough to go to sleep earlier, then thats just how their bodies work. if she asks for ur help offer it, it can get frustrating to have ur kids not want to go to sleep till u do, but if she seems fine with it then leave her alone about how shes raising her children. i know ur trying to help, but it may not come off that way if you just say how u feel about it. being a single mom is hard and if u come off as accusing then it may hurt her feelings or make her feel like she not doing good enough. i wouldnt say anything until she asks u.

Answer 4

If you don't have any kids yourself, then she probably won't want to hear any advice from you.

However, if you do have kids, then it would be easier to talk about that. Though, I don't know if I would say anything.

My brother does the same exact thing with his three kids. He says it is because he doesn't see them during the day and wants to enjoy them. My advice not only went in one ear and out the other, but he took it the wrong way. He took my advice as me saying that he is kind of a bad dad and since I am such a great mom, he should listen to me. I meant well, but it completely backfired.

I learned my lesson - keep to parenting my own child and let everyone else parent theirs.

Answer 5

I agree that it's not really your business and that you should tread lightly (unless you are really close...only you know how she would take "suggestions")

But I also agree that it's not a very wise thing to do on her part. I highly doubt that they are sleeping that long at day care. How many 4 year olds are still taking naps and how many can truly fall asleep with other kids in the room in the middle of the day? They may be "resting" but that's not the same as sleeping.

I have a 3 year old that has given up naps for the most part. If she doesn't have a nap she's in bed by 7 (not always asleep that early though). She gets up between 6:30 and 7am every day no matter what time she gets to sleep, so I've got to make sure she's in that bed for close to 12 hours, because at her age she needs more than 10 hours of sleep...more like 12.

I'd be curious how her children behave for her after day care. I imagine they are not very pleasant little creatures to be around without the proper amount of sleep.

Answer 6

You could, But put it nicely! you don't want her thinking that you are thinking she isn't parenting right cause that could cause conflict! good luck!

Answer 7

it is really not your business.  I mean if she asks your opinion then of course give it to her.  But as long as the kids are cared for and not neglected or abused then it is really not our place.   It is not something I would do, but then again I am not a single mom.

Answer 8

Don't say anything.  I have a friend the same way.  From since her child was a toddler, she would go to bed at 11 p.m. and wake up early.  This didn't bother the child in any way and got enough sleep (wasn't cranky, etc.).  It could be that her children are ok with it.  Some kids don't need alot of sleep.

Answer 9

My 20 month old daughter goes to bed at 11 every night, the same time as my husband and myself.  He works 12 - 14 hours a day and it's the only time a day she gets to see her Daddy.  Of course she doesn't get up at 7 am though, more like 9 or 10 when she wakes up.  We then go about our day like most normal families and have meals, just a little later than everyone else.  I do think that your friend should put them to bed a little earlier if they have to get up at 7 am because 8 hours is not enough for a child of 2 or 4.  They need about 10 hours of sleep for their growing bodies and alertness.  I would make a comment to her or ask her why she does this.  There may be a reason.

Answer 10

Sometimes children are stubborn like my 1 and 1/2 year old. He would goto bed aroud 11pm also, but he would always wake up at 6:15 and he wouldn't be cranky or grouchy or ne thng of the sort. Now that he has started school 2 weeks ago he has to be in the bed no later than 9pm. It wasn't that big of a deal to me until he started school, now I am refering to the 2 year old and not the 4 year old. At 4 I believe a child should be in some type of educational learning program to help develop their brains. My son eats dinner, then takes his bath around 8pm and once I get him out and lotion him up, he's out like a light. I would suggest if the children are in school, then yes there needs to be a mandatory bed time!!!

Answer 11

My daughter is 2 and goes to bed between 7:00pm- 8:30pm but she also doesn't take naps during the day.  I think that is way too late for kids to be up.  Rest is very important.

Answer 12

I know someone who does the same thing with their 2 year old...except she stays up WAY later sometimes...it's not right, but I don't say anything...

The way I look at it, is that if they want to have a crabby kid (or kids) who give them a hard time at bedtime and are not on any sort of schedule, then that is for them to deal with.

I know it's frustrating to sit back and watch, but I saying something I doubt would do anything...if the kids control the parents in those ways it's very hard to change unless they make a huge committment to changing their kids.

Answer 13

vvell its her choice to keep her kids up that late so I vvouldnt. But I dont understand vvhy people think they should keep there kids up that late! I love it vvhen my kids go to bed at 830, it gives me the rest of the evening to myself...its MY quiet time!

Answer 14

I would...kids need at least 8 hours of sleep. If she cares about their health then she will put them to bed sooner.

Answer 15

I know how u feel my boyfriend let his baby 3yr stay up til 1:00 an 2:00 watching tv. When i'm sleep an realize its on i get up an turn it off an she be WIDE awoke cryin talking bout she scared i tell her girl take ur behind to sleep its to late.An he never know cause he be knock out dont know whats going on that why stuff always happening to smaller kids no one is watching them