My friend lies a lot and doesn't handle her own problems... ?

Question

My friend (let's call her Dana) has been lying to me a lot and when I confront her, her mom handles it, or I handle it by doing most of the talking. This time when Dana lied to me, I finally got fed up and told her to handle it herself. Well everything was going ok, she said she doesn't know why she lies. I said "I don't know if I can trust you because you lie so much so I don't know if I should just forgive you so quickly. I'm going to bed."

Well the next day, she asked her friend to talk to my other friend (who is also involved in this.. let's call him Josh) and Josh told her to handle her problems and stop involving people because it's so pointless and doesn't help. Then Dana said Josh betrayed her because he hung out with me that day and didn't invite her (because we're (josh and i) are both in a fight with her). Dana also said "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DOESNT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS BECAUSE ELISE (me) HANDLES YOUR PROBLEMS FOR YOU BY TALKING TO ME" but I wasn't talking to her for him, he was just being truthful with her.

Well now, she took me and josh off her facebook friends and she blocked us on AIM. I think she expects us to call her and apologize, but neither of us will do that.

Do you think I should just wait and see what happens? I was close friends with her but the lying got too much and I didn't want her mom to handle her probs for her. I was going to forgive her, but she blocked me and everything and I'm not going to forgive her. So I'm guessing she doesn't want to be friends with me or josh anymore. That's her own choice, and it's ok. She just never even gave me the chance to forgive her and she got all her facts wrong.

What do you think I should do?

(SORRY this is so long and sorry if it doesn't make complete sense. typical teen drama i guess. :/ )

Answer 1

Ok well i don't think that u or "josh" should apologize to her. how can u be friends with someone that u cant trust? and if she will just blow u off like that then it shows how much she cares about ur friendship. also, if she depends on other people to solve her problems then u will end up solving her problems too and it will become too stressful. lastly, why would she lie to u if u are/were good friends there is not reason to lie constantly.  

Answer 2

Whew.....Dana  sounds like a person that has issues and its causing drama.  I hate to say it but you're better off without a friend like this.  She will only complicate her life and the lives of every one around her.  She seems to have made a clean break from you.  If I were you I'd keep it that way.  Good Luck.

Answer 3

Dana will get tired of being by herself and will eventually come back your way for another round. She will continue to alienate one group of friends after another. The fact that she consistently twists everything around is another indicator. You can't trust a liar or a drama-queen.

I don't think you should allow her back into your circle until she has grown up considerably. Don't hold your breath. The only cure is complete separation.

Actually, someone really needs to talk to her mom about her... by taking up and covering for Dana, her mother is encouraging this behavior. What happens when the stakes are higher? She needs to get real and really address the issues here.

At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?

As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with.

Answer 4

This all sounds really complicated to me but i understand that your friend is lying to you. If she cared about you she wouldn't lie so she's not a good friend. Get her out of your life.

Answer 5

if she doesnt wanna be your friend **** her..and u said ur ok with it..so y does it matter? and if shes such a hassle y would u wanna put up with her ne more ne way