My friend went to university and is having a rough time...?

Question

so my friend is gone to university, and we talk all the time, and yeah i miss her, but she seems so depressed! she says she doesn't like her suitemate, and that when she goes out to partys other people are always in the spotlight. i KNOW that she is an amazing person and that people would love her as much as i do if they'd just give her a chance, if i could just get her to gather the courage to put herself out there..

what can i do to help her?

and what can i tell her to do to meet new people?

did any of you go through this? if so, what did you do?

thanks soo much..

from a worried friend.. :(

Answer 1

It takes a while to get to know people - no one makes friends instantly.  Her high school friends are people she has known for years, while those she has met at college are just new acquaintances at this point.  She needs to give it some time.  Don't feed her homesickness.  I know a lot of people who started out this way and within a few months or a year would not dream of going anywhere else.  

As to other people being in the spotlight at parties, of course they are.  She is just a freshman.  Remember what that was like in high school?  You are kind of at the bottom of the totem pole, and it takes a while to get better known, even if you want that kind of attention.

Answer 2

University life is much different than high school and there are a lot more pressure that is put upon you.

There is not much you can do to help her and she needs to work through this herself. Since it is from a friend's perspective and not her perspective it is difficult to suggest solutions. It sounds as though she may be too hard on herself or it could be that she is in the wrong school Also university is not about being popular, partying, or being well liked it is about doing good enough to get a good job after graduation. So it could be she has her priorities wrong.

Best advice I can give is to listen to her and help her work through the issues. She is the only one that can solve her problem.

Answer 3

everthing in rough at fist but after a while things will fall into place.