My friends 5 year old just started kindergarten last week....?

Question

Last week school started and my friends daughter started kindergarten. She cried everyday when she took her, and she cried every night before bed, saying that she didn't want to go. Well this morning she took her to school and she started crying and hanging on to her screaming. It took two teachers to pry her off. Now that you know the problem let me give you some information on them. My friend has always been the type of parent that Never disciplines her daughter. She will spend 45 minutes lecturing her. Also if she tells her that she is going to put her in time out, spank ,or take toys away she never follows through. So now her daughter doesn't want to go to school and doesn't think she should have to. What can my friend do?

Answer 1

PJ is really a p**s ant, just because the little girl obviously has some emotional issues with this & lack of parenting judgement does NOT make her a spoiled little brat.  GET A CLUE.

Anyways, it breaks my heart to hear how this is affecting the child, I would suggest the mom see if she can spend a day with the child at the school, that might make the child more at ease...

Answer 2

Is that the problem?? The daughter is just voicing that she doesn't want to go cause she just doesn't want to, or is there another problem. I would recommend that your friend talk to her daughter and really listen to her and look for any clues as to what the problem really is. If its a control issue then it will get fixed eventually as long as she keeps bringing her to school.

Answer 3

This is common in kindergarten. Maybe she should start a reward system.Get a chart and put the days of the week across. Each day that she goes to school with no problems put a star and at the end of the week she gets a reward.After a few weeks change the behavior that needs to be changed.She should start implementing consequences for her behaviors too.

Answer 4

She has created quite a mess for herself.  She doesn't have any choice but to send the spoiled little brat to school.  She has made it harder for her child since the kid has never heard no in her life.  The kid has to go to school, so your friend has no choice but to make her go.  She has created her own problem with her lousy parenting skills.

Answer 5

I really wouldn't worry. This sounds totally normal, especially if she has not been to daycare, or other group settings without mom.

Some kids have a harder time than others, it takes the time it takes.

The teachers should be used to this in the first weeks.  

Answer 6

Inconsistent discipline certainly is never a good idea, but separation anxiety at the start of kindergarten is very common and not necessarily because of bad parenting.  Many kids with this issue do better if someone else drops them off at school -- the other parent, a grandparent or babysitter, a friend's parent (carpool ... your friend could do the pick-up run), or on the bus.  Or drop her off at the school door rather than the classroom door, and let her walk into the classroom with a friend.

She can also make school a somewhat more attractive option by arranging some playdates with her daughter's classmates.  It's easier to separate from mom when you're going to be with good friends.

Answer 7

Stand her ground. Your friend has no choice, her daughter needs to go to school.  All she can do is continue to bring her every morning to school.  It's  a shame that a teacher has to deal with a child who's parents are to blame for her behavior problems, but that's part of the profession.  Hopefully, she'll get over it when she realizes that her mom isn't giving in and she has to go to school.