My friends kids are a little "rowdie"...?

Question

We get together often, at both of our houses, but her kids are more "rowdie", if ya know what I mean. They are loud and a little more "careless" with toys. We keep "special" or more expensive toys behind closed doors, so that's not even the issue. They get crazy and slightly destructive w/any toys; not necesarily broken, but all peices are pulled apart, then tossed to the side. Needless to say, my house gets trashed quickly, and I find it a little stressful. Even though they help clean up, sometimes I am not in the mood for this and would just rather play at her place. They are not toddlers so I find it rather annoying. If at all possible, we play outside, but if it's too hot or too cold out, we are housebound. Any ideas on how to politely ask that we play at her place (when I just don't feel like having my house trashed)? By the way, she is a great parent, her kids are just a little more high strung than mine.

Answer 1

While it is understandable that you do not want to deal with "rowdie" children there is no polite way to ask your friend to have the kids play dates exclusively at her house during indoor play.  Instead try to modify their behavior while they are with you. Choose play time activities that do not promote wild and loud behavior. Here are some suggestions:  Limit the children to one room?   Provide toys and games that are easy to clean or playable. Coloring with water colors. Sculpy clay projects, etch-a - sketch, Shrinky dinks, twister, charades, I hate to even suggest video games. Even expand the room limit to two and play hide -n- seek, or hot and cold. Hot and cold -hide an object and the kids have to find it. Winner gets a quarter.  Offer rewards to the kids for who plays the nicest and quietest. Give sticker points to children every hour or so, it becomes a contest. Winner gets a (brownie? or what ever else you decide.) Good luck

Answer 2

My children are very much like the rowdie kids your describing. they don't misbehave but they are a little more loud and rough then most children. My advice is to just say it. "I don't feel like having kids over today could we play at your home instead?" I actually prefer when friends bring their children to my home versus going elsewhere. Its far less stressful for me. I don't have to worry about my children accidentally breaking someone Else's property and my children can be more relaxed. Its isn't offensive to mention it to your friend.

Answer 3

i'll come to you, so that a kid can sleep in the car on the way over

we've got to do this job (eg shopping), not sure when we will finish. we'll call in on the way back, save you waiting for us.

daddy is working on the computer and has kicked us out so he can get some peace for a bit.

my kids would really like to play with a particular toy of yours

Answer 4

Well you can try saying if they're good they get a star and if they get a star they get like a little treat 2 stars a bigger treat and they might listen. Tell them they have to be good for the day to get the star and listen.;)

Then how old are they tell them if they keep the house clean they can bring friends over.

Answer 5

ther is only 2 ways. set rules. big on a piece of paper on the fridge. if you are as close as it seems you are with the parents, then they will probably laugh, and say "you heard her guys!!"  no disassembling or throwing toys. no wrestling on the furniture or in the house, take it outside!! (winter time, if your in the mood, move a space and "give" them the permission to do it. knowing most kids, that are contrary, they will choose to do something else.) when you know they are coming, have your kids put thier toys in the bedroom and shut the door. keep the dissassembled toys that they tore up in an area and say" there is what is left from last time, if you want to play with them you better put it together!" that will probably nip that. because everytime they try to do it again, you can say "remember what we had to do last time?? "i have been through this.you need to be assertive. if it makes you "angry", then you need to tell them straight out. if you continue to tear up the toys, you will not play with them. if you are in the mood, and this kids are close and special to you, teach them. otherwise you will stress out constant;y over this, and it WILL affect your relationship with the parents, because it will come out in your attitude. i have been there. i did the above things, and it took about 3 visits, and they are about 50% different now, than before. and their mom has said, that my house is the only place they don't go wild!!!

Answer 6

I agree with Kit Kat.  I prefer to have people over as opposed to bring my barbarian children to other civilized houses.  I don't think I'd mind at all if someone asked me to play at ours, and I've asked them if they don't mind comin to me because it's easier for everyone involved.  She probably won't be offended, especially if you tell her that it's not her kids or her parenting, it's just that you're, I don't know, picky or something.  Or you can cop out and tell her that your house is messy or paint is drying or a variety of excuses.