My friends lieing about being vegan?

Question

My friends been vegan for 6 months now, but hasn't told her parents. Her parents just think she's been swamped with homework and give her dinner in her room. they know shes vegetarian so they occasionally give her vegan friendly stuff by accident. She skipping meals because our school doesn't offer enough vegan options and her parents would get suspicious of her packing her own lunch. She also usually throws away her lunch and an average eats an few fruits each day. I'm worried about her health and have attempted to talk to her about it a few times. I myself am vegan so i don't have a problem with her being vegan, i just don't want her to get sick

Answer 1

That's not normal behavior - she's telling you she is vegan because it's an easy way for her to cop out of eating food with her family and friends without drawing attention to herself. She's not vegan though, she probably has a serious eating disorder. Anyone that goes for days without eating more than a fruit or two and isn't motivated by their hunger to the point of asking their parents to buy food for them is very sick, and not vegan in the least.

Also, I have a hard time believing that there's nothing vegan for her to eat at home or at school. Unless her parents and your school don't buy any fruits, vegetables, rice, oatmeal, cereals, grains, beans (and only make dairy, eggs and meat, I guess?) I really can't see how that is possible.

Another hint that she is hiding an eating disorder - there's nothing to hide or conceal or be secretive about if one is vegan. It's only in hiding an eating disorder that someone becomes weird and ferrets food away or throws it out or otherwise finds excuses not to eat it. Speaking as someone that went vegetarian at 13, and now as an adult and a mother to a beautiful little girl, I would rather have my daughter go back to eating meat a thousand times over having her starve herself because she'd be scared I didn't approve of her diet. Unless her parents are seriously messed up, there's no reason for her to be so secretive. Mothers want their kids healthy, not hungry.

"Her parents would get suspicious of her packing her own lunch" - is that what she told you? I mean, what kind of people are they that they would prefer their daughter to pack a lunch that consisted of a gigantic hunk of meat and a slab of cheese, but they'd be suspicious and concerned if she made herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and brought fruit and carrot sticks to school? I think she's more or less fabricating as many lies as she can to keep the ruse going. It's time to tell her parents what's going on and stress that she's probably got an eating disorder because that's not normal behavior, period. Someone that is healthy but vegan wouldn't starve days on end for no reason.

Edit:

It's not wrong, don't worry. If you intervene early enough, it'll save her life, because eating disorders are pretty much about brain-washing oneself into very unhealthy responses to food and hunger/emotion cues... the farther she goes into it, the harder it'll be to pull her back out. She might not thank you right away for it - but it's worth trying. Maybe try to talk to her one last time, and don't let her butt her way out of it - ask her flat out what she's trying to accomplish and why she won't talk to her parents about it. If you get the same double-talk from her, it's time to go to her parents. Even if the worst thing happens and she gets really angry with you, it's still better than to let her starve herself to death. You're doing this because you care about her, and she might be too sick to realize it now, but one day she will.

Answer 2

Firstly, i wouldn't take advice from anyone who can't spell Embarassed

Maggie is 100% right on this. People will make many convoluted excuses once they are in what really is a mental illness. They become masters at covering up and explaining away all thier unusual traits

Please don't be put off by the fact that she may hate you for a while.

Wouldn't you rather have her alive and not talking to you, than dead ?

Answer 3

i agree with maggie.  especially if her parents know she is vegetarian, why then would she have a problem telling them she's vegan???  that just doesn't make sense.  i would tell your parents.  your friend shouldn't get mad, but if she does intially, she'll get over it if she's a good friend.  and if she doesn't, her life is more important.

Answer 4

she should just tell her parents so that they can buy things she will eat. i would be worried too if i were you. you have to make sure and get essential nutrients when you are a vegan...

Answer 5

its good that you care about your friend

convince her that she needs to tell her parents and if she doesnt then you will,

but as for your question about her lying, it is quite possible. she knows that you are a vegan and she wants to be one like you. she probably cant give up meat but wants to be like you. im a vegetarian and ahve had a friend who pretended to be a vegetarian

Answer 6

Good, she should be embaraced.