My g/f and I are getting serious , she has a son(12 months) from a previous marriage....how do I adopt him?

Question

We are getting serious she has been my best friend for 6 years we finally realized that , friends just wanst enough anymore, if and when we do get married whats it going to take to adopt her son? I was poking around and I read something that said we would have to get her ex to sign over ALL of his rights. I not sure if he will going to be willing to do this.... Is there away around it if yes how and does it get expenisve???? I would love to hear from anyone that has gone through this or know the process in which I'm going to have to take . Thanks

p.s. this will be in the state of California if that matters

Answer 1

If the baby's dad wants his rights you can not adopt. However you can be an excellent step dad and love the child. Forcing out the dad is no way to have a good relationship with the kid.

Answer 2

The only way you can is if the father signs over all rights to the child. No their is not a way to get around it. It must be done legally. I wouldn't advise lying about the paternity either, as the father to the child does have his rights also. You haven't said anything as to if the father wants his son or not.

Answer 3

You would have to PROVE him completely useless - ie. drug addict - murderer - something really bad to get courts to do anything. Other than that - unless he signs off on the child - forget it!

Answer 4

Hi,

        Just a little background. My name is Lucy. I am a mother of three Awsome boys. Two of my sons are from a previous marrage. After we we're married, my husband wanted to adopt my two sons. And he did. The Father has to sign all rights over to you. First of all you need to decide if this is for you. I do not know you situtation, But you need to make sure that you want this. After all is said and done if there is a split you will be responsible for this child as if he we're your own. Including child support, medical, daycare, schooling ect. After that, there are many factors that can pursuade a father that is not a part of a childs life to sign over his rights. For instance, if he does not visit the child or care for the child or pay is child support. The key factor in my husbands case was the fact that the father had over $6,000 in back child support. He did not want to pay that. He also did not want to pay and new support. So he decided that his money was worth more than his sons. Greed is typically the answer in these cases.

So if he is a dad that doesnt care about his son then you have leverage.

But if he does care, and pays support and is a part of the childs life, you can not just push him out. A previous writer said you could prove him unfit (drugs ect.). that is not correct. Look at Brit Spears, She still has custody but not visitation.

And besides if he is a loving father you should want him a part of your girlfriends sons life. After all he is his Real Father.

Hoping it works out for All of you

Lucy

p.s.

It can get pricey, I would hire a lawyer if he does agree to sign the rights over. So that once thew are signed he can not back out and the judge see's favor on those with counsl in these cases.

Answer 5

Do a Google/Yahoo search for "adopting spouse's child" and that should help guide you in the right direction.

You could also do one for "adopting spouse's child+california"

Best