My gf is depressed. HELP PLEEEEEASE?

Question

My girlfriend and i have been together for about a year and a half now. Shes a little younger than me, and is in her first semester of college. Her parents are divorced, and her mother is an alcoholic who emotionally and sometimes physically abusers her daily. Shes afraid to leave the house because of what her mother will do to her later. She doesnt have a car becuase her father just doesn't seem to care and is very busy with his job. Her mother is just too lazy and drunk to ever help her get a car either. The rest of her family knows its going on, but don't want to spend the time to help her. I actually got her to contact officials about the physical abuse thing, but the people were morons and somehow let her mother find out that her daughter turned her in. This only caused more problems in the long run. She feels trapped in her own home and cant afford a car. Its up to her family to get her one, and everyones just taking there time and putting the issue on the back-burner. SHE NEEDS ONE NOW. I have told her im here for her numerous times, and i care about her so much.

Now shes getting so depressed that she takes her anger out on me for no reason, and then trys to blame me for the arguements. She gets all worked up and starts crying, then says things to may that really hurt my feelings too. I feel like shes bringing me down with her. I dont want to put up with this anymore, but i cant break up with her becuase i love her so much. Im generally a wise person, but i just cant figure out what to do. I thought about maybe going to her family, maybe her aunts and uncles, and telling them that she needs help becuase shes depressed, but im afraid that just might anger the family becuase they look at it like thats strictly family business and none of mine. They dont understand that its affecting me too. My life is stressful enough right now between working full time and going to college full time. I know that if my gf can get out of this mess she would be happy.

Someone please help me, i dont know what to do. I really am afraid that if i leave her, she will kill herself, shes already talked about it, and tried it. She doesnt have money to seek proffessional help either.

Answer 1

You have to be patient and kind to her. Women look for moral support from men. She might say things that would hurt you , but that is okay. She is just frustrated. Sooner or later she would realize that despite her irrational anger you have been always kind to her and she would love you more. Try to say cheerful things, try to distract her. Keep reminding her that all this is temporary, once you have enough money, you will rescue her from this mess once and for all.

One more thing you could do is get help for her mother.

Most important thing, SHE NEEDS YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT.

Answer 2

You could look at the possibility of her taking Valerian. It is a natural herbal remedy for anxiety/stress and nervousness which is available over the counter from a herbalist shop. Maybe if she could have a little help to calm down and discuss the problems and possible solutions with you then you could both move forward with these difficulties.

Best wishes. UK

Answer 3

There are telephone numbers that you can call that are anonymous. They have to keep it confidential,away from her parents. In fact i don't think she has to give her name. Could she move in with you or any of your relatives, do your relatives no? Ask them for advice. Let her know she is not on her own. That she doesn't have to be afraid coz she has you. That's all i can think of but i would deffo go with phoning up, look it up on line.

Hope this helps

Answer 4

have you thought about maybe asking her to move in with you so that she has good company rather than bad, and it may help your relationship, temporarily maybe until she can earn enough to be in a dorm at college. there are groups you can look up where people who are going through silimar situations meet and talk, and she can hear the experiences of others who are going through the same or have got out of those situations and take their advice.

i know I'm just an outsider and have no clue of the real ordeal but it seems to me she needs to get away and make a life of her own away from her mother. and needs a little push from you to help her out of it.