My girl friends obsessional behaviour ?

Question

My girl friend and i have been together for 3 years,its a long story but she has very bad obsessional behaviour ? it all started out as great, fun, and loven relationship, she was a veterinary nurse for 5 years in that time she was abused by one of her managers (andrew) ,he did alot of nasty things to her like for instance he use to though things at her and tell how rubbish she was ect basically really nasty. As time went by she left with her family getting involed with the vets,she moved on to other jobs but they didnt last long as she fault people were being bitchy as she puts it. Ever since she has left the vets she has had this anxiety problem where she blames everything on this one particular person,she has been to the doctors and was on anti depressants for a while but it didnt seem to work. I love her deeply and i know she loves me too,she never makes time for me in the bedroom department as she is always too tired or she has to get up for work in the morning ect. ok now for the big bit the obsessional behaviour,sarah my partener has this problem where she hates foreigners and black ethnic people everyday she gose on about how these people are taking over our country and how she cant stand the site of them ect. In the fist 2 years of our relationship she wasnt like this at all and she blames that this problem is andrews fault that made her like this( the vets). She can be nasty,agressive and a bully at times she even dose all this to her mum and gives her grief but not to her dad she dosnt dare do that as she is afraid of him.

i would appreciate if anyone could help me i want to be with her and help her but she thinks im selfish for not understanding her i could go on, Thank you regards josh, p.s im 22 she is 23

Answer 1

Your g/f needs professional medical assistance as her problem is much more deep rooted than you think.

These feelings have an awful lot to do with lack of self esteem.

She needs to talk her feelings through with a professional counsellor.

Answer 2

Professional help is required.

Answer 3

well why dont you go somewhere and ask for help wid use to u cnt belive u come on yahoo Lol x  

Answer 4

Cut away. You're just scared of letting go.. You're too young and its a lost cause. Don't damage yourself. I know you don't want to hear this and its probably the last thing on your mind but from what you tell me, you need to dump her. Not worth the hassle.

I've been in enough ralationships to know when to quit and im 1 year older than you.

Listen to what Ligge Lee above me said. Sound advice here mate.

Answer 5

This doesn't sound like an obsessive behavioral problem to be honest.  Being obsessed would be more like her not letting you see people, taking over your life, etc.  She definitely needs professional help.  She also needs to sue the vet for his behavior!!  We are all covered by rights when we work in offices against such behavior!  As for the whole racist thing, unless Andrew was black, hispanic, etc., I don't see how she can use that as an excuse for her racism.  Even if he were, you can't categorize all people of that race.  It would sound more correct if she had a thing against all males rather than just people of different races.

But yes, seek a psychiatrist that she can open up to, although you'd probably like to be there for her and let her talk to you about these things, you cannot professionally help her and your heart will lead you to tell her that she is not wrong in these instances when she actually is.

Answer 6

Well i was once one of those girlfriends. i was with my ex for a while. Talk to her, the best you can do is let her know how you feel, and if she gets mad she gets mad but if she wants to be with you she will do anything for that. I wish my ex talked to me, becouse now i realize how bad i was. and like i know that it is easier said than done, but you should make sure you are open.  becouse it will make things alot worse if you dont and hold it all inside. tell her you care for her. and beleive me, she needs a reality check, becouse she will realize that she loves you im sure.. and if you leave it will make her change. you could always try a break. well hope it helps.

if not good luck.

Answer 7

Sounds like my late wife

She could not relate to people, and was at war with some one and every one at regular intervals

I loved her, and to be honest' suffered in my health due to her continual bad behaviour, and in the end she turned on me.

on insight even though I loved her and still do' I would not have married

her, You are taking on such a responsibility, I'm sorry to have to warn you,   even so' good-look to you

Answer 8

wow, way too much to deal with when you are only 22. Tell her to go away and figure it out and come find you when she is back to normal. Obviously you aren't able to do anything and you've tried all you can. Its all in her head and its her emotions and she is turning on you. Probably best to give each other space and let things cool down.

Sounds like a waste of time to me though, sorry as I am sure you love her dearly. Its just, we only have one life, its not a rehearsal and we can't come back and do it again if it doesn't work out. Better to be happy than live in misery because of someone else...one life, your life, live it!

Answer 9

She could be OCPD and if so you have your work cut out for you as this is a lifetime disorder.  Look it up as there isn't enough space here to give you a decent overview.

Or, email me and I will send you the information.

Answer 10

I think you need to see a proffesional person about the problems. then talk through what are the main problems for you and your partner. write these problems on a piece of paper and come up with some sort of document on how you BOTH plan to change these problems. take action and together you will find that, with her on medication, you can recover. my adivce is if nothing comes out of this and things are still the same, then you must must consider, sounds very unfair but moving on and leaving her. good luck whatever you try and do!