My girlfriend dumped me, now she wants me back, what do I do?!!?

Question

A little background first. My girlfriend and I have been dating exclusively for over a year, albeit long distance (she near Bakersfield, I'm in SF). Things were going great until sometime last week when she kept pressuring me and asking me when we were getting married. I was shocked by this, since I'm only 24 and we've only been dating a year - not necessarily peanuts but way too early for marriage in my opinion. She opined that she is 28, Filipino, and being unmarried at her age was not desirable. I told her we weren't getting married now, but could certainly see it in our future - a perfectly acceptable answer IMO.

Ever since that discussion, things felt a little off. Phone conversations lulled, she didn't say I love you, etc. About a week later, she calls and tells me she thinks she needs a "break" from boyfriends, saying she's had one her whole life and just wants to be alone. She also cites some stress with her moms waning health (which ive been supportive).

Whatever the reason, I'm a chump, as in now single. So, the day after we break up, she sends me numerous text messages saying she misses me and how we need to be strong to get through this? It seems to me like she just needs a break and not a "break-up" per se. My question is, how do I get her back? Do I play the nice, boyfriend, caring type? Or do I shut her out for a few days so I can get on with my life, then let her back in?

Please help!! P.S. I know this shouldn't be technically in the "marriage" section, but I realize there are better answers here, as opposed to the "singles & dating" section.

Answer 1

If you love her then maybe you should work it out, but draw the line as far as when in the future you would like to get married and start a family. If she loves you she will respect that and that's it. If she is still in a hurry and doesn't seem to compromise then you need to tell her it's over and move on.  

Answer 2

Give her another chance fool! besides women that come from other Countries make better wives most the time! and Where she comes from they treat their men very well and spoil them cook clean etc! lol

If I were a man I would only date someone from another country! unless I found a good American girl! But if you like her alot and she treats you very good! then give her another chance!

And she's right people that are from other countries think and talk about young women who are getting older and not married....not that it matters to you or neither should it to her but it is true!

Im from Leabnon and which means Im arab and I hear that all the time!

Like oh this girl is getting older and no one has married her yet etc and they go on and on lol they use to pull that s**+* on me but Im all Americanized! and I don't care what people say ! I to tell them...Yeah Im American and we dont think like that! lol And I use to say Im too young I dont care! but anyhoo....

Im just saying If I were a man! I would for sure date some foreign chick and marry her have some nice kids and make sure she is like going to cook and clean etc! not like a maid of course just like housewife'ish you know ? some American women are like this too, just not enough of them! I fortunately took the good outa both worlds! and make a perfect woman for my American white buy Fiance :) he couldnt live without me! But just give her another chance if you think she loves ya ! good luck! try being engaged for a bit like someone else said :)

Answer 3

Dont let her pressure you into marrying her. Sounds like thtas what shes trying to do. Only do it if you WANT to.

Answer 4

Let her go, if she comes back, then play along and get the make up s*x, then dump her and move on to someone not so flakey.

Answer 5

if you love her that much propose to her and tell her that you dont want to get married right away. Because that is what she wants..... sometimes when in love you have to do things that you are not sure or to keep the other person happy! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

Answer 6

The first question I ask is whether she is in need of a husband to stay in the US or whether she is a US citizen.  If the former, forgetaboutitbaby!!  If the later then let her have her alone time but keep open the channels of communication.  It is not unusual to talk about marriage at some future time a year or two off.

Answer 7

She's playing with your head to see how much you like her and to get you whipped. It's called mind games. It zaps your self esteem and she'll prey on you because you're weak if you give in. She's hoping that you're so upset that you will never want to loose her again and will become more subservient to her. In the future she will threaten breakups to get what she wants.

Loose her number now, you'll thank me later. Find someone closer to you and you'll have a lot more fun and get to know the person a lot better before even considering marriage.

Answer 8

tell her to keep it moving, your feelings are not to be played with because she needs a break, she is bugging then she should have never hooked up with you. don't rush anything with her, you have her back but it sounds like she keeps stabbing you in yours, me personally if someone broke up with me i would not want them back or go backwards in a relationship sometimes that is not good, it is possible that she can do the same thing again, or if you was married think about her actions and ways, then you can level out what you want to do with her good luck on your decision

Answer 9

let her miss you and have her space. don't hound or bother her. she will come around. if not, their are always more apples on the tree to pick