My girlfriend is a single mom. We love each other and want to marry. But i am from a different culture, in ?

Question

which i have to get my parents approval. I dont know if they approve coz she has a child which is not mine. I am afraid to talk abt this with my parents coz they may disagree me marrying her. So what i am thinking to do is to not to tell that she has a child. they dont have to know right? It is ok to lie for love? what you people think?

Answer 1

This is wrong u should be open en say the truth if shehas a childits ok uloveher like that ,if you lie they will kow one day en they will never trust you

Answer 2

i understand what your saying, my family are also the same '' approval'' and what not, but you know what? i don't think thats fair, My parents have always pushed me down to what they want for me, and it never got me anywhere that i was happy, if your happy and you accept the fact she has a baby from another person in the past, then to h**l with it. Do what you feel in your heart and mind... if they say no, Then what is stopping you? do you want to always be pushed down in life? You wanna enjoy it and be happy and if she does then you should do it weather they do accept or not my dear...at the end of the day, in the end they will agree cause they love you and what you to be happy. It will be hard at first but who knows... they may love her... good luck! x

Answer 3

what do i think? i think you should grow some balls!

if you truly love her you wouldnt care what your parents think -  my parents disapprove of my husband, but as i love him i do not care. Dont start lying to your family about the child or anything else. Be honest, upfront, and go for what you want.

good luck.  

Answer 4

first of all u are an adult. u should be able to marry who u want without getting anyone approval. go with your heart if i think she s the right one for u go for it. u only live once.  the only person u need to go to these thoughts about is the man up above GOD he will answer u. good luck

Answer 5

Don't lie. The marriage is not only between you and your girl but its between your family and her family.

Answer 6

Don't lie, not telling is lying. BUT if you love her you will marry her no matter what your parents say. Wasn't is romeo and Juliette? or am i too sleepy?  

Answer 7

That is not very nice for the child. This is something similar but from the other side.  My uncle lied about his children to his new in-laws when he got married to his wife, who comes from a traditional background. He also lied about his age to his in-laws. We did not care about him lying about his age but his kids. None of us went to the wedding because we were so annoyed. It was in a far away place so in the end it was not too conspicious that we were not there. They did find out - I do not know how, maybe he did tell them - about one child but not about the other. But it was awful. The in-laws have no problem I think - but he is a man. Tell your parents. Honesty is the best policy in a situation like that. You cannot lie about the existence of somebody.  

Answer 8

Enter premarital counseling ... it should entail financial counseling, marriage counseling, how to raise the kids, how to be a good step parent, how to deal with baby daddy and so on.  

Do that before you talk to your parents about her.....

God knows you don't want to lose your family over anyone IF you haven't taken the steps to make sure you are entering into a relationship with your EYE WIDE OPEN.  

Answer 9

You should never lie to your parents.  There is a lot to consider.  First, is the child's father involved in her life?  Does he see her, pay child support?  Those are issues you will have to deal with along with wanting to marry this woman.  Are you in the United States?  You can introduce your girlfriend to your parents, and hopefully they will like her, and her child.  Tell them she means the world to you and want to marry her and that you wish for their approval.  Your parents should not punish the innocent child either.  If they do not approve, and you really strongly feel you love this woman, than marry her.  You can tell your parents you are an adult, you did ask for their blessing, but you still made the decision to marry because you are so very much in love, and she loves you also.  

Answer 10

It depends on how close you are with your parents. You obviously are because you care so much about having their approval about your marriage. Honestly, I think they should know because it's not like you can keep a child secret forever. If I were them I would be more upset that you didn't tell me before you got married. Just talk to them and tell them the truth because when you lie about something this big, it only means trouble.

Answer 11

Er would they not find out eventually anyway?

Do your parents know you're seeing her?

And you could be surprised by their reaction...my boyfriend and I were convinced his parents would never approve our relationship but they knew me before we started dating so even though they were sceptical to start with, they soon came round to the idea.

(We're have the same circumstances as you and your girlfriend)

Answer 12

In the end, you decide what your true culture is, it isn't just what you grew up with, but what you want. I highly advise against lying to your parents..... I mean if you would lie to them, you really don't care what they think, you just don't want their criticism. The difference between truth and lies is courage and cowardice.... Lying about something like this will get out.... for all you know, they may disapprove of marrying her because of the religious difference..... are you gonna lie about that too?

also, think about it from you future spouse's point of view, if you can sooooo easily lie to you parents, why could you not lie so easily to her???

Answer 13

if you do love her, you wouldnt have a doubt in your mind

lying only causes more lies and it breaks trust

Answer 14

This very thing happened to me. I'm English and my partner was Asian. I have a child from a another realtionship and my partner did not tell his parents. My partners brother and their Auntie knew about my son . It is very hrurtful to your girlfriend as her child will be a secret and thisa will make life difficult for you . make a decision, be a man ad tell your whole family that you are goingt o marry and they can't stop you and you will make this marriage a success. Just tell them and no matter what stay together.

good luck x