Question:

My girlfriend is prego and it's not mine.?

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I been looking for a little guidance online for my situation but can't really find anything, so I guess I'll post it and see if any one can offer some insight.

First my and girlfriend have been together over 5 years. We've had problems, I'm sure just like any other relationship but this one was a little different. Due to a demanding work schedule for around the last 13 months, I may have lagged a bit on my boyfriend duties. But 13 and 14 hours of work a night really take it out of me. I know I wasn;t there for her like a should have been, but I thought she could hang in there. Our absence of spending time together turned into arguments and fights and after 11 months of dealing with it, she kinda gave up on me and left to live with her friend. After a week of being gone, she came back, only for us to have an argument again and she left once more. We talked regulary everyday she was gone, and finally after the 3rd or 4th week of being gone, she asked to come back home and work things out. We talked and she admitted to cheating. She told me she was seeing abother guy for about 2 months. She said she was sorry but she felt so alone with me working overnights and leaving her alone so much. She also said that I dont show any emotion toward her and she was always second on my list of priorities. I forgave her, knowing this was partly my fault, for taking her for granted, and her honesty and sincerity on comming back and working things out was an eye opener that she really loves me. After the third day of being home with me, I come home in the morning to find she had packed up all her stuff and was getting ready to leave again. I asked why and she wold not tell me, and she said she couldnt even look me in the face. Turns out she is prego and its not mine. After thinking long and hard about this whole situation, I am still willing to except her and help raise this baby as if it were my own. We've talked several times, and still she is not clear to me on what she wants. I've poured my heart out to her, and shes not sure what to do. She loves me and was willing to try again until she got prego, now everythings changed. The baby's father wants to be a part of the baby's life and her's and she believes thats the right thing to do. After pouring out my heart to her, I asked what she really wanted. I told her my door is open, but if she was sure on what she wanted to do, and our relationship was past fixing, I would walk away and let her be happy. She said she's not sure what she wants, she's confused and not sure what the right thing to do is? What should I do, Should I walk away, should I keep trying to get her back? Am I stupid for still accepting her after cheating and getting prego? any insight would help

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  1. You're not stupid for taking her back. But I don't think you should wait around for her forever. Ask her one more time to choose and if she chooses the baby's father, you need to move on and let them try to be together. Make sure that she knows she can always talk to you if anything goes wrong though. Maybe one day she will ultimately decide she wants to be with you and if that time comes and you still want to be with her too, then perfect. But you need to try and find your own happiness for now. You'd get really depressed and angry if you keep on hoping and waiting for her to come back. Anyway good luck.


  2. Ok bud sounds like to me if it was me I would let her go. If while you were away because of work she couldn't keep her legs closed(sorry being so blunt) She could have satisfied herself other ways.Apparently she knew what she was doing. This **** doesn't just happen. It takes two you know?Any way do you know for sure its not yours?Id go and have a paternity test done. Dude its a shame and I'm sure shes an awesome person inside and out but if it was me... Hit the pavement chick. There's other fish in the sea. If you stay with her its just going to be that much harder on you!!!

  3. wow i must say what an awesome person you must be to accept a woman back after cheating and then especially after knowing she is pregnant and it not being yours. on to the bad news. i think you should just let it be. i know thats 5 yrs of your life invested in someone is a long time and it rips your heart out but if she is so wishy washy with her wanting to go and stay and go and stay, she was only taking advantage of your generosity. if she comes back its only because she knows you will take care of her and this baby. if the dad is really wanting to be there for the baby then let him, its his child. if she can work it out with him and make it work for the babys sake then let it go. and even if she doesnt. i dont think shes in a stable state of mind to deal with a grown up relationship after the things she has put you thru. pray for her and move on.

  4. You need to put her out (or leave).  She is responsible for getting herself pregnant with some other guy - she needs to live with the consequences of her actions, you do not.  The possibility that you would remain together, with you raising the child as your own, is a disaster in the making.  You would always know the child was the result of unfaithfulness, and I believe your trust in her has been permanently damaged.  The relationship should end.  If things don't go her way, she'll cheat again - then what?

  5. Get away from her. If she's not pregnant with your child, you have no further obligation to her.  

  6. Dump that hoe. Why on Earth would she have s*x with a guy and let him come in her around the same time you two decide to have a baby?


  7. You are very much like my boyfriend.

    Before I met my boyfriend I had a one night stand and I had also slept with my ex. Then I met my current boyfriend and told him I didn't know if he would want to be with me because I thought I was pregnant but I didn't know whos it was he gave me the same response you did. That he would care for the child as if it was his. That meant a lot to me and it shows that you truly love that person. It was wrong for her to cheat on you I know you work alot but my boyfriend is in the army and well being active duty you know how much I get it. Anyway, she sounds confused and scared. Just give her time and space and be there for her. Right now that is what she needs. She needs you to comfort her and let her know everything will be alright. It would be good to have the real father in the childs life also but its also great to hear that you will care for the child too. It really means a  lot to her also that you would forgive her. You both are truly in love. Give it time, space, and love.

  8. Seriously, if you fight as much as you mention, it would only get worse as time went on. Now that she has been with another guy and got pregnant, she must deal with what she has done. If she really cared for you and wanted to be with you, she wouldn't have left, nor would she have been with someone else behind your back. Are you expected to quit your job to make her happy. How will she be happy when you have no money. What would happen if you still had to work a lot, she would sleep with more people? You also have the lost trust, and obviously she must not think you are her one and only. Let her go and don't look back. There are plenty more women out there that could do you much better.  

    Lastly, that is very noble of you to opt to raise the baby, but that is not your mess to clean up. Besides, years down the road, you may resent the baby since it wasn't really yours.  

  9. Tell the hoe to hit the road!

    Excuses excuses ..so next time she does this what else she going to say or use as an excuse..?..

    This is not your problem, it will be come your problem if you choose to become part of the problem..if you let it!

    She needs to find herself and needs to stop trying to do so by sleeping aotund, that doesn't do anything exept cause drama.

    You learned a hard lesson from this and so did she.

    Keep in touch, but if that's too much then have some space and reconcile if and when it's time..

    you need your happiness sounds like she brings more dampness than sunniness...so you know what she should do..

    she could always abort..don't know if she believes in it..

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