My girlfriend wants to be free?

Question

Well,

(Sorry if my english is bad)

I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 months now.I'm 16 and she is 15 and she is my first girlfriend(i'm her second)..

Today she sms'ed me she wants to be "free",that means for her to be able to go out with friends(boys,girls).And also to "do some more"..you know what i mean..

I know she loves me, but she told me she misses the single-life and the fun of flirting when going out etc. ..

So she asked me for a "open relationship"(for around 1 month to try).She means, not being in a realationship with me, but doing all the things we do now, but also be free to do anything she wants to do with others.

Some may think "OOOH u r sooo lucky..having a gf and be allowed to fuc* wit others..."

But i don't know if i can handle such a situation..

Answer 1

I'm sorry you're first experience with a girl is turning out to be such a disappointment. Please don't think that this is a normal way to be in a relationship because it's not! Relationships are a commitment between two people who want to be together. It sounds as though in your enthusiam for a first time girlfriend, you settled for someone who is not looking for the same things you are looking for. As hard as it may be for you now (but you'll be thankful in the long run), I think you should stop seeing her all together and let her see whoever and how many other people she wants. It sounds as though she could end up cheating on you, which would only sour you to other girls and believe me, this is not the norm. If it is, then it's a sad statement on your society. She's clearly letting you know that she is not interested in a committed relationship with you and she sounds too immature to make you feel safe and satisifed in the relationship.  

Answer 2

I believe you should break up with her. If she really loved you then she wouldn't do that to you. Someone like that isn't worth going after.

Answer 3

Dude, you're 16!!!! Get over it!!! She's doing what you both should be doing, getting to know other people (Although you sound even to young for that). Save the serious relationships for when you hit your mid-20's.

I'm 32, I dated lots of girls growing up, but didn't have a serious girlfriend until I was around 24. You should be having fun at your age, not stressing about a serious relationship. Go out and have fun like she is.

But honestly, don't settle for a "open relationship" with her. Don't give her what she wants, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants to have all the emotional connections of a relationship with you, then go out and be single and f*ck whoever she wants away from you. What is that??!! She'll be getting everything she wants, and you'll be left feeling like s**t. Break away from her completely. Don't be a sucker man! There's no point in talking anything over with her. If she's reached the point where she had to ask for this, then the relationship is doomed anyways. Talking things out with her, will just lead to her lying to you and saying "ok, we can work it out", but then starts cheating on you. Trust me man, at my age, I've seen this c**p happen millions of times.

Answer 4

ill do anything that she wants, but i definitely would not marry her anytime in my life.

Answer 5

you need to tell her that you dont think its going to work out for you...you may like her alot but there are other people in the world and there will be someone out there for you that feels the same way you do and wants the same out of a relationship...good luck

Answer 6

If you can't handle an open relationship, it would be much better to just break up. If she wants to date around, that's fine. But it sounds like you want more of a commitment. You'll become what's called "friends with benefits" or "f*ck buddies"... and that only works if both of you are in agreement with that arrangement. In other words, it'll only be okay if you want to be free too.

So let her know that you're not comfortable with that. If she is set on being free, then set her free. But don't let her string you along. Also, it'll be quite dangerous because if she's having s*x with others, you never know how safe she is being (using condoms, etc). You wouldn't want to catch anything she might catch from other people. Also, it'll hurt very much if you love her but she's going off with other guys.

Edit: I just realized... she is waaaay to young to want to go off and have s*x with other guys. If she's really into that, you need to break up with her. She will not be worth hanging on to.

Answer 7

you both are crazy you stay together don't she like you anymore?

Answer 8

Your girlfriend is not ready for a serious relationship and she loves to party and be free obviously... Of course she is going to feel like that she is just 15 teen she is going to want to be out their and so should you... You should not be thinking of a serious relationship now! you both should be out having FUN....

Answer 9

If you're not ready for that, then tell her outsraight.  

Answer 10

she is telling nicely that she wants to break up.

Answer 11

you are the only one who knows the answer.... what do u think about what she said ? do u agree? if not then u should let her go and soon she will see she had a good thing.whatever u do don't let her walk over u, if u give her the option to have all she wants( u and everybody else) u wil nvr have  sayso in the relationship.just go with ur smarts. u can do it .

Answer 12

she doesn't like you anymore, im sorry if im being rude and mean  

Answer 13

well...

If I were in your shoes I would leave her as soon as possible. she doesn't worth wasting time for ya mate ...

Answer 14

I'll be blunt about this.

"I want to be free" translates into "I want to be a w***e."

Sorry if that's rude, but from a female's POV, it's the truth. You don't need to put up with that c**p. If she truly loved you, she wouldn't want to "be free." Love isn't wanting other people, when you already have a relationship. You should reevaluate your relationship.

Answer 15

Just tell your girlfriend about how you feel, specifically the "I don't know if i can handle such a situation" part. Tell her something along the lines of, I don't know if I can handle this or not, and then try to talk it out with her.

If she really does love you, she'll at least try to understand and work it out with you.

And don't worry about it, if she's your first girlfriend, then you don't have to know everything about girls and all, if you really want to be with her, then just tell her you need to sit down and talk things over with her, and try to make it face to face as well, doing it over the phone is not effective at all.

Hope it helps, good luck with your girlfriend.

Answer 16

Hun, anyone that asks for an "open relationship" doesn't really want to be in one. The very meaning of a "boyfriend/girlfriend" union implies monogamy and exclusivity.

I'm sorry to say that if she's got roaming eyes, (not just eyes for you), then she wants out of the relationship.

I think you should give her the time she needs to figure it out. Break up with her...tell her you're simply not into open relationships and that you feel disrespected with her suggestion. And that it's best if you don't date anymore because ultimately, you would grow apart due to her wanting to be free - in the first place.

Do you really want to put yourself through that....just imagine all the jealousy, heartache, stress and DRAMA you would experience if you put yourself in that situation.

Please just let her go. If she really wants to be with you, it should be just you - not whoever may look good at the time too. If you don't feel right having to share her with others, you don't have to. Good luck dude!

Answer 17

it will never be the same, you will never be able to act the same towards her, and it will eat you bad! just get out.

let her go.. pain i know, but its not good for you and your feelings..she will realize in time that the grass isn't always greener.

set it free, if it comes back its yours, if it dont then it never was.

Answer 18

Wow,

She seems... weird.

If you love someone. you love THEM.  And you don't need anyone else.  I wouldn't be able to do that.  I like to be the center of attention, and not be the backburner.  And I kinda see it as cheeting.

I would tell her that if she loves you, then she would want to be with you.

And I know that she is your first girlfriend, but you are 16.  You have some time to find your soulmate.

hope I helped,

Alissa

Answer 19

There's a lot a person can change from 15 to 20 years old. So, you must know that any relationship may or may not last. Therefor you have to ask yourself if you want to be serious with her or not, something that helps a lot is to have a time off... you both go separate ways for a short period and see how you felt, and if it wasn't pleasent then, go back to how things were, if you liked it, then you should brake up...

If she wants to be flirting and having another kind of fun, that means that she doesn't feel you are enough, and that's a problem, it means that she needs something else that probably you can't give her... and in any relationship that is a sign that things won't last much longer.

I used to have a lot of "friends with rights" (don't know the expression in english so, sorry XD), I never cared for them, and I never took anyone seriously, I had my fun before I decided to have a real bf, wich was until I had 18, so, I can understand her a little bit... so, belive me, she doesn't want to lose you as her friend, but right now, she needs to experiment,

hope it helps! ^-^

Answer 20

if she loved you, she wouldnt miss the single life

Answer 21

1. she does not love you and you do not love her, your too young for that

2. the first guy she goes out with that you know about will make you go crazy and you will end up either beating this guy up or her or any combo of that

3. this girl sounds like bad news if she doesn't want a relationship thats cool just see her occasionally and date

4. You will create stress, use this example...... she has a date with a guy friday night, you have to then go get a date with a girl Friday as well or else you will sit at home or w/ your boys and be mad as h**l and feel like a loser.

Cut it now man your young and there are a lot of ladies out there. this girl sounds like bad news

Answer 22

That is so not fair to you. She's asking you to be a friend with benefits while she can go be a party girl and do stuff with other guys. That's not fair to you, she's not seeing how this is affecting you. You love her and she thinks its not going to hurt you seeing her with other guys and then she comes back and acts all lovey dovey to you. It's not fair! She obviously isn't caring about you, and you deserve better. It's time to move on from this relationship. Next time she comes to get all lovey with you, walk away and she will see how it feels. And don't give in, she's being so unfair to you.

And don't worry, this is your first girlfriend there will be more out there that will treat you better. You have to make sure your relationships are on the same level, because right now, you and this girl are worlds apart.

Answer 23

it looks like your in different situations. you want a serious relationship and she doesnt want to just belong to one person. if you really like her than you should sit down and talk to her about it. itll probly be really akward at first when you talk to her. but i promise you'll be glad you did it. maybe you guys can take a "break" from each other. so you can see what else is out there. and then hopfully in a month or so, she'll realise how much she really likes you and still wants to be with you. but its your relationship. you do what you want to do. hope i helped.

-Libby  

Answer 24

At 15 and 16 you two should not be concerned with whether or not you are missing the single life because you should not be that committed into a relationship that you aren't even going out with friends.  Personally I believe that even committed adults should have friends outside of the relationship.  

With that being said, if you are not comfortable with her dating other guys and you, you can give her the option of dating you and letting her know that you will accept her relationship with friends as a big part of her life and give her the space she needs to do things with her social group.

Or you can decide to date casually but resolve to end the relationship if either one of you decide to become sexually active with another person or become exclusive if you are sexually active with each other.