My goals that I need help with (Long Read)!?

Question

I cannot remember the last time that I was truly happy. Usually, my happiness only lasts for a mere 20 minutes, before it's followed up by an angering event. I am 16 years old, and I take everything too seriously. I enjoy playing video games, but honestly, they cause me to curse out God and break stuff. I have a severe anger problem, which needs to change. I am athletic and I get good grades. However, being confined in my house 24/7 and lacking a girlfriend are two things that have really held me back in-terms of confidence. I am a very good football player, but I am far too lazy to actually put any work towards my high school team. I personally believe my life would be different with a girlfriend, but I am far too angry and upset all of the time to actually work towards that goal. I guess in short, here is what I need to change:

1.) How can I calm myself down with my anger problems?

2.) How can I "force" myself to engage in sports?

3.) How can I engage in more physical activity?

4.) How can I get a girlfriend?

5.) How can I "force" myself to follow a healthy diet, as well as sleeping at a decent time?

Answer 1

yeah somtimes i also feel like i need to change my attitude so what i do is

1.-listen to music to calm me down and think differently(i do this when noone is home)

-write all my feelings out in a diary everyday.

2. don't force yourself, just try it out and it'll actually be funner then you think it is

3. try not to force yourself, go out with your friends and play alittle of idk? maybe tennis, basketball, jumprope, think of games  maybe with running, softball and  it will all be fine

4.to get a girlfriend, don't be a badass to the girls(i know how we likee our boys ;] )

be kins,sweet and gentle with the girls and be fun and funny to them just don't be foolish

5.healthy diet..watch what you eat don't eat junk food and when you are offered junk food, take a second to remeber that you are on a diet for now and when you get in good shape you can have some

eat salads (no dressing or croutons) eat meat ,vegetables and fruits(no grapes, they are worse for you,hard to digest) three meals a day and eating bigger amounts is not always better and try to make a schedule of what tiem you'll be eating. try going to sleep at 10 and last meal should be between 6:30-7:00  

Answer 2

Hi Zephiel,

You might benefit from psychological assistance (perhaps there's a school counsellor you can talk with for free?)  If not websites like www.reachout.com.au have factsheets that you can download to help you.  

You can't force yourself to do anything - so please don't beat yourself up about it.  What you can do is follow a symptom diary for a while (where you write down what affects you and how) then you can analyse it for patterns.  If your thought patterns are negative, cognitive behavioural therapy might help you to overcome these.  A good place for this without leaving the house is moodgym offered by Australian National University.  

I suggest that you pick one goal to start with (maybe engaging in more physical activity).  Set yourself a SMART goal (Smart goals are specific, measurable, achieveable, realistic and time focused) like I would like to go for a walk every day for 20 minutes (you don't have to go outside - you can walk around the house).  Create time in your schedule to do this and create a chart for yourself which marks down when you exercise.  When you achieve your first goal you will find that your mind and body like the feeling of achievement and this will make achieving further goals easier.

I hope this helps you.

Answer 3

Well, lets start from the beginning.

1) Consider seeing a psychologist or do something like "primal scream" therapy. Find a place where no one can hear you and just scream like you  have never screamed before. It sounds stupid, but it's totally not. It does help.

2) Technically, you can't force yourself to do anything. From what you say, you're a good football player. Well, I'm not trying to downsize you or question your skills, but if you're aren't really involved or engaged in your sport of choice, should you really be playing it. Being engaged in something requires you to actually like it (not saying that you don't).

3) Join a different sport. Try track and field. Running is not only something you can do anywhere at anytime, but it's strenuous exercise which is good for your body AND can possibly help with your anger issues.

4) First off, make it known that you are available. Second, re-evaluate your appearance (if you want to) and try to be amiable to people. If you have a particular girl in mind, try casually talking to her and getting to know her.

5) Following a healthy diet should be a personal choice that you take seriously. If you choose to follow a healthy lifestyle, make it not just creating a healthy relationship with food, but treating your body better.  Going to sleep at a decent time, will give you more energy, prepare you for the day, and also may clear up some of your crabbiness.  

Answer 4

Well, believe it or not, prayer is really helpful. Have you taken Jesus as your saviour? Seriously, its awesome. He's like a big bro. ^_^

In terms of everything else on your list, getting rid of the anger issue will probably help with everything. But a good trick for sleeping right is to one morning, get up SUPER early so you're absolutely pooped the next day and go to bed early. You'll naturaly get up early as a result. Healthy diet, just drink a ton of water. You'll be full on that for a while, and bring your own lunch to school. You can ask your mom to make it for you so you arent tempted to shove a bunch of chips or soda in it or something.

Answer 5

That's your main problem...you can't really force yourself to do anything, you have to really truely and nonestly like it.  Try to find what you are passionate about in those areas or just focus on all the amazing benefits you could receive if you put effort into it.

If you have an anger problem I really wouldn't sudjest getting a girlfriend, that is, if you take your anger out on people.  But if you dont, getting a girlfriend is easy!  Girls like when boys like them.  Just tell a girl, "Hey, I think you're pretty cute.  Wanna hang out some time?"  the worst they can say is "no" and in that case what changed?  You were single before you're single now, so it didn't matter.

To control anger I sudjest music....either angry music to help you vent...or happy music to swich your mood around, whichever works best for you.  For angry I think you should go with Marilon Manson....and for happy I think something like Animals by Nickleback!

You kinda sound deppressed, and if you can fight your depression you'll be much better off.  You may consider seeing a doctor, or if that seems too extreem just try talking to a trusted friend, parent, or adult.

Best of luck with everything.