My grandma is playing favorites with my boys not my girls and it shows, she comes uninvited and disregards my?

Question

i have triplets(5) and a 3 yr old girl my grandma favors the boys my oldest (girl of triplets) cried her eyes out because she couldn't go with when the boys went to visit at grandmas house. i work overnights and i told her to let me know when she wants to visit so i can take time off but she's coming down today without my consent. i have alot more to say about this situation and many more regarding my grandma please help I'm stressed over this and i want a restraining order but don't know it I'm over the limit

Answer 1

Well with the additional details, here's what I would do.

If she shows up at your house, tell her that she must leave, because she is no longer welcome there. If she doesn't leave, call the police and have her removed, and have the situation documented and filed with the police dept.

I would also keep a record of when she calls, if it starts to become harassing. I know there is a device that you can connect to your phone line that will record calls when turned on, which is something I would consider.

With documented evidence that you have made it clear that you don't want her near your house or children, you have a better chance at being granted a restraining order by the courts.

Along with the fact that she tried to give away your kids; if you could get someone who was a part of the situation (not that they just heard about it) write out a statement about that situation and get it notarized, that would be a major plus for you.

If you do follow through with getting a restraining order I would address the issue of her threatening to call child protective services. Unless she is going to claim that you abuse or neglect your kids, they won't do anything, but if you think she might claim that, I would be a step ahead of her, and talk to them, or a police officer, first. Just tell them that you are pretty sure that she will make false allegations against you, and you don't want anything to happen to your kids.

I hope everything works out.

******

First, take a deep breath and relax.

Now, have you talked with your grandma about how she's treating the children? I would sit down with her face-to-face, without the children around, and explain everything that's bothering you.

Tell her that this is your home, and your family, and that you expect her to respect you enough to let you know ahead of time when she wants to visit. Let her know that you aren't trying to stop her visits (unless that may not be true), because your children like to see her, but that her showing up without enough notice is unacceptable.

While your having this talk, also mention that you believe she is favoring the boys. Don't straight out accuse her of playing favorites, but tell her that she is making your daughters feel left out and, that that also is unacceptable.

Basically, I would lay it all out on the table very bluntly. She can not show up unannounced, and she can not continue to leave out your daughters, or else she isn't welcome.

I wouldn't mention the restraining order, or even think about it, until you've had this talk. If it doesn't change, then I would have a second talk about how she isn't welcome. And if she continues to show up, then I would talk about the restraining order.

Answer 2

tell your grandma to just leave you and your children alone?

sorry im confused, do you NOT want your grandma near your kids? :S

sorry if i was completely off..

Answer 3

You cannot get a restraining order on the basis of your daughters hurt feelings. You need to sit Grandma down and tell her directly that her favoritism is hurtful and insulting to your daughters and that if it does not stop that you will sever all contact.  

Answer 4

This is your home and your children. Its up to you to set the ground rules that everyone follows. There is nothing wrong with you telling her how it is. If she gets mad oh well. You have to protect your children l, like a wild cat sometimes. In the end you'll have ground children and pride. Tell her how you feel and be honest, direct, and that's that. Maybe she doesn't realize how much this means. LET HER KNOW.

Best wishes

Answer 5

ok watch her today and see whats going on. when she starts to push the girls away take her out of the room and say to her that she ether needs to shape up and love all your children equally or she needs to leave immediately and not to come back. By all means do not get a restraining order that will cause the rest of the family to dislike you and your children to hate you because they will never get to see her. Also if she keeps "just dropping in" she is feeling unneeded were ever she lives and she just wants to help. Make sure she knows that you are really busy and that you might not be there to be around. Also call her with regular updates about the kids. If she knows whats going on she doesn't have an excuse to come down to visit.    

Answer 6

i've had the same problem, except that my mother prefers my daughter over my son.  it really makes me infuriated!

first off, tell her EXACTLY how you feel and how it makes the children feel.  the boys probably don't see what going on, considering they are young and favorite with her, but she needs to know that she is hurting her granddaughters.  

no grandmother that's worth a **** would continue to do things that hurt her grandchildren.  if you are considering a restraining order the kick the b*tch out of your life!