My grandparents might adopt me!! HELP?

Question

i really don't want to be adopted by them. I live with them because of my mothers living situation but I still love her and I want my real mom to be my mom. They might adopt me for social security benifits and that is the only way they could have the benifits is if they would adopt me... And I don't want them to. But if they do can I still call my mom "Mom" and can I still see her?? please tell me I can I don't want to stop seeing her. And they will only adopt me if my mom says it is ok but still answer my question please. thank you.

Answer 1

its okay tell the courts what your worried about. Your mom they can never change to where she isn't your mom. They want to adopt you so they can do things that they can't right now. It will be okay.

Good Luck

Answer 2

With any situation like this taking into account your age you'll be asked how you feel about it. It will have to go to court i guess and you mum will not stop been your mum if you grandparents become your guardians. You need to sit down with them and tell them how you feel be truthful i know it will be hard but thats the best way.

Answer 3

your mom is your mom, no adoption situation will change that. can you talk to your grandparents about it? maybe tell them your fears and see what can be done and what your options are, dont worry ;)

Answer 4

Whoever you think of as your Mom is your Mom.  Nothing can ever change that.  Not even your grandparents adopting you.  Of course, you can call her Mom!

If you heard that your grandparents are adopting you so you can get social security, it is likely that this is being done for you.  If and when your grandparents die, as the beneficiary/daughter of them, you may be able to continue to receive this income.  This may be why your mom and grandparents are doing this.

Yes, they should talk this over with you, because it is obviously affecting you emotionally.  Ask for some counseling -- even one session would help to sort all of this out.  If you cannot afford that one session, try going to a minister or priest or rabbi.  I think there is more to this than you realize.  

I am sure the adults are just trying to do what is best for you because they love you.  But we adults don't always know what that best decision is.

Have patience with them, and ask for some guidance for all of you so you can expresses your feelings -- appropriately.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Youll have to go to a court hearing for the adoption. If it is contested it might not happen. Your mom will have to give her approval. Talk to your mom and tell her that as a condition you want to have visitation. The court can order visitation is they see fit.

And even if your grandparents do adopt you, it shouldnt change your relationships with anyone. Mom will still be mom, you will still live with them. Itll just be official for things like school and signing papers for you. If they arent your guardians they have no legal action to do anything liek put you in school. Its probably for the best but def. bring up your concerns and let the courts know when there is a hearing.

Answer 6

A legal adoption only means they are your legal guardians. Your mom is still your mom, and you can call her that, and you can see her. Let the adults work it out.

Answer 7

I have a friend whose sister had two kids when we were all still in high school. My Friends mother ended up with custody and later adopted the kids. The kids still saw the birth mother and still called her Mom.  In fact, they started calling their grandma Big Mom and the other one was just Mom.

Answer 8

I understand how upsetting and confusing this must be for you. Keep in mind that they are looking out for what is going to be best for you. You can most definitely call your mother, "Mom." Nothing will change her maternity. Just because your grandparents adopt you doesn't mean you have to call them "mom" and "dad". You will probably still want to call them by the names you grew up calling her. It sounds like your mom may be in a rough patch, but if you want to see her so badly I don't know why your grandparents would want to prevent you from that. You will probably be visited by lawyers or child services during the process of adoption if it goes that far, so be sure to tell them how you feel about everything. Don't be shy. Let them know your concerns so that they know the complete situation. They are all going to work in your best interest. I wish you all the best.

Answer 9

Are you truly worried that your grandparents wouldn't let you see your mom?  If not, don't worry. There aren't any rules at all about who you can and can't see with your grandparents permission and there are no rules that say you can't call mom "mom"  If this is the best situation for you go with it.  If there is a reason why you don't think they should adopt you then you should get the chance to let that be known.  The judge will ask you to consent to the adoption if your over a certain age and either way you will get to input your own opinion.

Answer 10

It's just a legal thing.  Don't worry, it won't make your mom any less your mom.  

It just makes the paperwork and the money management easier for your grandparents to take care of you for now.

Don't let legal mumbo-jumbo scare you, everything will be fine, I promise.

Answer 11

Yes, you can still call your mom "Mom" and she will still, and always, be your mother.  As to if you can still see mom, that's up to mom & grandparents.  

Sounds like it's just for the social security - it doesn't really change anything in your relationship with grandparents &  mom.  Since g'parents are paying for your upkeep out of what is undoubtedly their life savings and their fund for when or if they become unable to care for themselves (and I'm sure they're happy to do so), it certainly seems fair to let them adopt you, especially if they aren't trying to keep you out of mom's life.

Answer 12

Depending on your age you may be able to simply say no.

Answer 13

I do not, in any way, see how they would get social security benefits by adopting you.  Either you qualify because your father died or you are disabled.  They don't have to adopt you if you are disabled to get the benefits.  If your father died, they would not be able to get his benefits and they would cease. As guardians, however, benefits would continue.

Yes, your grandparents, if they become your parents, can bar your mother from seeing you, if they so choose.  They are your parents then. You can continue to call your mom 'mom' and grandparents Grandma and Grandpa, anyway.  As guardians, however, the court can dictate visitation if friendly communications break down.

As guardians, they are eligible to collect any benefits that you would be eligible for without having to legally adopt you. I think this situation should be better explained to you, because unless your mother is a drug addict, I don't see how this benefits you unless your grandparents die.  If they died, as adopted parents, they can specify who would finish raising you until you are 18 and your mom would have no choice in the matter.

You seem like an intelligent person. Talk it over with your grandparents. Most of the bad stuff occurs when the mother is not their daughter, but their son is your father.

Answer 14

If they adopt you, they wouldnt become your parents, they'd still be your grandparents.  Many people live with relatives and it's all ok.  You can still call your mom "mom"

Good luck to you anyway.