My grown son hates me now?

Question

I have a grown son who despises me..blames me for everything.. I had him when I was young 16 and maybe I wasnt the greatest Mother..but I did my best.. he has shut me out of his life now.. even though I have apologized many many times for my wrong doings.. he's my only living family member and I miss him.. now he calls me names and says that I am his biggest disappointment. I dont know how fix our relationship. Hes getting married soon and I am not allowed to go. *cries*

Answer 1

unless you have done something terribly wrong to make him this angry, like maliciously trying to hurt him in some way or another.. he is being immature, and selfish. everyone makes mistakes.. everyone. but it doesn't mean he needs to be mean to you.

i am actually in the opposite predicament. i am 24 years old, and my mom had disowned me, when i was 16. i was an average teen, i never did anything horrible, or out of the ordinary. but my mom has mental illness, and started become malicious to me, so i moved out at 16. she let me know she hates me, never wants to see me, and hopes the worst for me, saying i ruined her life. when i never did anything to hurt her. she did the same thing to my older sister as well.

i would do anything to have a mom like you. you sound very sincere, and all you want is a relationship with your son. he may grow out of this anger.. give it a little time. maybe even send him a letter in the mail. let him know you love him, and want to be there for him, and to call if he ever needs anything. try not to pressure him or make him feel like he needs to do something. be the bigger person, and just let him know that if he ever needs you, he will know where to find you.

i have no family either, so i can understand how you feel. i do hope you feel better, and remember, you're not alone :)

good luck.

Answer 2

It's cos the growing environment. whatever u do to him, (child until now) its grows up together with him in his mine. So its not so easy for him to let go what is in his mine. To  my experience, he is deeply and emotionally hurt. Sorry to say it will take a very long period for him to esape u...    

Answer 3

Every parent makes mistakes, some worse than others. It is really sad to see when a child can't be forgiving of those mistakes. He needs to understand that no matter what, you are the only mother that he has and you won't be here forever. Have you tried talking to him?

By the way, I never forgave my own mother for the things that she did to me, but I didn't cut her out of my life either.

Answer 4

sorry, too little too late.  sometimes you can not make up for things you did in the past.  this sounds like one of them.....

Answer 5

Ok, I know I might get "bashed" for my thoughts.............

If you are a religious/spiritual person have your pastor/priest/spiritual adviser help you with this situation.

You have made mistakes as all parents do.  Your son needs to grow up and be a man which includes wiping the slate clean with you and your mutual past and starting new.

You can apologize, beg and plead all you want but he won't budge until someone HE respects tells him to grow up!

Find someone who he respects or who you think he might respect and get a third  party person to help.

None of us can be perfect.  We have all made mistakes, some horrid.  But family is family and we can't have a two way conversation in the cemetery.  

Your son, if you die before him will have some guilt for not ever having made up with you.  

You might have grandchildren and both you and your grandchildren would be missing alot of love and joy.

Don't try to overwhelm your son.  Give him some time and space for a bit and then try a third party to help.

He is young and not yet fully mature.  Hate is an easy emotion while love and forgiveness are hard things.  

Sounds like you have grown up as you admit to having make mistakes, maybe some biggies.  But now he has to grow up and be a man.

Find a third party to help.

God Bless.

Answer 6

before i can answer this... i need to know wat kind of mistake did you do till he hates you so much.... u can share wit me if you dot mind.... i would like to help u too.....