My heart has been ripped out and stomped on and i still want him back!?

Question

i can't live without him. i've been with him for 2 years and 8 months. he's been such a big part of my life, and i lost my virginity to him like 2 years and 4 months ago and he was my first love and i still love him. he loved me but i feel like not as much as i loved him. we fought often and he told me i had to change so i tried but couldnt. then we went on a break, this was about 2 months ago. and i changed for him. and he loved it. and i feel like he hasn't loved me since. just last night, he told me he loved me...and today i asked him if he still loved me and he like, i don't know. so then i was like you're breaking up with me. and he was like i think it would be for the best for us and he just got bored and stressed in his life. he said my life is really stressful and i can't handle a gf right now. and he told me he wasn't sure if he loved me anymore. why would he throw all of this away? he loved me for so long. and i dont know how to live without him. i wont sleep tonight. i cant. i cant eat, i cant sleep. i know it's not the end of the world, but i feel like it is. he said he loved me everytime he f*cked me. he told me he loved me everytime we kissed. he told me he loved me everytime he looked in my eyes. it was real. how could it change? i can't take it. i don't want to see him with anyone else and i don't know how to move on. i went to his house yesterday and he invited me to crawl in bed with him and cuddle me. then when i was crying he was rubbing my back and telling me it was okay, we'll always have these memories. and that we can be friends. and i said i want more! i don't want to be anything less than lovers! and he said that this is the way it has to be. then i asked him if he loved me and he said i don't know...and then i asked him later and he said yes and kissed me. then he was acting normal and cuddling and tickling me. i don't get it. what's he trying to say? then i called him today and was like i'm really still confused as to why you broke up with me? do you love me? and he's like i already told you why!!! and i'm not sure if i love you, i have to go. he was pretty mean about it too...mixed signals much? how do i appear confident to him to make him want me back? i just found out that we have two classes together...in a row. that's two hours that i have to look at his gorgeous face! what should i do to make him want me back? i just want to look s**y and untouchable, like forbidden fruit you know?

Answer 1

Welcome to a broken heart. This is what it feels like and there is no way around it, just through it one day at a time. A broken heart makes us do things we will one day regret...like look pathetic and begging and slobbery while we cry all over him. He may have very well loved you at one time and he may very well still care about you, but he is telling you loud and clear he doesn't want this relationship anymore. Your behavior will just push him away faster and make it that much easier for him because he will start avoiding you and want nothing to do with you. Nobody wants to be hounded after saying I don't want to see you anymore. It's hard enough the first time, let alone having to repeat it over and over. If you throw yourself at him he will eventually accept the booty call, even if he does have the morals to try and tell you no. He is a teenage guy!! He is NOT giving you mixed signals. You are forcing them out of him because he's trying not to hurt you anymore. Stop making excuses for him his actions are screaming the truth-You're not the one. You won't eat, you won't sleep and you will wake up in the morning asking yourself...why why do i still feel like ****? We've all been there, men and women. You will survive. I promise. In the mean time, STOP calling him and contacting him, make plans with friends as much as possible, find someone who will listen to you over and over and over at least for a few weeks. You will need to talk about it to feel better. Go to the gym and exercise - the endorphins will make you feel better. Watch movies that will make you feel like you aren't alone with the suffering...like The Break-Up or The Titanic lol. Put's it in perspective. And please if nothing else get a book called "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt. It will really help you. Good luck.

Answer 2

Love has no boundaries or restrictions...  If he loved you, you would know this & not have to ask him.  You are creating your own demise for this relationship.

Guys would rather jump off of a 10 story building, crash & burn before telling a girl that it's completely over!  The sad thing is, you are pushing him to jump!  The next thing will be him totally ignoring you & you are going to be asking us "why" he would be so hateful not to take your calls...

Let him go!  You really have to face the fact that you are crazy about the "idea" of him, not him...  and he knows this!  

Answer 3

If he's not treating you right, or you can't be yourself with him its not meant to be hun. You'll realize that you're worth more than that, and you deserve to be loved EXACTLY as you are.  Someday it'll hit you that life's too short, and you should be happy.  Another guy will come around who makes you a million times happier and itll be easy to be with him.

Answer 4

He is a manipulative control freak.  If you really want to put up with someone who would treat you this way, you have issues.  You don't need to do anything to attract his attention and get him back.  You need to realize that you deserve better and move on with life.  It won't be easy and will take time, but you CAN do it.  Go listen to some Alanis Morisette songs and get mad about it.  Realize him to be the jerk that he is.

Answer 5

i'm sorry you're going through this.  to comment on your title phrase, i want to tell you that you only want him back because you are #1 - used to him and #2 - haven't gotten over him yet.

try to let him go.  i know it's going to be hard, but you can do it.  he is sure that he does not know what he wants, and will string you along.  you don't need that.  

try to get busy in your life and find things to occupy your mind so that you're not thinking about him as often.  

if you want to look "s**y and untouchable, like forbidden fruit" - do it for you - and for no one else.

keep your head up!

Answer 6

Hes made it pretty clear even though you are looking for little clues that it isnt so. You need to face reality that he dosent want this relationship to continue. Be strong for yourself. As hard as it seems now you will get over him. Good luck.

Answer 7

He is using you and telling you what you want to hear and then taking advantage of you!

Answer 8

It sounds like a relationship that in his eyes is based on s*x, you may be nothing more then a person with whom he can play with versus a person with whom he can actually have a healthy relationship with? I don't know for certain, but Im guessing that you both may be very young? & with youth comes into play, imaturity & inexperience in relationships. This of course is not your fault, nor his. But it may be a warning for you to bail out of this relationship, maybe you would be better off with someone who could offer you more stability? Or you could be alone for a while & figure out what who you are & reflect on what you want in the future, just an idea? I wish the best for you!

Answer 9

Break up! act as though you are cool being friends...you'll see the results!

Answer 10

Don't listen to that first stupid answer.

Everyone in this world knows the power is truly held by the partner with the v****a.  

You are young, and us women can have just about anyone we want (Be a cool sister though and stay away from taken guys).....

You'll fall in love a few good times in your life like this- trust me.  This is just your first time, and it in a lot of ways is the hardest.

If he doesn't want to be with you- there is nothing you can do but move on.  Sounds a lot easier than it is, I know, but this is your only option.

There are roughly 3 Billion Men in this world.  You will find one deserving of your love.

Good luck to you!

Answer 11

The power of the male p***s, is amazing!

Answer 12

You are WAY too young to be involved in this kind of drama.  Anytime you're using the sentence "I just found out that we have two classes together..." that means that you're too young to be having s*x.  Period. And you certainly shouldn't be referring to having s*x the way you did in your question.  You need to let go of all this drama and concentrate on school and friends.  One day you're going to look back and be sorry that you wasted away your childhood.

Answer 13

Why some people are attracted to total morons, I'll never know..  

Answer 14

Grow up and move on.  The reasons shouldn't matter because your in love with him no reason will be good enough.  The bottom line is he wants to end the relationship and you MUST deal with it.  Don't try to throw yourself at him.  Just move on.

Answer 15

Two years is not a long time.

He has told you, but you don't want to hear: he doesn't love you any more and your dramas bore him. Looking s**y isn't enough to make him love you again - he is surrounded by girls who look s**y and he has probably already slept with several of them. He almost certainly feels much too young to be tied to one woman. Of course he'll have s*x with you if you make yourself available; he's a horny young man. Is that want you want to become - his booty call?

Young people fall in and out of love very easily, because their idea of love is inextricably tied in with sexual attraction, and sexual attraction wanes. Sadly, one half of the couple usually gets tired of the other first, while the other is still 'madly in love'.  This is what has happened to you.

You have two options here: humiliate yourself utterly, or save your dignity. Stop chasing him and stop flaunting yourself at him. Accept that it's over. Don't contact him any more and don't, for God's sake, cry on his shoulder or anywhere in his vicinity.  Concentrate on loving and caring for yourself, for a change. Give the men around you a chance to grow up a bit, and then you'll find the right one who's ready for a lifetime committment.

Answer 16

Oh honey I lived this same situation and while your in it its the toughest thing to go through.  I'm sorry for your pain.  But your a woman and you can control yourself and this situation by playing your cards correctly. Let me tell you what I did when this happened to me.  I was miserable horribly horribly miserable same scenerio with my guy he loved me when I slept with him and gave me mixed feelings when I wasn't close by, I got to the point when I wouldn't even raise the blinds in my bedroom EVER, then one night my friends came over and made me shower and go out, the first place I went into I saw him with another girl, I was crushed, ran home and felt sorry for myself.  That made me realize why he was doing what he was doing and that it had to be over for me as much as I thought I loved him I had to move on. He did so I have to at least try.  I tried very hard with a lost feeling in my heart, then I found someone else.  It was a friendship so we hung out then it turned into more.  My ex saw us together alot and begged me to come back to him.  Finally the words I waited to hear were said.  He wanted me back, sat on my car and waited night after night for me to get off work.  He followed me home when i was out, He even came into my house and shoved me on the bed and tried kissing me. I asked him to leave because I knew it was over in my heart.  He left never to come back.  I guess while he was making up his mind I moved on and he never thought I would.  He thought i was so lost in him as I did, only for us both to find out I guess I got tired of the game.  Now after all these years later I hated I wasted the years on him.  Going through it I thought I'd die, but looking back I think about how stupid I was. Remember one thing men love a challenge and want what they can't have.  Try very hard to be strong and confident and you may be surprised how things will turn around.  I went through this and I am happier than I have ever been and its without him, you will be too either way you have to be happy for yourself. Good luck and keep smiling your prettier that way.

Answer 17

At this point the mixed signals are him trying to be nice and not hurt you though he knows he is going to either way.

He is done with the relationship, so let him go. Of course he is going to be nice if you want to sleep with him, he using you because he knows you will give it up to him if he wants it.

This is why so many people say wait to have s*x until you are married. Now you truly understand the emotional connection and how much more it hurts when it's over.

If anything learn something from this! Don't sleep with anyone else unless you are married to them. Don't give so much of yourself to one person without that lifelong committment!

As for this guy.... you just have to move on. You can't make him love you or want you.  

Answer 18

teenage drama is so funny hahaha

Answer 19

I know how u feel. I have been with a guy for over 3 years and one day he and my dad were in a big fight that was 2 years ago since then he never came to my home. I was with him for 2 more years and out of the blue he desides to leve me because he never come to my home. It was the same story one day he told me he loved me and the next he dont know if he loves me. I was broken still am we are back together bud im still broken inside. I dont know if i want to be with him anymore he left me 2 many times and something was taken away from me something special a love that I thout was my one and onley the one om going to marry someday. Now my life is build out of lies i dont know what to do. I can understand that u whant him back. Just give it time do NOT beg him to take u back trust me that onley makes it worse. when I did that he started to take advantedge of me and onley wants so sleep with me and that is the onley time he tells me he loves me. afterworths when i ask him if he loves me he suddenley dont know. So i just left him when he called me i did not answer i did not reply on his sms nothing for a week. Then one day he sms and said he can not live whitout me im the onley one he wants to be with. we are back togeter now but its not the same someting is missing. Im not saying its going to be the same with you. So now Relax and give him time to deside what he wants. and let him come back to you. You have been together a long time love cant just go away in a day. not even if your guy cheats on you. I hope everything goes oky. let me know. best of luck. strongs. you are not the onley one.

Answer 20

First of all he never really loved you.  He only loves you when he wants s*x. Why would you even want to be with someone that is just using you? and you really need to stop being so desperate. Why do you keep asking him if he loves you when he doesn't? I think you need to just leave him be.