My heart hurts my heads and i don't know why i feel this way I'm doubting everything in my life!!?

Question

my ability as a mother i feel like the worst mother in the world today i just Turned the tv on for my son and lay on the sofa crying !! i feel a failure !! but i shouldn't i have a beautifully home a loving family but i just cant pick myself!!! i suffered really bad baby blues when had my son and thought i had beaten it could it be back or am i loosing it!

Answer 1

You have post natal depression. I've had it with both my kids and its bloody awful. It robs you of the early years and also of the enjoyment of being a mummy. Get to the dr as soon as you can and get some treatment. The good news is that it can be beaten. Millions of women have suffered from it and overcome it. I've done it twice. I had antidepressants 1st time round then I took the herbal remedy St Johns Wort 2nd time round. I also needed counselling after the birth of my 1st child as becoming a mother raised some issues for me about my own childhood.

You WILL get better, tell your family and also your friends so that they can give you the support you need.

All the best hun xx

Answer 2

hi, sorry to hear this i suffered with post natal depression, after my first child, you, basically need to get yourself a life outside of the chld, and not make the child too important, as long as its fed , loved, and cared for, thats all it needs.

Answer 3

Call a baby sitter and do something for yourself that you have been putting off for a while.  Go to the salon and get a cut and color;  go get a manicure;  go to the mall and have coffee at the book store.  

MOMS NEED ALONE TIME TOO!

Take some time for yourself and don't feel guilty about it.  You are a Mom for the rest of your life now but you shouldn't neglect the Woman that you were.

Answer 4

This feeling that you're a bad mom is completely normal. It's just that when a child is so young, it's hard to interact with them all day. Just meeting the baby's basic needs is exhausting and it makes you crave the "me-time" that you had before this demanding little person came into your life.

When my son was a baby, I'd have the TV on most of the day or be on the computer for a couple of hours and I'd get distracted from doing chores or anything productive... even stay in pajamas all day unshowered. Then I'd feel guilty like I wasn't providing the quality of life for my son that I hoped I would. But let's face it, the same old routine every day is not motivating and makes life feel stale and you feel tired. You want to take this break between feedings and spend it on you. That's okay. But try to keep a hold on your crying and sulking because your baby can pick up on this. As long as you're giving your baby food, changing him, and meeting his basic needs- including flashing him a smile now and then and showing love... He's going to be just fine and so are you.

Remember to make time to get out of the house and if possible, spend time with another adult... even get your hair done. These things always helped me. And remember too that when things seem their worst... you're probably just tired. Snuggle your son for a nice afternoon nap. Good luck and don't stress!

Answer 5

go to your doc and get on meds. i did. its nothng to be ashamed of!

Answer 6

Sounds like you still have the baby blues.

Speak to your health visitor / GP.

I am sure you are a very good mother but please get help for your depression.

All the best

Answer 7

You should consider seeing a doctor, as it sounds like you are either back to the baby blues or even having depression. I'm so sorry for you cause I know how hard this can be. Please do not wait any longer.

I'm sure you are a great mommy and a good wife and a good person as well, and this doesn't make you any less good!!! Sending you a hug.

Good luck

x*x

Answer 8

Oh you poor thing! Listen - you're not the worst mother in the world today, it is likely you are suffering from a little post-natal depression.  If you suffered from it before it could be that you never fully dealt with it and it's just creeping back up on you.  Go to your GP or talk to someone in your family.  Even just call a help line, sometimes you just need to get things out and know you have some support if you need it.  I doubt very much that you are a failure as a mother.  

There are lots of herbs that can help pick up your mood - you can get them in the form of tea e.g. hawthorn, borage, lime flower, chamomile, just to name a few.  Just make a cup of tea, sit down, gather your thoughts, remind yourself of all the positives about yourself - and DONT let any negatives slip in!! Watch a little tv with your son and give yourself a break!!

Take care!!

Answer 9

You have post-natal depression, along with many others. Get professional help.

Answer 10

It's not you.  It's depression.  Depression does not make you a bad mother.  A bad mother is one who doesn't even care enough to see that there's a problem.  Visit your doctor, describe your symptoms/behavior, and ask for a low-dose anti-depressant.  You're not losing it.  You just need a little help.  Everybody needs some kind of help somewhere along the way....

Answer 11

How old is your son?  What tv show?  How much rest, healthy regular meals, exercise, and a grownup to talk to have you had?  You need to treat yourself well, or you won't be in any shape to take care of your family.  Take small steps until you get a little balance back - and stay close to a relative or friend, at least by phone, until then.  If things don't improve in several days, consider counseling.  Most likely food/sleep/conversation with a grownup aill work wonders.

Answer 12

Talk to your husband and your mother(if she's still with you) and see if you could come up with things to help you.  Don't let any psychiatrist talk you into taking any of the anti-depression drugs.  

Answer 13

Mim darling, its not your parenting that has you feeling this way there are other factors at play here. You aren't mentioning something. You had baby blues it has left and after two years you think it hs sprung back up...no. What else is happening in your life?? you need to examine your thoughts and what you're thinking. This would lead to the answer to your problem.

Answer 14

First thing tomorrow book yourself in with your doctor. Secondly, you are not alone.

      I have 3 gorgeous kids, a fantastic bloke, a great extended family, job & home yet last year I felt exactly how you do. I even considered killing myself as I thought that it would be best for the kids. My doctor wasn't very sympathetic (though I am sure he was just being a k**b head) & refused to put me on any medication, so I delt with it myself. I had made the first step by acknowledging that I had a problem by going to the Doctor, so I knew, even when he didn't help me the way I hoped that I could do something about it. I made sure I got up every morning, no later than 7 am, had breakfast, got washed & dressed & obviously got my children dressed & the 2 boys ready for school. I then made sure that I had cleared all the breakfast pots & left the house tidy when walking the boys to school. I then walked with my daughter to the park, family & friends houses & later in the afternoon I went home & did any cleaning that needed to be done before picking the boys back up from school. After collecting them I Went to the shops to get dinner, & went home to prepare it, ready for when my man was back from work. After dinner I would sit with the boys & help them with any school work & then bathed them & got them ready & into bed. At about 7:30 p.m. I would sit with a cuppa in front of the TV with my man. At the weekends we would make sure we spent at least one day taking the kids out for the day, & so it went on. In other words, I kept myself busy & motivated & guess what? It worked. I feel so much better with life now. My kids are happier & my relationship is healthier than it had been for quite a while. I no longer have to be so strict with my routine. I have got myself a part time job, just in time for my daughter to be starting school tomorrow, & have extended my social life as a result of meeting new people, both at work & by my numerous visits to our local park with my daughter. I feel much more confident & happier. I hope that this will inspire you to pick yourself up, & to realise that you can control the way you feel, without necessarily reaching for the pills.