My hub has moved out tonight, we were separated under same roof, why am I crying?

Question

It's been 7 months of pain and tragedy, he has told me about another chinese-malayesian woman (we are caucasian), list of prostitutes, he got HBV, emotionally absent father to our 2 1/2 old girl, cold, detached, he has moved on, seem happy or releaved to move, I have accepted after deep deep pain and depression,

but still...today he moved to his new place, took furniture,

did not explain to our girl anything, she is ok she will not miss him as she has not been emotionally connected with him ever. It's night, house empty, kid asleep, somehow I knew

that this will come, I accepted, but why I am in tears?

Have you been through this?

Answer 1

Although you expected it, now it is real.  I have a good friend who just went thru the same thing 3 days ago.  She knew it was coming, but the day he moved she fell apart.  It means you are normal, and that you loved the guy.  It means you are a good person and have just been emotionally wounded in a serious way.

Please do this:  Get a copy of the book HOW TO SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LOVE.  It will change your life, and help you heal.  Look it up online and read the reviews, then get the book.  It is an easy read and you will immediately feel hopeful for your future.

Answer 2

maybe because it hurts to see something that you thought was real, walk away and left you with nothing but a broken heart,I am sorry to hear about it.

but I don't understand why race was involved in this.who cares if it was a Chinese-Malaysian woman and that you 2 are Caucasian.a simple "he has told me about another woman" would of been just fine!

Answer 3

Big hug for you!  I'm so sorry.  It's not fair that anyone has to go through this stuff ever.  You married the guy so if course it is going to be painful, even if you had moved on a long time ago.  It's probably painful mostly because you didn't make the decision and because he has been seeing other people and betraying you.

It's easier said that done....but serously, he is not worth your tears.  I've had some very bad things happen to me recently too.  I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years 3 months ago.  He had been dating another girl the entire time we were together and had also had a four year internet relationship with an Indonesian girl in Bali (he had also visited her in Bali twice behind my back).  I discovered a lot of other things too...jewellery bought for other women, other Asian women he was sleeping with in our home town, that his family was fully aware of what he was doing, some of my work collegues know what he was up to and said nothing to me etc, etc.  I felt very humiliated and very angry and hurt.

Everytime I get upset I say to myself "bad things happen to good people", and I also think about the awful things that are happening around me and just be thankful that things aren't really that bad for me in reality.  My friend has just been diagnosed with herpes...I'm lucky...I didn't catch anything from my ex.  My neighbour had a really bad car accident and his friend that was in the accident with him committed suicide afterwards...I feel lucky that my problems aren't that big.  There are always people doing it worse and I know that perhaps that's not what you want to hear, but it helps me to think this way, and perhaps it may help you.

You will get through this and I fully believe that if you give life a chance, good things will happen to you.  But you have to accept what has happened and make it possible for good things to come your way.

Good luck.  Keep ya p****r up!

Answer 4

Oh honey, it takes a long time to heal after something like this!  You have been living your life with a pig who cannot appreciate good when he has it. It isn't about you. It's about him. He is sick and twisted.  You will see some day that tonight is the very best thing that ever happened to you and your daughter. Right now it doesn't feel like it, but take it from me, this is a blessing. You are free.  Free!  Tell yourself that you are now free and you can heal.  It will hurt, but hurt is okay. Do not be afraid to mourn and feel the pain. That is how you heal.  Now you and your child can heal and do things your way and how you like it. You can do it.  You can find love again!!  This is the beginning of your new life.  Cry as much as you need to, but this is the start of your GOOD.  Old dreams die tonight. New dreams follow!

Answer 5

no, but you will be ok!! What a jerk, I am sooo sorry!! I am here if you need to chat... k??  You are probably crying cause you till care about him, your hurt, for your daughter, but it will get better and you know that you will be better off without him.  

Answer 6

He doesn't deserve you. Perhaps fearing the unknown, the next day or the future is what makes you cry. Or perhaps the relief that this day has come.

Look at your daughter and tell yourself that you will do anything for her happiness and yours. Thank goodness you didn't have to prolong this misery. Move ahead and heave a huge sigh of relief. Breathe in all the goodness that is yours now. Best wishes and lots of luck.

His loss.  

Answer 7

This was the final step and it hit you. Understandable despite the pre-steps and the fact that he sounds like a total d**k. So go ahead and cry your tears and then buck up and make a good life for you and your baby. It will be all right, but you have to work to make it so.

Answer 8

the best thing is to forget him and find support from your relatives, maybe even try going on a date with someone else, but definatly think what's good for youre child too.

Answer 9

I think it's because while you were used to the idea of him moving out you couldn't really prepare for what it will actually be like when he's gone. Because before you still had him around.

My sister's going through something similar at the moment. She and her husband have been emotionally separated for about 2 years and she got so used to living in that situation it didn't bother her. Now they've started looking for their own places to live and she's devastated. You'll get through this though, time heals all wounds and you sound like you deserve better.

Stay strong!

Answer 10

my hub has moved out tonight, we were seperated under same roof,why am i crying?

          answer= what a sad situation ,a cruel guy,do not rush to anything,take time, you are hurting too much right now,find something good for you and your daughter,once you find something good ,you will be at peace,take this entire situation ,one day at a time,god bless,if you have faith in god ,pray and ask god's help.

               source=my husband was cruel,had women ,had nothing to do with our lives,our home,had no love for his only son,but life goes on,he died 14 months ago ,and took all his evil with him,i have no tears for him,stop crying ,be careful ,do not date too soon,life is cruel,god bless you and your daughter,move on to as better life with cautious.do not make the same mistake again,yes i have been through this,i married a cruel man,who thinks only of himself,dry your tears and move to a better life with cautious.

Answer 11

Awww im so sorry for you and your little girl. He sounds like a jerk. I wouldnt mind getting my hands on him. I cant imagine a father doing that to his own little girl not caring about her feelings and her needs. What a jerk. Honestly you really dont need him. The sooner you get over that a$$ the better. Its gonna be tough and heartbreaking but in the end its worth it

Answer 12

It was reality tonight! *hugs* You should move on too. I know its hard but trust me you deserve to be happy again!

Answer 13

you need to talk to your daughter about the situation.

you're processing one more step on the path to separation.

mourning the loss of your marriage, your one time love and lover.

you must grieve and mourn the loss a lot (more than you think)

in different ways.  you need to do what you can to set up visits between him and your daughter, for her long term well being.  

kids need to be connected to their parents, so work on that.

as for yourself, warm bath, hot tea, yoga classes, hanging out with friends.  journaling.  you must go through this.  it's not over yet.

probably you will cry again at several points - divorce papers filed, divorce papers signed, and other milestones remind us of what we have lost as we experience change.  there are things to be gained as well, so look for them too along the path.

Answer 14

iv never been through this, but maybe your crying out of relief. or maybe  you feel alone.

Answer 15

TIME IS THE SOLUTION.

Take care.