My hubby and I are fighting alot lately...?

Question

My husband and I have been together for 7 years (married 1). Recently we have started really getting on each others nerves. It seems that everything we do bothers the other. I love him and he treats me wonderfully, it just seems as though we have lost our "spark". He has elderly parents who live right next door, and lately he has had to stay over there alot. I guess I am not always the most understanding, because I think that his mom takes advantage of his being so close, and makes him feel guilty if he is not there 24/7. I understand he needs to help them, but at the same time it is really hurting our marriage. We are a young couple (25 and 28) and I really hate to see our marriage go down the drain. Anyone have any advice? What can we do to get our "spark" back? (No rose petals and hot wax suggestions please...I don't need sexual advice...lol)

Answer 1

I think that the problem is that he took you for granted and that caused you to feel lonely, like he is not paying atention to you anymore. I had the same problem with my wife (I was 27 and she was 23).

He needs to realize that venthough your heart is his, he still needs to win you, he has to be more romantic and creative. Tell him to read this:

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Dude you need to send her flowers, take her on romantic get ways, be there for her. Rub her back, give her massages, compliment her a lot, tell her much you love her and that she is your world. Make him little thoughfull gifts that will tell her that you where thinking of her. Leave kinky and romantic notes all over the house, be more creative.

I stopped being that man for my ex wife and I lost her, it is not eneoough to treat them right and claim that we love them. You really have to show it to her everyday. Now I know a little too late, but you can still save your marriage.

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Answer 2

Interesting...well it honestly sounds like you guys are in the stages of getting used to one another, meaning living together, being in each other's space. The fact that his parents live so close I realize it isn't helping the situation. He's using them now as a "way out" for some air. I think you guys should just sit down and talk. Talk everything out and see what he says and that let him know you realize it's an adjustment for the both of you, but him running to his parents isn't going to help.  

Answer 3

he's stressed out and you are making it worse by making him feel guilty about taking care of his parents.  do yourselves both a favor and focus on what, specifically, you can do to make his life easier.  it might be as simple as making sure the coffee pot is on in the morning and have his lunch packed and ready to go.  it might be filling up his gas tank at the station.  it might be just leaving him "alone" once in a while (you go shopping or something that you find fun and let him veg out in front of the tv).  bring him his favorite beverage (on ice) without him asking for it.  rub his back when he comes to bed to relieve some of his stress and re-connect with him.  and just paste a smile on your face and don't ever ever complain about his mom & dad.  you are lucky to have a responsible caring guy.  he's just trying to keep everyone happy here, and it's way too much for one person to handle.

remember, this time will eventually pass.  find a nice tv series to watch or get netflix or something to do when he's over there, and have something homecooked that he can microwave when he gets home.

he needs support now.