My husband, me and our cat.?

Question

My husband and I have a 2 year old neutered male cat who is the source of constant arguing between my husband and me. I want our cat to be an indoors only cat because my fears of him getting hit by a car (we live in town on a semi busy street and no offense to my cat but he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed), into a fight with another animal, rabies, fleas, etc. My husband on the other hand thinks it is not natural for a cat to be cooped up indoors all day and lets him out whenever he stands by the door. I've tried talking to my husband about this but he doesn't really care about how I feel and stated that he'll let him out whenever he feels like it. I don't know what I can do or say to convince him to leave the cat inside. I've tried everything I can think of to which he argues that he had an outdoor cat growing up and nothing ever happened to her. I am tired of fighting over it but I adore my cat too much to see him get hurt. Any advice?

Answer 1

Your cat is ABSOLUTELY SAFER indoors.  

Most of my cats have been indoor/outdoor cats.

I believe that letting your cat out is good though because an indoor only cat would not know it's yard.... neighborhood if it stayed indoor all the time.  It becomes terrified if ever let outdoors... so your cat at least will know something of your yard / neighborhood.

Like they say Pick your battles.... if this is something he (husband)  won't change no matter what then at least let him (cat)  out the door farthest away from the street. (or possibly the husb too! lol)

Or suggest making a screened in room that the cat can go into. (IF your husb will build it)

It is really hard to convince your husband of the dangers if his mind is made up...  If you know of other animals that have been hurt or killed on your street try to give him that evidence.

Other than that just make sure your cat has all his shots ... is neutered... and hope for the best.  

Answer 2

Talk to your husband and be very serious about t and just tell him how you want your cat to be safe but do it quick cause once you keep letting a cat out it starts to love the outdoors and might not come back.

Answer 3

sorry but there is a deeper control issue going on here. you said yourself that he doesn't care how you feel about it and he is going to do what he wants anyways "he knows what's best" right? Sounds harsh but get rid of the husband. He does not respect your feelings or wants at all, and not just on this very important issue. If he lets your kitty out and it gets killed, how are you going to feel towards your husband?

Domestic cats belong indoors. My parents always thought the same as your husband and always let our cats out.... none of our cats lived past the age of 3 years old. Now that I am an adult I keep all of my cats indoors and have had some that lived in to their 20s.

Answer 4

Well first of all you're very right about all those things it's very dangerous for cats to be outside unsupervised so what you should do is open up the window if it has a screen and let it get its are and sunshine from there, whenever your cat wants to go outside you need to be out with him to supervise him you should probably get a leash and harness for your kitty but one of those adjustable length leashes also about the fleas i suggest you call an exterminator and bomb the backyard for any unwanted pests and put frontline (a flea medication) on your cat also get things that make your cat unbored and have a more fun environment when he cant go outside. Like cat toys, cat grass, scratching post, give the kitty more love and just things that will make it happy. I know it may seem like a lot but if you love your kitty and this bothers you so much then this is whats best :) Good Luck.

Answer 5

I have 2 indoor cats...the only time they are out is to go on the deck whenever I'm there.  A vet can tell you that an indoor cat lives a longer and healthier life.  They don't get fleas (which can infest your house), don't get exposed to parvo and other outdoor diseases pets get.  They don't get into poisons or tainted food put out by people either by accident or to purposely kill wandering animals.  Your husband is acting like a jerk.  If he doesn't care about YOUR feelings...he most certainly won't care about a pet.

Answer 6

I can understand your concern.  I have had both indoor and outdoor cats through out my life.  My cats that lived outside/inside lived maybe 5 years.  One hit by a car and the other to an illness.  My cats that have been inside only have lived much longer.  Two are with my mom (i got them as a teenager and couldn't take to college). They are 16 and 14 years this year and still fairly active.  I can only speak from my experience, but I believe that my indoor cats were just as happy if not happier because they got more attention being inside only.  I hope that your husband comes around to what will make you happy.

Answer 7

Yeah, that's men for you! They think they can do as they wish! Your cat is much safer inside. Seems your husband doesn't have much compassion for what you are feeling. If he really cared about your emotions, he would see how sad this issue is making you. I wouldn't try and talk him out of it, looks like his mind is made up! I would make it perfectly clear to him that under no circumstances, he is to let the cat outside! We are not in Irak here, don't let men control you like that! You can make your own decisions!

Answer 8

you should let your cat outside. it needs the exercise and it can be a fun experience for cat's to be outside. and don't worry about the cat being hurt. that cat loves you and he won't run away. and you should trust your neighbors that are driving on the street. they know how to use brakes  

Answer 9

I agree with you that cats are safer indoors.  I had an indoor/outdoor cat about 10 years ago, and she got hit by a car.  I was living in an upstairs condo.  She broke both her hip and leg, and I am guessing whomever hit her dropped her on my doorstep because she had an ID tag on.  The vet said that there was no way should could have gotten up the stairs on her own, and that is where she was laying when I came out in the morning.

I took her to the vet.  Her leg was broken, her hip was broken, she had a  huge gash on the top of her head, and her other back leg that wasn't broken  had most all the skin worn off of one side.  She spent about 3 days at the Veterinarian hospital before she passed away.

I had to learn the hard way about keeping cats indoors.  It doesn't hurt than at all to be indoors.  They can run around and play inside and just be happy.  All my kitties since her can attest to that. :)

I hope you can convince your hubby.  Is there a reason he lets him out?  Is the kitty getting into trouble in the house?

Answer 10

No one here can solve your problem. There are those who believe as you and those that believe as your husband does. Doesn't matter if more believe one way or another. I am also assuming you got the cat together so there really is no right of ownership as an individual. Sorry

Answer 11

I see you have a problem here. Suggest to your husband the cat can  go outside on a leash if someone is walking him. I'm happy to say neutered males don't go out looking for a fight like a unneutered cat would. If he has his rabies shot, he will not get rabies. Hope you can come to an agreement on this subject.  

Answer 12

I know how you feel.  My cat was hit by a car and since then I've always been worried.  The cat that we got as a kitten shortly after we actually leash trained.  He would come into the back yard with us and he'd stay on the leash.  The cat will struggle at first.  But at long as you make it tight enough so that when the cat flips out he can't escape he'll get the idea.  Your cat may like this after the initial struggle.

Does your cat show interest in going outside?  

Flash forward two years.  I moved out of my parents home and now my dad lets the cat outside.  He loves it, but I still worry.  

If you live near a busy highway then I agree with you that you shouldn't let the cat out.  However, if you live in a neighbourhood with streets that aren't too busy then I'd say the risks far outweigh the benefits of the outdoor life your cat could have.  The chances your cat would be hit by a car are low.

When my cat was hit--it was awful.  But I think about how he probably crossed the street every night...and he just timed it wrong that one night.  Or no one saw him, or it was too late.  Still, I know he was a happy cat and loved being outside.  

Answer 13

Your husband is right.  Cats, even the dumb ones stay out of the street, and that fact that you husband is letting the cat out tells me that the cat is doing fine.  The biggest concern you actually have is that your cat can get fleas or might get into the neighbors garbage.  I would suggest that you keep your cat in at night as this is when cats tend to get into the most trouble and keep a sharp eye out for fleas.

Answer 14

I can understand your issue here but I'm afraid I am an indoor/outdoor cat owner as I believe they should be allowed outside.

If this is a serious serious concern e.g. you honestly believe your cats life is in danger and there are serious risks rather than just been over-cautious, then you need to sit your husband down and explain all your issues with letting your cat outdoors. Maybe at first you can limit his outdoor access and gradually reduce it down.

All my cats have always been indoor.outdoor cats and my eldest at the minute is 17 and still happily goes outside, we are on a bus route but they have all learnt to stay out of the road. Your male may find it difficult adjusting to been an indoor only cat after been allowed outdoors.

Good luck!

Answer 15

Sounds like you have a different problem than your cat.  Your husband comes out sounding like a jerk in this story.  It's the internet and I'm sure things get a little skewed, but if he really cares about you he would consider your feelings about the cat.  You've said you have talked to him, but since he's not listening, I'm sorry to say, but maybe you have to work on other issues than whether to keep your cat inside or not.  (There's stories both ways about what is better, but I'm with you and would rather the cat be inside and safe where I know for a fact he won't get hurt.)  I'm sorry if my response sounds mean and I hope I am wrong, but really, if he truly cares he should consider how you feel and keep the cat inside.  Or at least compromise.  They have outside "kennel" things for cats in pet stores.  It lets them be contained, but outside at the same time.  

Once again, I hope your version of the story just sounded that way, but I am sorry if my advice is taken the wrong way.  Good luck with everything!

On a lighter side, if all else fails, cry a little when you talk to him! lol

PS I like the purrfectfence idea.  My friend is currently putting one up for her outside cats.  Don't know how well it works yet though.

Answer 16

Your not going to like my answer, lol, but this is my advice. :-)

You know the cat should not be let outside, and you know the reasons why, and you have alot of support, from the majority of the people on here.

My concern is your husband does not seem to care about what you think, or your feelings, even when you have presented valid evidence.

Don't know how long you have been married, but it will only get worse.  My advice is to get into counseling now, if he wants to, which he won't, or start thinking about getting a divorce. And if you should ever get to the point, where you feel you need to leave now, alot of womens shelters do take in pets, and/or work with shelters that will take in your pets, they are still your pets, they don't try to take them from you, they just stay there.  I have the info if you feel you should ever need it, and wanted you and other women to know, you do have a choice, and don't need to lose your pet.

Best of luck and I hope this all works out for you.  :-) :-) :-)  

Answer 17

The average lifespan of an outdoor cat is only 3 years, while an indoor cat can live to be well over 17. This is the argument I always use to convince people to keep their cats inside, and it's pretty convincing. Everyone else has already covered the numerous other issues with keeping your cat outside.

Good luck convincing your husband!

Your cat will thank you :)

Answer 18

hi, my advice to you is, divorce your husband, any man that tries to come between a women and her cat isn't worth keeping,I'm sure if you do this he will soon be thinking the same as you concerning your cat, there is nothing wrong with keeing a cat inside,men just have to find fault with everything,   my husband was the same, my cat now sleeps in the bed with me and my husband sleeps god knows where,,,good luck

Answer 19

You are absolutely right that your cat will lead a healthier, safer, longer life staying indoors. For mine they grew up indoors but we do let them out a few afternoons a week into our fenced yard and only under supervision. If your husband refuses to keep him inside how about a cat fence? Purrfect fence makes a product that cats cannot escape so he can get his exercise and outdoorsiness but not come into direct contact with anything other than what is in your yard. Stick to your guns with the hubby he should be willing to respect your opinion on this matter especially as it is the advice of most vets, humane societies, rescuers and breeders.