My husband's family, neither of us like them, do they get invited?

Question

okay my husband (we're already married but haven't had a ceremony) and I have been together for almost 11 years (high school sweethearts) and we're planning in having a ceremony that I care A LOT about in two or three years. So we have a lot of history and we have a lot of history with each other's families. However, the only person from his family I want to come to the wedding is his father. Everyone else in his family is a drunkard, a pill popper, an alcoholic, a liar, and they all bring drama with them. Do we have to invite them to our special day? How do we handle it if we invite his dysfunctional aunt (his dad's sister) and his uncle and cousin (father and son) and then his crazy disgusting cousin shows up (who hit on my husband when she got out of prison). I don't want any of them to be there b/c I have bad memories of all of them (his pill popping uncle embarrassed me in front of a diner full of people when I was working for him, his cousin told lies about his sexual preferences, his aunt is just a drunken drama queen). so do I have to invite them? our families are very different...

Answer 1

That depends. You should invite them if you plan to reconcile your differences. Not inviting them will cause some trouble, no doubt about that. But if you could care less, do what you feel is right for the two of you and nobody else.  

Answer 2

If you don't care about your relationship in the future (and it sounds like you don't), leave them off the guest list.  They sound like overly dramatic people with no boundaries -- gross.  

Hope your wedding is otherwise lovely!

Answer 3

If you don't invite them, they'll always have something to blame you for.

Answer 4

Of cours you invite them. you dont wanna start a feud

Answer 5

no way do not invite them they will ruin everything and embarrass you both  

Answer 6

if you dont feel to invite them, dont do it. It should be an special day. If they blame for not invite them but it will be happier without them

Answer 7

Do your part as the civil person and invite them. If they don't show up then they look bad not you. Is these sticky situations you always want to cover yourself.

Answer 8

It's entirely his decision you need to stay out o it and only support what he decides,

These things have a way of backfiring in 10 years, so just be the wonderful widfe you have been for the last 11 years and trust him to make the right decision.

Be classy! ;o)

Answer 9

It sounds like you've got ample reasons not to want these people at your special day. They certainly don't seem to be the type I'd want to celebrate with! Unfortunately it also looks like you'll have drama whatever you do. If you don't invite them then they'll be a huge row, they probably won't ever forget it, and a good chance that they show up anyway just to spite you. If you do ask them to come, then it's quite possible the police might have to come break up a brawl. Ultimately it's you and your fiance's decision weather or not you invite them. Sit down together and discuss the pros's and con's and make the best decision you can. Although I've got to tell you, from the sound of things, I wouldn't invite them! At least that way if they do show up someone can call the police and have them quietly and forcefully removed if necessary.

This sounds like a bad situation and I'm sorry you're stuck in it. Good luck!

Answer 10

It's his family so he should get the say on whether they are invited or not. If he wants to invite them, I suggest seating them away from other guests that you think they might offend. If he doesn't want them there then it's up to him to answer any questions they have about not getting an invite. By leaving it up to him you won't get blamed for years to come.

Answer 11

it's up to the 2 of you. if he feels the same way then theres no problem. if u want you could always tell tell them you sent the invatation it might of gotten lost in the mail

Answer 12

What you need to do is cut your guest list down to 1/10 since it's not like a wedding at the beginning of your marriage you have alot more freedom. Have just a few of your closest friends and family and go to a really nice bed a breakfast somewhere or do the mountain cabin wedding another person asking a question recently was asking about. That way - they can't be offended because you simply had to keep it small in order to afford to do the idea. Yeah - I know - I invited alot of people like that to my wedding and guess what - none of them showed up!

Answer 13

To the wedding - yes.

To a reception or other gathering - no.

Answer 14

This is your day. Invite who you want.  Just know that there will be drama either way - whether they're invited & come or if you don't invite them at all.  You just have to decide which will have the least amount of stress and drama for you & your husband.

Answer 15

Dear God No!!  Life is too short, even for the ordinary everyday c**p we have to put up with.  This is a special day for you.  Keep the c**p away!  Good luck, I feel for you.