My husband abuses me and beats me up and then acts innocent and apologises at times also threatens divorce?

Question

He has very bad temper and is over aggressive pushing me to the floor. Please let me know how to overcome this.

Answer 1

Please, Please, Please, go to counseling and get strong and leave him. His apologies aren't real. He needs anger management. There is no reason to him or push or slap you. You are worth more than that. Only a coward would hurt a woman he claims to love,,,,or marry...you go get the divorce and let his *** sit by himself or please call an abuse hot line or the police, get rid of him. I know how this goes, I've been there. Its not easy I know but he is just not the man you want by your side. He can't love you, hurt you, lie to you, and disrespect you all in the same lifetime. Its wrong.....please save who you are, I believe you know the answer to that

Answer 2

Coming from an abusive relationship of 14 years and 2 children later I have to tell you the only way to overcome this is to leave. Trust me I know it is not the easiest thing to do but you have to be strong and do it. I met him when i was 14 i knew nothing else for sure. But then i saw one of those adds in Planned parent hood asking if you were in an abuse relation, if so please call......There are plenty of Battered women shelters out there that can provide support and assistance (Counseling, legal, financial and housing) and trust me they are GREAT! With out them and the support of my family I would probably still be sitting there taking all his abuse. They helped me out tramendously with counseling (and my children), filing a restraining order along with representing me with my divorce and all for FREE!!!  

Answer 3

I very sorry for your situation. I think that still you love him despite his bad behaving that `s why you did not leave him. You did not write what made him so angry with you. Talk to him,that you love him and suffer because his treating you. Ask him what a solution he sees.

Ask him what you should change in your baheviour to make him peacefull.

Tell him that you are very tired because of his bad baheviour and now you start really think about leaving him.

May go for few days to stay with your friends or family,the maybe he will think a little. If nothing will change,better leave him. How long can you bother that situation? You have right to have a happy life also. I wish you that also.

Answer 4

Well, do you love him? If you hate what he does, then just leave him. If you stay with him, you may be seriously injured in the future.

Answer 5

Pls understand him also what he want's . A husband hit's his wife when the person is not mentally normal(means a husband is also working outside and tension of earning money , about his family , home . Try to understand him . if He can't than pls go ahead .  

Answer 6

Just Leave him, you have to do something regarding this, how come you are tolerating all this , tell everything to your family , I am sure they will support you, husband and wife relation is based on understanding, love and respecting each other in every sense,,and I thing he lacks all these..leave him and sure youwill find someone who will treasure you..

Answer 7

Im in the same position as you are. He threatens divorce beats me than picks at everything i done.. He said today that i want to see that washer and dryer going all day, and this house better never get dirty.. Seriously i clean non stop all day even with a 4 month old baby this hosue is spotless... I know its hard to leave, unless someones in our permission tey dont understand that it is scary thinking about being on your own again.. Get him help.. If it doesnt work than you will get the courage to leave. It willbe no problem for you i promise.. You will eventually get fed up.. Me and my husband are still trying to work on his anger problem.. now that im actually writing this i feel like an idiot... I wish i could leave.. But i have no family  

Answer 8

Leave him he will eventually kill you get rid of him if you have kids get your kids out of that situation if no kids he will still do it when you have them and start on them. Get out don't take it you can do it. Don't say you can't there are way too many shelters and abused woman councils in the world that will help you. God Luck.

J

Answer 9

Leave him and send him out of your life.

No proper/good  husband will beat their wife for any reason

I know it is not easy because my life is similar to Yours.

My husband also has the same attitude...I sufffered for 20 mths and now I have applied for divorce.

I too loved my husband truly and expected him to love me ... and failed in that..  

but friend, it is not possible to make these kind of men to  understand our love...

Better is to stay away...  

Answer 10

I understand women are very much emotionally attached to their husbands and find it difficult to leave.

When he threatens you with divorce it means the relationship doesnot mean much to him

you dont hurt a person you love. try to accept the fact that he doesnt care for you as you do .Dont feel insecure about leaving him. You are on the right and God will help you out

Answer 11

call the police and make a report.. you may need to have them present so you can leave.. you do not deserve that.. you have to show him you are serious.. you need to gain control of your life... he has control now...

Answer 12

Leave home when he is not in. Then ring the police and tell them where he lives and then get a divorce from him.  

Answer 13

Sometimes what  is seen  in action  is not there really. He may be behaving like this only because of some unavoidable circumstances. I mean may be  due to some fraustraton or  losses  recently. Try to find out the exact reason before taking any decision. You shall have to play a simple and wisy role to maintain the longevity of your relationship. And if  the reason is something else, then  make him understand that  this is not the way  we are living and alternatively it will   kill the peace & discipline of the family. You have to behave  like a good wife, may be  there is a change in his behaviour. If he really loves you then  he will change his attitude towards you. But compromising to some extent is good. And if you feel that there is no change then I shall say consult with your seniors and take help of them for right decision what shall best for both of you and for your children, if any.

Answer 14

I commiserate with your predicament and ordeal that you have to put up with a man who has unruly tempers.  But before I say further, I tell you that you will require to keep inexhaustible patience with him because I know how difficult it is to deal with such a person.  But let me bare one fact about myself that I was more or less like your husband.  But of late I had known my problem.  I was too much stressed with financial problem especially when it came to weighing equal justice between parents and wife without tilting the scale to either side.  I do used to feel torn between them and yet  they both felt that I was partial to the other side but they could never realize how much my soul and mind were shredded into pieces. As a result, I used to let off steam of my all pent up stress upon my wife.  Down the centuries, wife is perhaps destined to bear the brunt of her husband's outburst.   However the women of today be ahead of men, men still reign supreme over the women folk.  But with due regards to you women, I admit that we men are not tenacious enough to bear even half of you do.  But now since the time realization has dawned on me, I have miraculously come round.  I tried to mend my fences so that I could ease the wounds I had inflicted on her heart. Hats off to my wife that she tolerated me no end but her patience has paid off.  Now my heart still sores badly when I recollect how much I have troubled her in the past.  I still apologize her, always end up profusely.  I do not know how much psychologically she understands my problems but I only know that she has shown indomitable patience to at last put this inhuman person to shame of his unruly behaviour and eventually become a gentleman.  I have no clue as what to suggest you to do except keeping patience like my wife did. I am sure,  God will surely look at you and similar things will miraculously transpire to you as did to me.   And surely peace and love prevail between you for ever.  

Answer 15

OMG,WTF?Why are you staying with someone like that!?! You don't deserve to be treated like that.No one does.Call the cops,press charges,file 4 divorce and don't ever let ANYONE be like that 2 you again!

Answer 16

The problem is the wrong person is threatening divorce.  You are in an abusive relationship and you need to get out of it now.

Answer 17

No disrespect but u are dumb to even stay with him, that's not a questions u should ask that's just plain common sense u should never let a man put his hands on u that's a punk move what a puss, sorry but the first time a guy laid hands on me shoot i made sure that would b the last. . .forget everything else get a divorce and make sure u call the cops. this time it will b pushing u on the floor next it will b choking u till u cant breath and i don't want to c after. . .plus ur asking for it if u stay and if children are involved u need to leave ASAP! the excuse of staying for the children is not good it only hurts them the most in the end. . . find a shelter if u can but leave before its too late!!!!

Answer 18

pinkie... are you financially independant?? or culd you take up a job?? if you can then next time he threatens to divorce throw d**n divorce papers on his mouth... and get him arrested for all this abuse... you are not worth this idiot man.. get out.. seek help lady... and there are many women suffering like you.. become a source of inspiration for them too... you are here for that

Answer 19

Threatening to divorcee is blackmailing, he is abusive and violent, next time  he beats you call police...believe it or not my wife did tried to get violent, tried to hit me with broom and herself and her two sisters and mother does threatened me to get divorcee..but just b'case of kids i am holding back....it's call emotional BLACKMAILING  

Answer 20

you should alert the authorities or divorce him immediately you cant overcome a man with a bad temper if you really do wish to stay with him get marriage counseling if you cant afford it call it quits or try to talk it out. i really truly wish you the best. god bless and good luck

Answer 21

Domestic Violence in a CRIME!

you have all the rights to......Call The cops, get him jailed, get a divorce and remarry if you want to!

Answer 22

Contact the police, divorce him, and let him know you're strong enough to stand up to him.

Answer 23

GET OUT NOW!!! Staying with an abusive partner is a common problem most women and some men have... if he has the power to control you/hurt you.... he has the power to kill you.  

Answer 24

Overcome?

h**l no - move out, and move out now.

You should be pursuing a divorce.

No real " man " hits his wife, and that is the end to it.

Answer 25

He has no right to abuse you! If he does this, and if he threatens a divorce, it could be serious! If he is really that aggressive, then you need to talk to him about this issue, or maybe even get the divorce with him. Think about it: if he will continue to do this, things could get worse. He seems to be threatening you, and I think you need to stay away from him. It could be that he's really stressed out and takes it all on you, but if he does that to an extent where he really abuses you, then you have to stop this. Even if it takes a divorce, it might be worth it.  

Answer 26

ask him to push you to the floor gently.  

and make sure you have well padded carpeting.  hitting a fine wood floor made of say, danish beech,  can really sting, but a half inch pad underneath wall to wall carpet made of, say,  frizee looped blend,  will probably blunt the worst of the pain.

Answer 27

You should get away from him as fast as you can. He seems to have mental health issues. You can get help from Woman Against Abuse

Don't continue to take this abuse. The beatings will get worse as long as you stay. Get Out Now

Answer 28

Just leave him..

Answer 29

Do not tolerate ; act Immediatly.

Report and consult his misbehaviour with his real friend.

Find cause for his misbehaviour : The real remady lies there.

Answer 30

You find a safe place to live and go to the police department and tell them everything about your husband (get a restraining order against him while you're at it). Then get a divorce from him. He will not stop doing this to you, so leave- you deserve better!