My husband and I are divorcing (his choice) and..?

Question

I need help. lol He told me he did not want the responsibility of a baby or our marriage. We were married in a church in April and I had our baby girl June 3. He has never seen or held her since he is in the Navy. He got home thursday and friday asked me for the divorce. He got home late thursday and went right to sleep and friday asked for the divorce. He now tells people that I am taking our daughter from him and that he does want her. I think its just an act.. but oh well. Now, my question is.. In our divorce I want to take sole custody and limited visitation.. Would I be able to do this since he has never physically harmed her or me? He has told me more than once that he does not want to see her and has had many chances. Im taking him for child support and alimony and whatever else. While he was away in the navy he cheated on me, and yes I have proof. What could I do?

Answer 1

well you need a lawyer. unfortunately if you are asking for child support he can see her. if you want him out for good, you need to have him sign his rights away as her dad. for spousal suppport they go by each year you were married. you may get little to nothing being its been such a short time. i am sure sorry this has happened to you, i know its hard, i hope you have a great family and friends to help you through

Answer 2

Let him leave get child support.  The Navy will make sure it is taken out of his check.  Make sure and get a lawyer see if you can get legal counsel from someone with military knowledge

Answer 3

Try recording it next time he says it maybe? It may not help at all but it may at the same time! Take anything that you could possibly use to help you out and try speaking to a lawyer or someone you know regarding what your chances are of gaining full custody.

The fact that he is in the navy and would travel a lot would also be a benefit on you and the fact that you have mostly been raising your baby girl alone while he's been away would benefit you and in general they always have a soft spot for the mother so I think you have a pretty good chance of gaining full custody of your daughter.

Good Luck and I hope you find a great guy one day and gain custody of your baby girl!

Answer 4

If he's active duty-he can't have sole custody, and he would have to prove you unfit and prove he'd have a proxy to take care of her while he was deployed. But since you've been taking care of her, it shouldn't be a problem-the courts rarely take children away from their mothers.

The cheating thing, will only help in the divorce, not custody. Now, he can also be brought up on criminal charges in the military. It's against military law to commit infidelity. But you have to have GOOD proof, not just hear say. Best of luck to you and your baby!

Answer 5

Make sure you document your husbands desire not to see your child.  Keep a journal and talk with a lawyer.  Good luck.  Any witnesses would be helpful as well.

Answer 6

get the divorce, you will get custody. also -- this is critical -- make sure you get him to pay child support til that kid is 18. ITS THE LAW. he enjoyed making that baby now he has to pay.  

Answer 7

I heard that when your in the Navy while married and if you cheat on your spouse the Navy will make you call your wife & explain it to her then give you both marriage counseling.  

Anyhow the problem at hand is something no one here can tell you.  You need to find all that out with the state that you live in. Most states say that all you need to do is file for sole custody first & your granted.  This will obviously land in court.  You & he should take an attempt to resolve this yourselves & not let someone who you don't know make the final decision about your child.  You both need to have a mature, serious talk for your child.  That means don't go yelling at him because that wont help, that will make him want your child more.  He may only be giving you a fight for this because of your mouth & what is coming out of it.  I know how you feel believe me, you are fighting for your daughter; that can be loud & dangerous.  Can you be smart & calm for her now?  The choices you make now will reflect on her life later.  Be wise.

Answer 8

What can you do?  Not much.  You can't make someone love you, and unfortunately, you and he opted to plop a baby into your unstable relationship... kids aren't bonding, hon, they are divisive, and if your marriage was shaky before, kids will destroy it... as has happened here.

You certainly can get sole custody... he appears to be uninterested.... and all he needs to do is sign off on her.  Likely you can still get some child support,  tho don't expect alimony for very long, if at all......because  men who never wished to parent in the first place often become deadbeat dads, never supporting those kids.  And to then go after him legally, become expensive.  All of this is common in children not planned.... not REALLY planned.

You write well, so if you are not back in school, start soon... so that you qualify for some job that has more to it than, "Do you want fries with that?"

Cheaters never change much,  But I'm confused.... why would you go on ahead and produce a child with a cheater?

Answer 9

It sounds like your husband don't know what he want.  At one point he wanted marriage, then you got pregnant, you had the child. Home late on Thursday & Friday then asked for a divorce. WOW! GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS! Apparently he was unfaithful to you then, it's a slight chance that he maybe unfaithful to you now!  The only thing about it is I personally feel that you shouldn't limit the visitation, because if he really isn't interested in HIS family, eventually he'll fade out of the picture. You should never place a child in the middle of your anguish, believe me it would bite you back later on.

Answer 10

wow ya married by church this is so sad! that is why i hate when my husband is gone for 6 months because those months they can do what ever they want! anyways just filed a divorce and proof that he cheated on you and find as many people that can testify against him! and you will get everything you are asking for in here! good luck sweetie!

Answer 11

You need a good attorney.

I agree with you, I think he's just telling people what he thinks they want to hear when he says you're taking your daughter from him.  Don't buy into it!

Good luck!!  

Answer 12

Check you local family law in the public library. You did not mention what state you live in & the laws vary greatly from state to state Example ( in Texas is you live 100 or more mile apart the NCP is entitled to see the child/children 1 weekend a month , 1 week during the summer & a rotating  Thanksgiving/ Christmas schedule. ) A Judge will normally allow any reasonable request that both parents agree upon. If you can afford a lawyer hire 1 asap. If not you will need to do a lot of research for a divorce  done pro se:  

Answer 13

Get a lawyer...

Answer 14

In honestly, you really could s***w him since the military doesn't play around with cheating and such.  But in all reality, how much do you want to be tied into this?  It is only going to drag it on for you and your daughter.  Most definably get the child support and benefits for your baby, and alimony if they will give it to you (sometimes you have to be married for a certain amount of time).  But be careful not to get so involved with revenge that it takes you over...not a good place to be.  If you need to, go to the counseling (military one has some good ones).  And let him have the option of seeing her...if he doesn't, it'll only come back to bite him in the butt.

Good luck and keep your head up.  You never know how things will turn out.

Answer 15

Did you know that 25% of children living in the US are living with single parents now? 25%! Amazing, isn't it?  Men abandoning their families is becoming a growing phenomenon.  Some experts tend to believe it's in reaction to the feminist movement.  No room for daddy anymore, sisters are doing it all on their own.  Whatever the case, I highly doubt he will fight you for custody. He MAY petition the court for visitation rights, but I also doubt he'll exercise them.  Welcome to the growing world of single motherhood.