My husband and I are interested in adopting.?

Question

I have a friend that I have known for more than 20 years. She called me the other day to let me kow that she had a friend who is having a baby and has decided to give the baby up for adoption. My friend has told her all about us and and that we have been trying years to have our own and she was interested in meeting us. I was called today because she is going through a nonprofit organization in the state she lives in and giving them our information so we are able to adopt. I was informed that since we both live in 2 different states she may not be able to choose the parents and the cost could be $20,000-$30,000. My husband and I would agree to a open adoption since this person is friends with my childhood friend. So my question would be; The average cost of an open possibly pre-arranged adoption? Or would there be an oragnization that would assist us with the cost of this adoption? I live in IL and the birthmother lives in WI. The birthmother is due in a few months.

Thank you.

Answer 1

She hasn't even given birth yet.  She isn't "The birthmother", she is this baby's MOTHER.  She hasn't signed anything yet.

Answer 2

I gave my son up for adoption and the couple at the time of the pregnancy lived in houston texas. Well just a month before I had him, the new dad got relocated in Ohio. They kept Nicholas in houston for a few weeks when they got the go ahead they moved up there and had a social worker there.

After a year and a half they moved back to houston.

If you do adopt please keep in contact with the birth mother. It makes it so much easier to handle. I see how happy they are and how happy he is.

good luck, your doing a wonderful thing! If I could have another baby for someone that couldn't conceive, I would in a heartbeat!

Answer 3

I am so sorry that you are being attacked for your question.  That is not what Y!A is for.  

Our situation was very similar to yours.  Friends knew we were looking to adopt and they knew someone who was looking to make an adoption plan for a child.  They put us in touch and we adopted the child.  Our son was born in NJ and we were in PA.  We originally were going to use lawyers to do a private adoption but because the NJ foster care system then decided to try and take the child to place into foster care, our lawyers suggested we contact a local adoption agency to do an identified adoption.  We used Adoptions From the Heart.  They charged us about $12,000 for the adoption.  There were other fees too but it ran about $12,000 - $15,000 until we were done.  One of the biggest obstacles you will have is the "interstate compact" which will be where the states need to approve the adoption before you can bring the child home.  This typically takes about 2 weeks or longer.  

I'm wondering why she has chosen a non-profit organization.  She could absolutely proceed with a private adoption to choose you.  You may also want to contact the non-profit organization and see if they will help you with an identified adoption.  

Good luck to you and feel free to email me thru my profile if I can offer any other advice.

Answer 4

Sad the Riella thinks more about infertile couples than her own child - that may one day really dislike being given away.

Pfffttttt.

If you wish to make 100% sure that you are doing the absolute ethical thing - in regards to this child - and his/her mother - please allow her to read this brochure -

http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

It hurts - a great deal - as an adoptee - to be given away by your mother.

If it absolutely does NOT have to happen - it shouldn't.

I'm sorry if you can't have a child of your own - but infant adoption - as it currently stands - is NOT in the best interests of the child or that child's bio mother. (if there is no harm present)

The absolute loving thing - is to help this mother to parent.

Children that absolutely NEED adopting - can be found through foster care - from as young as babies - there are over 100,000 of them currently waiting.