My husband and I fight about childs medication

Question

Ok my son is ADHD. In the morning after medication my son cant hold a conversation because of the ritilan. I think that he does need the medication, but feel that the dose is too high, and my husband feels that the medication is fine. Today i went to the DR and it had it lowered, this caused a fight between us. He is very controlling and always has to have things his way. I am at the point where i am standing up for myself and feel that UI have the right as a mother to have the medication changed if I feel it is too much for my child. So am I being a big ole witch or am I right?

Answer 1

You are absolutely right!  And you are standing up for your child--good for you!  As a special ed teacher who has worked with many children w/ adhd, I understand the importance of working with the dr on this, and most good docs appreciate it, too.  Good parents talked with me about what's going on in school and worked as long as they had to to get the right med w/ the right dose.  Other parents who, in my opinion, seemed not to want to really be parents, allowed their son/daughter to go through the day as a zombie (like you said your son can't hold a conversation).  This is not OK, nor helpful to your son (socially or academically or physically).  Why would you want to give your son more meds than he needs, anyway?  From a teacher's standpoint, I say thank you for taking care of your child.  I really hope your husband will see the light.  GL.

Answer 2

What is your husband so scared of? Why not have his dose lowered and see if he still doing well? The doctor thinks it is a rational choice and worth trying. What is motivating your husband? It is NOT about the medication!

Answer 3

All three of you should go to the Dr. at the same time.  You should both tell the Dr. how your son reacts to the meds.  Go with the Dr.'s opinion.  Get a second and third opinion if you like and make a decision based on that.  

Answer 4

First of all your son is not ADHD...HE HAS ADHD.  Second, you and only you, the parent, have the right to reduce the dosage and refute the medication all together.  You and your husband need to advocate for you child and it would be helpful if you two can come to an agreement, so that you can work together!

Answer 5

Well the Doctor agreed with you. And it is your childs welfare. Never loose sight of that.  

Answer 6

it is not up to your husband it is up to the doctor.  if the dose was to high then it was a problem for the child.

Answer 7

You are right.

Of course, as you know, this issue isn't about your son's medication, but rather about your husband being controlling.  

As you stand up for yourself more and more, you will feel more sure of yourself.

Well done!

Answer 8

I suggest your husband go to the doctor with you and your son.  Maybe the doctor can talk some sense into the guy.

You have every right to stand up to your husband.  I assume you spend most of the time with your son, not your husband, so you need to trust your instincts.  

Answer 9

I say you are right. Tell your husband to stop being a control freak. If the lower dose still isn't helping him then maybe consider another option. Why make the kid incoherent just because of medicine. That's not right. Good for you for stepping up and doing what you thought was right even though your husband disagreed.

Keep it up! Don't let him boss you around if you truly feel strongly about something.

Answer 10

Explain to your husband that having a dosage too high can be damaging but having a lower dosage wont do any harm to your son. Its better to be safe than sorry I must day. And your doctor obviously agreed with you!

Answer 11

I think a mother knows her child better then anyone. I would do what the doctor suggest. Sometimes you have to play with the dosage to find the right one for your child. Of course done with the doctors suggestion.

If i knew he was going to be a jerk about it I probably just wouldn't talk to him about the dosage. Somethings are probably good left unsaid. I don't tell my husband lots of things if i think he is ganna crab abou it. LOL. I never lie to him but, sometimes i just don't say anything.  

Answer 12

you have the right to do what is right for your child. I don't agree putting children on medication for behavioral problems, however if all else has been exhausted then so be it. first of all if you are the one with your child most, then you know his or her patterns, thus you should be the one making the final say. if your husband is the stay at home dad, then he should have the final say. which ever it is, knows your childs habits most, for there around the child nearly most of the day.

Answer 13

I think you are right to a point...If he is so drugged after his meds he either needs a lower dose, or a different medication. My son has PDD-NOS that includes ADHD. He has been on 3-4 different meds over the last 7 years for the ADHD component. He is on 4 meds currently...One for ADHD, one for tics, one to control his rages, and another to help him grow.

A lot of men, my husband included, hate to think that their is a problem with their kids. My husband has to be constantly reminded that my son cannot learn by his dad's mistakes by osmosis...he HAS to be allowed to learn and grow at his own pace. It is great that my husband can connect and understand what my son is going through, but he cannot just expect my 12 year old to inherit the experience that he has had over 26 years time.

You may want to ask your hubby to "give it a week or 2" at the dosage that the doctor lowered the meds to, just to see what happened. I did that with my hubby when I decided to combine doses of my son's meds to control his tics. they generally don't bug me, but they bug the snot out of hubby. In the end it worked well, and the doctor has since started writing the prescription the way I personally adjusted things.

you might also want to ask the doctor about the daytrana patch. other than making his tics worse it worked pretty well for my son. It looks like a nicoderm patch. it goes on their hip in the morning and releases meds all day long. you take it off about 9 hours later, and it wears off in time for bed  

Answer 14

Follow your instincts and let your husband know that just because he thinks he is right does not mean that he gets the final say-so.  Perhaps you should gather some research on the matter that supports your views and ask him to show you his research.  He's got to be able to support his decision/opinion, otherwise it's just "because" and this is too important of an issue to be settled on "just because"

Ask him point blank what makes him think he is so right on this issue and see what kind of answer you get.

Answer 15

you're just being a mother, that's the way you should be thinking, always worrying about your children, in this case your son, which he has a disorder and you have every right to be worried about, if you see side effects or this medication causing harm, then you have every right to stand up and say that it should be reduced, you as a mother has every right to have a say in this, your husband cant be controlling everything because it takes 2, the mother and father to raise a child properly, i suggest you follow your motherly instincts and go with what you believe in, because this is your own child we are talking about, i wish the best for your son, and i hope that all goes well

Answer 16

Follow the doctor's orders and have your husband speak to the doctor if your husband has any questions.

Medicine dosage is something that should NOT be messed around with.

Answer 17

The doctor should be the one to determine what dosage of medication is right for the boy.  Your husband is being manipulative and controling and that leads to emotional and then physical abuse so you'd better stop him in his tracks now.  This is YOUR child as well as your husband's take him to the doctor.

Answer 18

im really sorry im not trying to be mean or anything but kids are smart. they know that when you think they have ADD/ADHD they can take adantadge of you ADD/ADHD are not real kids are smarter than you give us credit for and look at what its doing to your marrige

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