My husband and I have been married for 3 years and together 11 years, his ex called and they are meeting, ????

Question

He says it is something he has to do, or it will drive him crazy and drive us apart, they both need closure, I don't know if the meeting was her idea, or his, I think his mostly, I don't know what to do, I told him not too and he says he is, I don't know what to do, he says they are just going to talk and that he has no desire to be with her, I still feel threatened. Any advice?

Answer 1

You should trust him but i think that's BS about closer you can have closer over the phone and ask him if you can be there with them what do he have to hide.tell him you feel its been three years for you guys and if he thinks having closer is worth hurting you then fine and closer he had all the time and the world for that all they want to do is rehmanis and remember good time and bad and might make out who knows he should respect that you feel uncomfortable with him going.But trust id a big thing but he is asking for to much.He should of never answer her call. he is reaching out to her obviously.I think you need to put your foot down and tell him either you go or it ain't happening don't let him play you because he obviously have feelings for her still that's what He want to go feel and see if they would still have a chance.

Answer 2

they haven't been together in 14 years and he needs closure NOW? sounds strange to me.

Answer 3

you've been married to this guy for 3 years already, and i think that you should trust him.

Answer 4

It's odd that after being with you for 11 years he suddenly needs closure from an ex. And, after being with you for 11 years, not seeing his ex will drive the two of you apart.

I feel you need to watch that husband of yours.

Answer 5

Sorry, he is full of c**p.  He is only going because he thinks something might happen... He might not even know he is thinking this way.

Answer 6

You need to get over it.  You've been with this man for 11 years, and married to him for 3.  If you can't trust him after all that time, then you may as well get a divorce.  If he's given you good reason not to trust him, then you didn't write it above.  And just because he wants to find closure with his ex is not a good reason.  Go find someone neutral to talk to, and work through your own trust issues before you sabotage your marriage beyond all repair.

Answer 7

After 3 yrs of marriage to you, he should have closure. I would not be happy with him running off the chat with her. I'd tell him that too. Now, how you go about it after that, I'm not sure. I would not be happy with them needing closure, this late in the game.

Answer 8

14yrs and he's meeting his ex, tell him you are going too.cause that sounds like a booty call.and meeting her is driving you and him apart now.how did she get his number,  

Answer 9

As a guy, the only reason to talk to an ex (unless you have kids) is to bang her.  That's it, just being honest.  Chances are she's sent him some pictures, she's been working out and he wants to try it out.

How much "closure" do you need after 11yrs?

Answer 10

Why still worry about this girl?

You are married however why does he need closure?

She moved on and he should do the same. Why is he started something?

Why not go with him? Find out what is going on.

Answer 11

been together 11 years and still have insecurities that cant be good. has he ever given you a reason to not trust him within the past 11 years or is this just something in your head?

let them have their talk and be happy that you have a guy that stayed with you for this long.

Answer 12

nope, sorry, i dont have any advice. that just sounds odd and i wouldnt like it at all.

needs "closure" after being with you for how many years?

Answer 13

I could understand if they had a kid together or something. As a wife I would want to be present during the conversation or bye bye.

Answer 14

I think that maybe he is sincere in his intentions, but if the feelings are that strong that he needs to do this or it will drive him crazy you probably have something to worry about.  But at the same time, do you want to continue in a relationship that is not 100%?  I would let him know your reservations and tell him that you would like to know the outcome of this meeting so that you and he can decide where to go from there.

Answer 15

  If we lived nearby i would pick you up for coffee and see how he would like it . What a jerk you married .

Answer 16

My husband would NOT be going! Say "fine, but im coming"! or follow him! haha! but im crazy! yah you have to trust him but if he was a good husband why does he have to go?!! at least he told you he could have lied about it! but i would be PISSSSSED!

Answer 17

You tell you you've been together for 14 years, and he feels he needs to go meet some other woman?  You tell me that I am going too.

Why doesn't he want you to go?

Tell him to invite her to your home, where you will be too.

Otherwise, if they are not having a polluntic friendship, where you will be included, fishy business is going on...

like he will try to win her back, or something

If he refues you go, are you willing to end your marriage with him?

If he sleeps with her ?

sucks for you that he is wiling to drop everything he is doing just to run over her at her wim.

Answer 18

Yah something is up closure after 11 years lets get real.   He has something sneeky going on I would not trust that at all....