My husband and I have been trying to conceive, and have had no luck. How can we keep from getting discouraged?

Question

My husband and I have been trying to conceive, and have been each other's only partner (ever). We have been intimate for three years and have never gotten pregnant, with the exception of one tubal abortion (we did not abort -- my body aborted, somewhat like an ectopic pregnancy). It is very hard with people asking when we will have children, especially when so desperately want to, but haven't been able to.

In September, my doctor would like to try me on Clomid, which she says can drastically increase the chances of conception.

We will be loving parents, and we know that we'll make mistakes, but do the very best we can. We are financially stable, and have stable jobs, but should we not -- we would certainly go without so our child(ren) did not have to.

My husband is very optimistic and saying "It will happen," but it's not so easy for me.

I am at the point where I cry when I see others with their babies, knowing that I want the very same. How can I keep from getting discouraged?

Answer 1

Worrying about it, doesnt seem to helping. Maybe you should go away somewhere for a weekend/week vacation, and agree not to speak about pregnancy or parenting, and just have fun with your husband,  focus on each other. You never know, something might happen.

Answer 2

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My Aunt and Uncle had tried and tried to concieve for over 10 years. She was put on so many pills ect. and nothing seemed to work. And then one day, after they had given up all hope, we got the news that she was pregnant. I remember her crying with tears of joy. Now she has a beautiful baby girl named Cora. I feel that if God wants you to have a child he will tell you at what time.

I wish you ALL the very best of luck.

Blessings,

jen

Answer 3

it doesnt make you less of a woman because you can't concieve. keep having hope, it doesnt always come easily; there are only a few days a month that you can get pregant, technically, and its not always easy finding the right one.

also ask your doctor to check if you are able to have children. if you still are, consider using the drug they talked about, and talk about the risks with your husband too.

but most importantly, do not be discouraged. im sure that when your time comes, you will be a great parent. and dont feel like less of a woman because of this; it just means your body isnt as easily accessed as others.

Answer 4

that doesn't make you any less of a woman. I think that whatever your doctor is going to put you on will work, you have to be optimistic in order for you to conceive just like your husband is.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

Just enjoy the time trying to concieve and try not to think about it becasue that only makes it more stressful...you will get pregnant eventually and you will be terriffic parents, it may be hard at times but just remember that there are always other options if you are not able to concieve. You never know you could prevent an abortion... ever seen JUNO it made my best friends life alot better by looking at the other options

Answer 6

My best advice, that I can say from experience, as I have three girls of my own.......STOP thinking about it and it will just happen naturally. The more you think about it, the more stressed out about it you are, and the more you do to make it happen, it won't. The human body is smarter than we realize, and it knows when we try to "outsmart it."  Just go with the flow, have fun and it will happen.

Good Luck!  God bless!

Answer 7

YOU ARE HAVING s*x!

WHY ARE YOU DISCOURAGED?

KEEP AT IT

Answer 8

I have only been married for two weeks lol, so I won't pretend to know what you guys are going through... buuuut-- one thing I think could help would be to make it fun again. Often, trying to make something like that happen can put undue pressure on the two of you, making the experience of trying a chore rather than enjoyable time with your spouse... I hope that helps a little... : O)

Answer 9

I am in your boat! I swing between wanting to be around babies and avoiding them at all costs because of the emotion. I had a chemical misscarriage two years ago, anc have had difficulty with my periods ever since.

I have been on Metformin for about six months to help my body with an insulin resistance - not diabetic - And my doctor also says she wants to but me on Clomid as well. Likely in about two months or so I will call her and begin (due to a death in the family and high stress she wants me to wait until it calms down a little, and hope i have a couple of periods)

I'm nervous, excited and can't wait to try Clomid, and hoping we can get rid of the polycysticovanrian syndrome.

The part that really gets me is that i have about 6 friends right now that are pregnant, half of them weren't even trying! ARGH! My email address is [e-mail]. I'd love to keep in contact with you, since we're both in the same boat and see if we can encourage each other.

And just to add on, while you all mean well the "Don't think about it" comments, dont work. I've been trying not to think about it, and even sometimes dont (not sure how, but there have been times i've just totaly relaxed) and I still never got pregnant. Telling someone not think about it, is salt in the wound - or like saying don't blink. it's going to happen no matter what. It's natrual and the way God designed us. When our wombs cry out for a child, it is something that can not be silenced.

I do a lot of babysitting of infants, and hang out with pregnant women, as painful asi ti can be i've been told it helps your hormones line up. Maybe that is something that might help.

For example, I've hardly had periods not two weeks after a teenager with normal periods moved in to my house i started a bleed.

Answer 10

it's probably time you got your doctor to refer you to a specialist fertility clinic.  If you have had one pregnancy then at least you know that it is possible for you, but you just may need a little bit of help - there can be simple things that are not right with your body (like low vitamin b levels) that can be easily fixed and increase your chances of falling pregnant.

Do you feel that you have dealt with the grief from the loss of your first pregnancy?  If you haven't then you may need to deal with that issue first........if you feel it's not affecting you anymore then..............Keep having hot, rampant s*x and don't give up!

Hope you get a bun in the oven soon.......and for the people who keep asking when you are having kids - just tell them that you are still practicing.

Answer 11

I feel your pain.  my husband and I have been married for just over 3 years...but we havent been ttc the whole time.  we feel ready to start our family but have no luck.  since we have been trying everyone I know is getting pregnant but no luck for us.  my doctor sent my husband for a sperm count and its been over a week with no results.  the office is calling around trying to figure out whats going on.  its like as if I've not been waiting for a baby long enough...this happens.  I was just on facebook and my friend had pics posted from her first prenatal visit with her midwives.  I just feel crushed.  I'm lost for words on what to do anymore.  my husband keeps telling me it will happen but I know hes just being strong for me.  deep down inside he is crushed too.  the best thing I can do to keep me going is know that I have a husband that loves me very much and will keep on loving me no matter what.  and I know someday I will have a child....whether I conceive naturally, with the help of medical science or I adopt a child who needs someone to love them.  I will someday be a mother.  if you want you can contact me through this site.  my email is enabled in my profile page.  if you ever need someone to talk to about it I'm always here.  good luck.

Answer 12

My sister inlaw also has the exact same issue!

She had 10 misscarriages so far...I know it sounds crazy what im about to tell you but it works

She always told evreyone the first month she found out

now my family is very supersticious but im not so when they told her dont tell anyone i just laughed!

But after her 10th loss she decided to try not telling anyone and now she was a 5 month old baby healthy and soo cute

maybe you should try it?

Answer 13

I just want to share this story with you to give you hope.  

I have the most wonderful sister-in-law who could not get pregnant for two years.  She even suffered through two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy which she had to have emergency surgery.  Then....out of the blue she got pregnant!  That was 6 years ago.  And guess how many kids she has now?  She has 2 girls and 1 brand new boy!!!   It will happen.  Try not to think of it .  I know it's hard.  Meanwhile while your trying to get pregnant remember to take good care of your body by exercising and eating good foods.  

I wish you and your husband all the best.

Answer 14

You should pray to god. Or if you want to you can even conciter phitility treatments.

Answer 15

it will happen. It's just one of those things that's out of your hands. I mean, you two can keep doing what you're doing, but then nature has to take care of the rest. Do you know your ovulation schedule? I got pregnant when I was ovulating (then I also miscarried). Just enjoy your partner and the time you two have together right now. When you have kids, you have no  time to yourselves. It will happen, just be patient and be happy for those around you that do have children.