My husband and I have opposing religious views?

Question

Now that my eldest is 4 I wanted to start including him in when I meet with others to worship in Wiccan tradition. I've been showing/teaching him my beliefs for about a year now but also opening his mind to other things (we have Christian, Hari Krishna, Jewish, and Catholic family members). My husband is very Agnostic and has never shown opposition to my beliefs nor have I to his. But recently in showing my interest to include our son in Wiccan events, my husband thinks that I might be pushing my beliefs on him and that we should wait until he's much older he can decide for himself. Is that not different than pushing Agnostic beliefs? Raising him in a home with no faith? My husband would feel just the same if I were Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Jewish or any other religion. My faith is so important to me and I've always dreamed of the time I can introduce Our Great Mother to our children.

Answer 1

First, let me tell you, I'm a Wiccan, and have been practicing for around 18 years.  I have five children, ranging in ages from 19 to 10, and their mothers and I all share similar religious convictions.

I think 4 is too young to start to share your religion as truth.  However, I do think that you can practice openly, and when your child asks about something, I would recommend giving an answer phrased something like: "Well, I like to think of it this way....and Hindu people think of it this way...and Christians think of it like this..."  and so on.  I would also give your husband a chance to describe how he sees things, as well.  As they get older (like about ten), and are more capable of reading other texts for themselves and coming up with their own ideas about the nature of the world, you can share more of your philosophy with your children.  Again, though, I recommend being very careful to note that your ideas are not the only ones out there, and that your husband feels differently about things than you do.  It's all about openness and balance and working NOT to indoctrinate our kids.  In my case, this approach has worked fairly well.  My eldest two children chose to be initiated into Wicca when they turned 13, and have stayed with it.  My third child has drifted back and forth between enjoying the ritual of Wicca and being, essentially, and agnostic.  Our youngest two are too young yet to initiate, and I think the older one will choose not to.  He is something of a Zen Buddhist, but our youngest is already a little witch, and will almost certainly join our coven when she is old enough to.  Ultimately, we chose to wait until they were older because our faith requires a year and a day of structured study before initiation, and we didn't feel the kids were really ready for that sort of additional work load until they were over ten.  

I would advise talking to your hubby and backing away from presenting your beliefs as truth just yet, for a variety of reasons, and asking him to help give a balanced and open view of the reasons for your practices.

Good luck and bright blessings!

Answer 2

If he doesn't have a religion he wants to teach him, why not teach him yours? As long as you don't make him think it's the only way of thinking, and let him know he doesn't have to follow your religion if he doesn't want to, it shouldn't be a problem.

Answer 3

I don't see a problem with telling your child what it is that you believe. However, Wiccan isn't traditional (sadly) so when and how you introduce non-traditional beliefs is important. I would say for him to be maybe just a couple of years older to really start taking him to services.

i have the same problem with my bf. I'm agnostic/Buddhist but he's Christian. I've decided that I will let my son know what I believe but I'll wait until I know he's not over impressionable to fully introduce him to either set of beliefs.

Answer 4

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but that is something you should have thought about and discussed before you married.  The Bible states that you should not be unequally yolked with a believer married to a non-believer.  This same statement can be carried over to all religious beliefs (or lack thereof).  Sharing the same beliefs is essential in a marriage.  It can cause a lot of issues if you don't, as you can tell from your own experiences now.

You can expose him to the Wiccan religion if you wish, but like with any religious beliefs you can't force him.  I say let him decide for himself.

Answer 5

Religious difference can really cause great strife in a marriage, especially where children are concerned.  You two obviously need to talk and come to an agreement on how your children will be raised in regard to religion.  Try to get your husband to compromise somewhat...let him teach what he believes on certain issues and you teach what you believe on certain issues.  Perhaps this will allow your children to grow up more open-minded about religion, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Why is teaching your children your beliefs forcing him into something?  When he is old enough, he will decide for himself, no matter what you teach him at home, believe me.  Perhaps explaining to your husband that if your children are allowed to learn both of your beliefs, they will actually have the knowledge to make a decision which direction they want to go when they get older.  Without the knowledge of either side, how can they even make a choice?  That's my two cents.

Answer 6

since you are also showing him other religions, include the fact that, like his father, there are some who have no religion.  including your son in your religious beliefs is no different than showing him your opinions and beliefs on anything else....its a daily thing.  your husband should be happy that you have a family that is so diverse.  he needs to understand how lucky your child is to be in a family that will show him other ways to think, than just the majority.  my husband and i were raised catholic, but are teaching our son and will teach our next child, that there are many, many ways to have faith, and even the fact that some choose to have no faith.   good luck and i hope your husband will come around and see that you are just trying to keep your sons mind open to new ideas.  

Answer 7

Not raising your child in any religion is NOT the same as raising him as an Agnostic.  Agnosticism is not laziness.  it is an acceptance that the individual does not know whether the divine exists, or it can be a distinct belief that we can't know whether the divine exists.

This is something that you two as parents should have discussed beforehand.  It sounds like you kind of presumed that because your husband is laid back about his beliefs that he wouldn't care how you raised your child.  The two of you need to sit down and have a very serious conversation on WHY each of wants what you want and where each of you might compromise.

Yes, your faith is important to you.  You should start presuming your husband's perspective is equally important to him.