My husband and I were invitiede to his cousins weeding at the last minute the weeding date is 8/9 and he?

Question

called us on 728 to RSVP but he was sending out invites I decided to go buy them a small gift because right now we are struggling financially. Well, Yesterday I get the invitation in the mail and I was reading it I couldnt believe what I was reading at the bottom in big bold letters it said ENVELOPS ONLY AS GIFTS so how do I take it?? offensive?? should I not take the gift??? take the gift??? I cant give them cash the gift was a nice candle set for 10 bucks plese give me advice

Answer 1

I would save the candle gift for another occassion or still even give them the gift letting them know you did not see the part that read only envelopes. Possibly they are trying to even out the cost of the wedding and that is what they would be doing with the money and why they are asking for envelopes only. If you want to go with their envelope request you could return the gift and put the 10 dollars in an envelope, you do not need to state you are financially struggling and this is what you can give. I think what is important should be that you are attending their wedding, a major event in their lives and they would or should anyway appreciate your presence. Good luck with your decision.!

Answer 2

It was bad form for then to emntion that on teh card.  I can understand at a desination wedding not wanting gifts there and getting them home but other then that its no excuse.  I say return the candle set and buy a box of envelopes and give them that for their gift!

Answer 3

I would never do that, but I think a lot of people do that now a days, so you know what I would do...I wouldnt get them anything, just a card

Answer 4

DO NOT return the candle set!

It was rude and tacky and quite presumptuous of them to put something like that on an invitation.  Presents are not a requirement--they are a courtesy given to someone in appreciation for hosting.  You should not be made to feel bad for your present, which is what putting c**p like that on an invite does--it goes to show the kind of people they are if they think that's okay.

Either drop off the present before or after the wedding to them and leave it at that.  Don't address the comment on the bottom of the invite--they should be thankful and gracious that you are even giving them something.

Answer 5

I would either take the gift that I got anyway or just mail or drop off the candle to their house directly before or after the wedding.

Answer 6

Wow, that is a tacky thing for them to say!!!  Asking for money gifts so blatantly like that??  The first rule of wedding etiquette is that you NEVER ask for any gifts, cash or otherwise- in fact, you are not to assume that anyone will even bring you a gift.  If I were you I would purposely give them the candle you bought, completely ignoring the request for "envelopes."  That is precisely what I did a couple months ago for a couple who was tasteless enough to write on their invitation "In lieu of gifts, honeymoon funds are requested."  I bought them a vase and stuck it right on the table where all the envelopes were.  Nobody tells ME what kind of gift to bring to their wedding!!

Answer 7

I would mail the gift to their house prior to the wedding. They may not have someone to transport gifts from the reception.  Either that or they are trying to get more cash gifts, either way, send the gift to the house. It's not your fault that you were not aware prior.

Answer 8

Take the candles. You do not get to demand what you get. It is a GIFT. They should be happy to get anything. This new "I want money" fad is so tacky...it makes me not even want to attend those weddings. And normally, I just give money anyway. But you do what you can afford, and they need to get over themselves. Goodluck

Answer 9

Return the candle and use the money to buy them a card. Put a really good recipe or two in there as a gift. While it is possible this is their way of saying 'no gifts', I frankly think it's a tacky ploy for money or gift cards.  I wouldn't mind if the couple was moving across country and can't transport a lot of stuff, but that probably is not the case.

Answer 10

That's incredibly tacky and in poor taste of him. Ignore the invitation - take the gift that you already purchased. You'll find that lots of other guests have done the same. Not everyone wants to give money, and they don't have to.

People know better than to request money, those that do are just greedy.

And ignore anyone on here who says "well, it's like his wedding and their speshul day so they should get whatever they want!!!!!" That's ridiculous. Yes, it's a special day for them, but that doesn't exempt them from being classy and polite. You are NEVER obligated to give any gift, especially cash.

Answer 11

That's so tacky! Send the gift to their home.

Answer 12

Take the candle set back and get your money.  Buy a card sign it love and best wishes and give them the envelope with JUST the card in it.

Answer 13

Okay, the last minute invite sounds like you were on list 'B'...those to invite if some on list 'A' returned a declined invite...on top of that asking outright for a cash gift is very rude because 1) one doesn't ask or even asume a gift will be given, gifts are optional altho traditional and 2) one doesn;t request a particular gift, one takes what the gifter is willing to give...whatever that may be. So....

Take the request literally-we all know evelopes means money but they didn't say envelope with money inside...outright Trying to be clever I suppose...so give an envelope with a card

I would not send or give the candles.....I would give a card with a brief note that at this time finances prevent a cash gift......if you even decide to attend....

You have up to one year to send a gift....consider this option.

Answer 14

Well they can't hate you if you send it...

s***w them for being so tacky any ways...

Answer 15

you shouldn't take that offencive at all. but  you should take the gift and say to them that you got it before you got the invitation from the mail. they would understand.

Answer 16

That sounds rather tacky to me, I can't believe they said that.  I'd just keep the candle set if I were you...

Answer 17

A gift is not required.

It is rude to request cash (which is what they did).

Return your gift and buy a nice card.

Answer 18

It is always incorrect for a person to act as if he/she is even EXPECTING a gift, much less directing their benefactors as to what the gift should be. My suggestion is to send a handsome gift box filled with envelopes along with a formal "very much regrets we will be unable to attend" message.

Answer 19

Many couples are now requesting "Envelopes Only" since they are using it for honeymoon or other expenses. Return the candle and give them the $10 it isn't much but they will understand it is what you can give or send them a writing invitation to a lovely dinner of your specialty upon their request. Just because the are asking for envelopes doesn't mean you have to enclose cash my favorite "envelope" was a lovely poem of advice from a dear aunt. Good Luck!

Answer 20

Call them and explain the situation. They prolly just dont want a bunch of bulky gifts hangin around for someone to steal and just want an envelope bc they have a box or something for them to keep them protected. You might be able to make arrangements to bring the gift and put it in their vehicle or something.