My husband and i divorced and my kids miss him?

Question

I am dating and the kids just found out a while ago just after i found out i was pregnant from him. Today he asked me to marry him. I really really like him and i dont know how to tell the kids without making them upset. How should i tell them? and should I tell my boyfriend yes or no

Answer 1

your a B**** just like my mom, except i stay with my dad bcuz i cant stand her alcoholic boy friend who's shes marrying like a year after her devorce BAD choices there lady.

Answer 2

It would be best for you to not get married, and you should ultimately focus on your kids.

It's apparent to all of us, and hopefully yourself after reading all of these comments, that you're incapable of making good choices.  Before you get yourself into more problems...do yourself a favour and think of your kids first before you meet a man, and have s*x with him.  You will undoubtedly, more often than not, come out hurt and bring the extra baggage home for your kids to deal with.

So...do NOT get married.  If you can...give the baby up for adoption.

Hopefully your children are young enough to forget your promiscuity.  

If not...you might be a grandma sooner than you'd like.

You tell your kids that you are going to have a baby.  If they ask questions, answer truthfully.  You tell them who the father is, and that it's not their father who put that in you.  Hopefully they're still young enough to not think about or question the whole "s*x before marriage" deal. Or in your case...babies before marriage.

Answer 3

d**n, you just keep F'n up seriously.

You have no idea the damage you are doing to your children. You're going to have to sit down and talk to them, cause mama f'd up. Hopefully, this relationship works for you (most importantly your kids), otherwise you'll be looking for another man...with another child. I feel for them.

Answer 4

I sounds like you should not marry the guy.  You stated that you really like him, not love.  The fact that you are asking complete strangers if you should marry someone, should also tell you something.  However, your kids will deal with it if you do.  They might be upset, but your life is about you.  Not your kids.  Your kids should be your rose gardenn per say.  They are what make life beautiful, but not what life should be.

Answer 5

okay FIRST OF ALL i just want to CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR PREGNANCY AND MOVING FORWARD WITH YOUR LIFE!!!

It may be difficult seeing your kids miss their dad, but at the same time some adjustments need to be made. Talk to your kids and explain to them that dad still loves them but that you and their dad just didn't fit well together and just because yall live in seperate houses doesn't mean that their father doesn't love them.

now as for your boyfriend I hope he feels comfortable around your kids.  this sounds pretty new, so i hope he's not being strict with them, but maybe it's a good idea for him to just have a 2 minute talk with the kids to let them know that he's not their to replace their dad but to be a friend and explain to them that he loves their mom just as they (your kids) do.

now, are you in love with him or just in excitement. If you really love him, personally I would say YES that's just me...think about it though and talk about your expectations about marriage though...

Answer 6

my mom and dad are divoriced u rly should tell your kids its the best u can do and do they get to see there day i do everyother weekend and i see him throughout the week

Answer 7

ur selfish!!!

get a abortion lol, u dont desrve children if u dont even treat the ones u have right!

Answer 8

Well, not to be judgemental, but do you really really "like" him or do you love him?  If you don't love him, then you should probably tell him no for the time being.  You should let your kids know about the baby as soon as you are ready.  Of course they miss their daddy.  That's a natural feeling for them to have.  Finding out that you were dating probably crushed all their hopes that you and their dad would get back together.  That being said, you and their father split for a reason.  Reassure them that it wasn't their fault, but don't let that guilt keep you from being happy.  If they see that you are happy, more than likely, they will be happy too.

Answer 9

Think about your kids needs first

Answer 10

excuse me....are you an adult ??? then how about acting like one...either be the adult parent. or be the idiot who's kids dictate her life...and how should we know what YOU should tell him...we don't know you and it's not our place.

Answer 11

your very selfish you only think about yourself and not your kids you should have stayed with there father unless he beat you because you choose him to marry and have kids and then you tore there only family apart and took up being an unpaid w***e and got pregnant you should have loved your kids more before you opened your legs with another man if you ex isn't with someone you should give the kids to him that way they can have all of his attention and not have to compete with another mans child  

Answer 12

If you tell your kids the truth - all the way down the line - they may be upset but will thank you in the end.  

When I was a kid, I wished that my parents had told me the truth BUT they didn't for whatever their selfish/cowardly reasons and so I never did and still do not respect them.  The 'truth' can hurt but it's more acceptable than lies, omitions, SILENCE, silly stories, etc.  Put your self back in your early childhood and see what you wanted to hear from your parents!

If they 'miss' him.........then let them go live with him!  

Answer 13

It depends on how old the kids are as to how you approach this....

I would talk to them on their level and expressly tell them that while you are marrying this man, (that decision is yours, but their input should be considered) he is not there to replace your dad, but that he is there to love and support them just the same.  Hes there to be a big brother of sorts...just break it down to their level and use their language and words they understand.  Of course they are scared, this is alot of life changes going on at once, new husband, new baby and they have to have time to process it, especially depending on how long you guys have been divorced, how long you and your new guy have been together and how well they know him.

Most importantly, do you love this man?  Do you trust him with your children? Will he make a good step-father, understanding their hesitations?  Is this what you want?

Lots to consider...Good luck!

Answer 14

definitely say yes. You don't want to hurt your new child. I don't know how you can tell your children but allow them once ina  while to see their own father too and let them have a healthy relationship with him too

Answer 15

wow you really are a bad decision making machine, aren't you?  you're asking total stranger some pretty big questions. and why would you marry someone you just "really really like"  go ahead but i see another divorce in your future. the next time though try acting like a parent not a teenage girl. you have kids to think about  

Answer 16

You should've waited longer. Sorry to say it but you didn't even consider you kids until now and that's not right.

Answer 17

You Should Thought About That 1st & Why Get Pregnant I Am No One To Judge You, But I Wonder How Long You Got Divorce? And Don't Tell The Kids Yet  

Answer 18

well if it was me i would go talk about it with my kids and ask them how they would feel about me getting married and i would talk about it as well with my date. so i hope what i said is help full and good luck with your decision.  

Answer 19

you are one messed up chick. if your kids are still hurt from the divorce, how are you ready to marry someone else? and hun, you don't marry someone 'cause you "really really like them". you marry them because you are IN LOVE with them! that's obviously what went wrong in the first marriage!  

Answer 20

let you kids spend a weekend with your ex.

When they are away, think to yourself:

-what do you want, sweetheart?

-will the kids adjust

Let them meet the guy first, before they find out he is replacing their dad! They are sure to use "UR REPLACING DADDY" against u, i know i did.

Answer 21

Um why get preggo by a bf?

You put yourself in a rough spot lol.

Your kids will find out one day so tell them.

Answer 22

you should really take your time to think about this because this is no longer your decision ( it is..but you must consider your kids) consider your kids, at least if they arer  young still. and Give the relationship some time...just because your pregnant with his kid doesnt mean you have to marry him.

besides, does he get along with your kids? if he does than that makes it easier..if he doesnt..this could really ruin you relationship with him along with your relationship with your kids.