My husband and l are looking into adopting siblings (2). We already have two children and like the idea?

Question

Of adoption to complete our family, as we've both always wanted four children. My question is, do you think it's selfish to adopt when you're capable of having children because you're "taking a child off people who need to adopt because they can't have kids"? l was told this by a friend and a family member, one of whom can't have children, and the other can. Am l right to be outraged at this, or do they have a point? Honest opinions please, l'm not just looking for people to agree with me!

Answer 1

If you can have children, have your own children. Yes, I think it is selfish to adopt in this case. I'm just being honest, and that's what I think.

If you're talking about older children who are in the foster care system.... go for it. It seems to me that it should be the first place people should be going to look for a child. They need and want love.

Answer 2

adoption is a wonderful way to have a family. I never heard of anyone objecting. That sounds absurd to me. there are so many babies that need loving homes and you are not depriving someone else by also adopting. there are plenty of needy chilren to go around.

Answer 3

You are right to be outraged!  Would any of these people who are criticizing you adopt two older siblings?  Most likely not!  And it is these children who have the hardest time finding families.  Yes, there are lines of people waiting to adopt newborn infants, but not a sib group!  Go for it, and be happy with your new children!

Answer 4

Look, i wanted to do the same thing, i have a daughter and i want another child, but going through the birth is terrifying to me, so i want to adopt a 3rd or 4th child, it doesn't matter if you're capable of having children, what matters is that you are taking children that are either homeless, unwanted,or orphaned, and raising them in a loving environment.

Answer 5

it is a great idea to adopt. do like angelina and get the sand babies or like the babies from other countrys or help out our country by takin a crack heads baby and giving them a good life.

I dont have much input on this subject and wat i said is serious it just came out all wrong i think. i hope u understand? Peace on earth =)

Answer 6

rock on!!  my hubby and i are about to start the adoption process< we have a daughter and i really wanted to adopt>   it is the most unselfish thing you can do and don't let anyone tell you any different!  congrats!

Answer 7

I think that it's a great idea if you are really honest with yourself and could love those children as much as your own.

I'm the 4th "adpoted"child of parents who had their own 3 children first.  Not once did I ever feel different then my 3 siblings.  I myself have 2 biological kids and we're thinking about adpoting a 3rd..   People who adpot I think are some of the best people around!!!! Caring and generous!!!  What a great combo for parents!!!

Good luck!!!!

Answer 8

i think it's awesome! there are so many kids in foster care that just want someone to love them! but maybe consider instead of getting infants getting like toddlers or even like a 5-9 year old!

Answer 9

I think your friend are family had no right to say that you would be taking a child from other people and I too would be outraged. You are not doing it for selfish reasons, its very decent of you and your husband to put yourselves forward. I wish there were more people like you and your husband. I think its really nice that you still want to adopt after having 2 of your own children and if anything I think its brilliant that you would do this.

Take no notice of the people who have had a go at you, some people are so narrow minded.

Good luck to you and your husband and i hope it works out for you!

Answer 10

You are right. The children that are in demand by adopters are "healthy, White, babies". Older children, minority children, sibling groups, and special needs children have a much harder time finding a home.  Your willingness to adopt from one of these categories should be commended not condemned.

Answer 11

Opening your heart and home to children, no matter how they come into your life is wonderful. Some people aren't in a position to conceive naturally or be able to adopt. I don't think you are selfish, just full of love. Goodluck.

Answer 12

there are way too many children in this world, heck just in the USA who need good homes!  I say go for it!  I have two children from a previous marriage and my hubby now wants kids...I can't have anymore...so we are adopting so we have one that calls him daddy!

Answer 13

It's your decision, no one elses business. I personally prefer to have my own kids if possible, however.

Answer 14

you should adopt. if you adopt siblings the children are bonded forever.

Answer 15

I don't think that you should feel bad about adopting even though you can have kids.  There are way more kids out there looking for good families to join then there are people looking for kids, so your friend shouldn't worry about that fact.  It's very noble of you to want to adopt even though you can have kids, just don't treat them different then the ones you have.  That can be very damaging to a child... Good luck

Answer 16

If you can give two children, who may have otherwise spent their lives in a children's home, or in and out of foster care, a happy loving home, then I wish you all the very best.

To me they don't have a point about you being selfish. If they did and there genuinely was a shortage of children to adopt, then there would not be a single child without a forever parent.

Answer 17

Well, it's not as if there is a shortage of children in the child welfare system in need of homes, there are 10's of thousands of them, so how would adopting a sibling group (which you would do through foster care most likely) "take children" away from anybody? What's stopping them from adopting a dozen?

Some people think if you're fertile you shouldn't adopt a newborn, because only about 14,000 a year are placed, but I think that's ridiculous as well.

Answer 18

I think you have a great idea and you should definitely go ahead with the adoption!! As somebody earlier said, there are definitely more children than adopting parents!! And the concept of two own and two adopted really appeals to me ( cos i'm planning the same, only as a 1+1).  All the best!!

Regards

Answer 19

If you are not intending on adopting a baby, but rather two children, then I dont see what the problem is.  Many people would rather adopt a newborn, rather than children.  

I may be infertile, but I dont have a problem with people adopting, I dont get angry and worked up about it.  Your doing a wonderful caring thing, and there should be more people like you out there, who are open minded, and open your home and your hearts to children who without you may have ended up having a very different life indeed!

Good on you, and good luck!  I hope it all works out!  ;-)

Answer 20

You should adopt because you want to and because you have a happy, loving home. I know for a fact that there are 1500 kids in my state alone who are waiting for a home. There are far more kids than perspective parents out there!!

Answer 21

There is enough orphans for everybody..adopting is the most noble thing i can ever think off specially when you already have kids off your own.but plz treat them like your own.

Answer 22

i reckon u should just have your own, ive had 4 kids of my own, and id only have  adopted  if i couldnt medically have a baby of my own

having your own is an easier process than adoption, and they r truly 100% yours, no fear of ever being taken away from you

good luckxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx