My husband cheated n how do you approach this in Islam?

Question

I've been married to him for almost 5 years. our marriage has not been the most nurturing and solid. he is quiet abusive, mentally, physically, and has done things without my consent for the sake of my kids i stayed with and overlooked all the difficulties and continued being a devoted Islamic wife. i have had doubts of his infidelity but recently learned that he has been seeing a non-Muslim girl. who i have spoken with and has told me numerous details abt him that only a wife would know. under these circumstances is it Islamic correct to ask for a khula (separation)/divorce.

Answer 1

From a western point of view, you should divorce him immediately. From an Islamic point of view, only he can ask for a divorce, but yes you can ask for a seperation (khula).

"If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odor of Paradise will be forbidden to her." (Sunan Abu Dawud)

"Those who seek Khula without any reason are hypocrites." (Musnad Ahmad)

Essentially, all you need is a good reason, which you certainly seem to have, in order for it to be correct to ask for a khula. And according to islam, you should give back the dowry, or part of the dowry, if there was one. It's up to you to decide if that would be fair in this circumstance.

Answer 2

I am confused. Are Muslim men allowed to have many wives?

Answer 3

Wrap him up in a white sheet and throw rocks at him until he gets the point.  It is for the honor of the family.  How could you let him dishonor you and your children this way.  Make sure your local police know that this a religious freedom issue not a domestic dispute. They will understand.  When you are done you can serve the same dish of justice to his girlfriend.  In Islamic countries he would be the first to out her when he was done with her then be the first to throw stones at her to seal the break up.  It's ironic don't you think.  

Answer 4

if you are living in a country that allow khula'a go ahead and ask for it, but FYI its not a separation, its divorce were you surrender all your financial rights to him.

Answer 5

If your going to live in America, do as Americans do, get a divorce.

Answer 6

I agree with Jake. Consider a separation/divorce if you live in the United States. It is not just about you or your husband anymore, you will do it for your children's sake. They come FIRST, before anything else. Focus on that, then you can easily make a decision. For me, I will never let my kids be around an abusive father.