My husband cheated on me. well, not physically. he has been seeing a girl with intentions to sleep with her.?

Question

Our relationship has been on the rocks for the past couple years, and our s*x life was almost non existing. We discussed a divorce a couple times but each time decided to try and make things work. I've tried my best to make things better by doing what he wished, but noticed that he was straying away from me more and more. Untill one nice evening, while we were getting close intimately, she called and all h**l broke loose. He does not deny it. He threw it in my face, he said that since I was not giving him any, he was going to get it somewhere else. What do I do? I do love him, I want this to work out. But I can not seem to get over the fact that he wanted to hurt me that much. All he had to do was divorce me, at least I wouldn't have to feel so disrespected and cheated. Help please.

Answer 1

You don't deserve that and he's trying to hurt you? He's not much of a man. Your better off with out him.  

Answer 2

Your right he could have choosen to divorce you first before connecting with this other woman. I would be sure that your husband did not already sleep with her and get checked for every STD out there. If he has been straying away often you cannot be sure where he has been since now this woman is calling for him on the phone. If the two of you want to make your marriage work it's best that you both go through some marriage counseling to get straight to the bottom of your relationship issues. He also needs to cut all ties with this woman and not be giving his telephone number out to any female.  

Answer 3

The very best thing you can do is search your feelings and realize  that you are letting this man hurt, abuse and disrespect  you and himself. It is obvious that he cannot or will not fully commit himself to you and   being with him will always be unhealthy for you. If you  have no children, consider yourself very lucky and cut yourself loose from him. You are worth far more than  he has to offer. Go find  yourself a real man who treats you and himself the way you both deserve.

Answer 4

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU DESERVE THE VERY BEST...ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT...NO MAN IS WORTH BEING STRESSED OUT OVER FOR A VERY LONG TIME...I have never been married...But I have been in a relationship with a cheating boyfriend of two years. Since you are married I think that the problem is the s*x based on what you said above. I mean s*x is not everything but it does keep your man around (if you get my drift). My best advice is to read Cosmo! take their advice on problems in the bedroom. Do research and come up with things that will blow his mind. Try your best to keep your man becuase you two are married and it is worth the fight. However, a woman's intuition is always right. If you are putting yourself out there beyond any measure and he is still acting up. My best advice is to leave him. Since he actually did not have s*x with the other girl it is not that bad. But if you catch him cheating again, you have to teach him a lesson. Leave him alone for a while and do your thing...Go get a new hair style, get your nails done, work on your figure, and buy something that makes you look really s**y (this always works!)....Men are really competitive...show him that if he does not want to pay you attention another man will! It is needless to say that men desire a trophy to a certain extent. Don't stress out about it! Focus on having some great s*x with your man, do something for yourself that makes you feel secure and s**y, and you should have his eyes and mind on you all the time! He will rush home to you!

~hope i helped! good luck hun!

Answer 5

Take his transition period to get your ducks in a row.  Start squirreling away some money.  Get more education, a better job.  Buy yourself a decent wardrobe on his buck.  If you have children plan that he will have them 50% of the time and he can keep the lousy $200 support payments.  (better he take the responsibility for his children).

Next time tell him you don't "give it out"  unless it is deserved and since his body part seems to be in another direction, your not about to give him any of the good stuff"

No matter how you try to "fix yourself" it will never be good enough because the problem lies in him.

Answer 6

The bible says that even to lust in your mind is infidelity . In today's day and age considering to sleep with someone is far more than lusting , So I would have to say it is classified as cheating and you have a right to feel disrespected and cheated because you have been , he has broken his vows already now all it is going to take is a physical act. You simply may not be able to get over it, you shouldn't have to .He has put you in this possition . You need to start working on your self worth , your self esteem, and remember what a independent and smart person you are . By the time he makes his mistakes and see's the confident you , your going to be out of his league . Good luck to you .  

Answer 7

I am sorry but I cant evaluate this situation without hearing both sides.  I am sure there is more to it than we are hearing.

Answer 8

Either separate, split up or get counseling.

Answer 9

You are a good example of the fact that abuse can be emotional as well as physical and can hurt almost as much, if not more for some.  The fact that he throws this in your face shows he wants the power and may even be doing the same to some extent to her.

You should get some counseling, or someone to talk to, about the fact that he is playing the two of you against each other, and move on.  the longer you are in that relationship, the longer it will be before you find happiness elsewhere.  Good Luck!!

Answer 10

And you're staying with this loser?  Go see a lawyer and get rid of him.  You deserve better than you're getting from him.  

Answer 11

You are both unhappy and he's cheating or planning to.  What's the question? Split up!  Why should either of you suffer any more? You can and will  be much happier apart.  Your relationship is done.  

Answer 12

I think he already carries out his intentions! Loves not supposed to hurt you or threaten you.

Answer 13

And why are you tolerating this treatment?  Time to see an attorney NOW!

Oh yeah, DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM ANYMORE!!!  That's a real good way to pick up an std.

Answer 14

It takes two to work things out and if you want to and he doesn't it won't. Tell him divorce and go his way or stop everything and work on the marriage. If he can't or is undecided it is over

Answer 15

Things  wear out and die, hon... dogs, cars, tires, teeth, and yes, marriages.  And if you both don't wish to save your marriage, then bail.  You are asking HIM to divorce YOU??????  If YOU aren't happy, why are you waiting?

If he is not interested in counseling, and working on your relationship, it's over.... you and he just don't know it yet.

Nothing is forever.... a marriage that lasts 50 years isn't necessarily a success, and one that lasts 6 isn't necessarily a failure.  Lots of us just don't understand this.

We change, and what we want in life as well changes... not a bad thing.  We all live long enough to have a second successful or third successful marriage, all of them again labeled as successes.  Terminating them is at times traumatic, since most of us feel better when partnered....evolution sort of made us that way.

But you can't seek a second partner, if the albatross is still around your neck.

Write if you need more insight.