My husband cheated on me what should I do?

Question

I'm 36 and have been married for 10 years. My husband is 31 and we have 2 children. I just found out that he has been cheating on my with a 23 year old. He's not only been sleeping with her and spending quality time with her and her daughter, but tells her he loves her. I still love him but am very hurt and feel betrayed. Should I divorce him? What if he says he will change? Help me please I'm lost and empty. I hate him for what he's done but I know I still love him. I'm older too what if I don't find anybody else and I am alone forever. Please help.

Answer 1

Once a cheater, always a cheater.  He has destroyed any trust you ever had in him and has ruined your relationship forever, but you know that.  Get over the jealousy and move on down the line.

Answer 2

Is it really that you love him that much after what he did to you and your family or is it that you're afraid that you'll never find another man again?  Don't short change yourself.  You never know what's around the next corner.

Even if he does change and says that he's committed to you and your family, will you trust him again or will you spend the rest of your life wondering what he's doing every time he walks out the door?

Answer 3

what is to stop him from cheating again and again,your only 36, still young enough to find a new love.get some self worth,believe me u don't want him.if he loves the other women let him go, why would u even want to risk this rejection over and over again by a man who has totally disrespected u.see him for what he is, just a cheater. get in some recovery group where u will meet others who will help u.when your cheated on self esteem plummets, and u think no one will ever want u, but just worry about getting rid of the cheater first, get child support,but u can never trust a cheater again.

Answer 4

Ok ..Its easy for everyone to tell you ...."once a cheater always a cheater" ......."leave him" .etc etc....

But you have alot ot stake here, and theres the children to consider.

Theres a few things you need to consider,

How did you find out?  Did he come clean or did you accidentally find out?

Is he remorseful? Does he want to sort things out with you?

Has he stopped the affair?

I believe EVERYONE deserves a second chance, if they are truly remorseful, and lots of people survive affairs...

But he has to make 200% effort. remember that YOU did nothing wrong. If he wants to make it work with his family then he will need to be totally transparent in everything he does to gain back your trust. It will take alot of work on both parts, but if you believe your marriage is worth it ............then it IS worth the effort.

Seek some counselling.

Answer 5

you can't see it now, but you have been alone since the day he started cheating on you.  the benefit in being alone if you leave him is that you are not being used, you have your self respect, and the opportunity to meet a man who will treat you with respect and you have the freedom to start a new life with him.  is it a guarantee?  no - nothing in life is.  but karma is on your side, not his.  he will wallow in regret at what a good thing he had and threw away.  you will start a new life on your own terms without his bs dragging you down.  he cheated - you don't deserve that.  you  wouldn't do it to him - you deserve better.  life is too short to waste it on someone not worth it.  he is not worth it.  he will not change - believe me.  save yourself years of heartache and get out now.  good luck.  

Answer 6

they never change once a cheat always a cheat. and why would you even want him after he has done something like that to you?

Answer 7

As long as you are willing to play his victom, he is going to make you his victom....  Sometimes you have to do what you have to do even if it hurts.  That is called being a strong person....

Answer 8

Look, you need to leave him, if you don't then that just means more disappointment later.  This isn't healthy.  Even if he were to say he was going to change, know better then to believe it.  I really truly feel for you, that just isn't right.  I wish you luck!

Answer 9

LEAVE HIM  he is a scumbag   good men done cheat  and us good women dont deserve that