My husband confessed that he has cheated on me throughout our whole relationship with transsexuals?

Question

He met these people online and he only confessed after i caught him - accidently left his secret hotmail account open one morning... he promised to change and asked for one more chance. I'm really not coping. Ive never had anyone cheat on me before, ive had alot of partners in the past.. i dont know how to move on from it. im still shocked about this transexual thing...ive never been exposed to this and never had a clue he was into this. Worst of all, we have a child together..a 5mth boy and i just hope he can change for our sons sake. I guess, what would you do in my situation? and whats with married men and Trannies?

Answer 1

      I don't think you should let any of the answers affect your decision in how you are going to deal with this. In the end, I'm sure the choice will be your own but i know sometimes people just need some affirmation and sympathy through others' opinions.

       I think you should focus first on how you feel about being cheated on, will you still give him a chance? Then move on to consider about how his sexual orientation might affect things, if you will accept it. However, the most important thing here is if you want this relationship, if you are willing to continue the relationship because that's how strong your love is.

Answer 2

I wouldn't be in that house on the computer  asking anyone anything. I would've gotten my son away from that sick mess the moment I found out.  God only knows what else you don't know. Get out of there! You're probably going to need professional help to get you through this mess. I feel for you.

Answer 3

move out.. he might have contracted sum kind of disease from these transexuals... ewww... u might get infected... ull never know

Answer 4

There's nothing to even think about ..he's done. How could you still want to be with him knowing he had/have this nasty habit...

NO second chances , he's saying that b/c he got caught and NOW he's gonna say he needs help. Let him be with his ''Trannies'', you can find someone who will accept you and your child.

OMG!!! Gross!

Dont get me wrong fanatsys / fetishes but...this one come on.

Answer 5

well, not sure he's going to change. It would take tremendous character and will.

You have two choices, deal with your losses and start preparing to get your own life and leave if you can't accept this part of him. I'm ot saying its right, but I know humans are often creatures of habit and most don't change, just get better at hiding...and after some time that hiding will grow to resentment, etc.

The other thing you can do is try to understand transgender. Frankly, I'd want my man to be pure to me BUT at least it's with other men (who are now girl/girlish). Maybe you can free your spirit and enjoy with him.

You could dress as the man and put him in a dress. You could watch transgender p**n together and then role play, etc.

I believe these physical bodies we have are just shells for our souls. I believe the souls are sexless but can become identified with masculine or feminine traits, etc.

Let your walls down and experiment. What do you have to lsoe, except a husband who''l do it behind your back anyways? He might now find you HOT! And if it really bothers you, then start preparing to leave.

Answer 6

Ugh, God, file 4 divorce. It's just plain out wrong! Is he g*y? Why transexuals?

Answer 7

Okay, i see a couple of red flags here that would make me tempted to leave him. A few thoughts that may sound a bit harsh at first:

1. He lied to you multiple times to do something that it is very clearly is not acceptable (cheating!!)

2. He didn't just happen to cheat on you with a transsexual woman, he cheated on you with multiple transsexual women. "Tranny chasers" are what we call folks who have a 'thing' for transsexuals. Speaking to this from the other side of the fence, having someone attracted to you *because* you are transsexual is really creepy! In my experience, and i've met my fair share of male and female tranny chasers, and they don't love or respect transsexual people -- they don't respect the genders trans people see themselves as, and are somewhat attracted to the fact that they are really ostracized by society. While the chaser might regard this as an appreciation for "difference" or even "taboo" it feels more like an attraction to people they can take advantage of and who are in a vulnerable situation (transition is REALLY hard!!).

The fact that your husband is a tranny chaser does NOT speak well to his personality. The fact that he lied to you doesn't speak well. They both point to someone who wants to take advantage of other people and do whatever he wants for a thrill, other people's feelings be damned.

Unless there's something redeeming about him, you and your kids could be better off without him.

Sorry again if my tranny chaser shpeel sounds harsh. Again, i've just met a lot of them, and have ALWAYS found them to be disrespectful and selfish.

Edit to clarify: Not to say there's anything wrong with dating transsexuals. I've met lots of transsexual folks and almost all of them have been awesome! It's just the fetishizing of transsexuals i find creepy.

And to trans folks reading this: you deserve better!!!

Answer 8

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ewwwwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww leave him alone yuck he has a fetish transsexuals he will never stop he would be history he's sick you will be wasting time staying he will sneak  off with them still

Answer 9

It's called fetish, everyone has them, I got a thing for pretty feet.....Your situation is unfortunately more extreme, but all fetishes can be quelled.  You gotta ask yourself though, if he CAN quell these desires, can you cope with the fact that they are there?  If he NEVER acts on them again, can you forgive and forget?  Thats you first hurdle, jump that one before you run to the next.

Answer 10

OMFG GIRL!  LEAVE HIM!  I COULD UNDERSTAND A WOMEN.  BUT A DUDE THATS SOMETHING WAYYY DIFFERENT.  HES EITHER BI g*y EITHER WAY HES CONFUSED.  LEAVE HIM THATS ALL I GOTTA SAY YES! IT SOUNDS SO EASY. TRUST ME IF IT WAS ME I WOULD AND I HAVE A 12 MONTH OLD AND SHES HARD TO DEAL WITH ALL DAY AND A 5 YEAR OLD.  I WOULDNT CARE THAT WOULD FREAK ME OUT SOO BAD.  ONLY CUZ HE WAS MESSING WITH DUDES.  U CANT CHANGE HIM GIRL U CANT HE MESSED WITH DUDES THATS NOT NORMAL IM TELLING U.  U COULD DO IT ON UR OWN. THERES PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA AND PLENTY THAT WOULDNT MIND U HAVING A BABY.  U COULD DO IT!  STAY STRONG I WILL PRAY YOU.

Answer 11

i would agree with all the responses you got...you should just walk out..giving him a second chance? Are you out of ur mind? U said he's been cheating on u all throughout ur whole relationship...doesn;t that tell you anything? This man is gone! Dont waste your time around him. Get on with ur own life. U have a 5th old to bring up. Good luck.

Answer 12

If I was in your situation, I would leave him! You don't know if he really going to stop doing that or not. Its sad when you have a baby-thank God he's a baby. He messed up because now its going to be hard for you to trust him again.  

Answer 13

And he is still your husband?  I would have been at the lawyers office the first thing the next morning.  You don't need our children to have to deal with him cheating on you and the pain he will cause you.  Move on and protect your children from seeing you go through that pain.  Ask for supervised visits, because your husband does not know how to use his common sense, obviously.  

Answer 14

Adultery are grounds for a divorce.

Answer 15

Turn off your pc or laptop and leave asap!

That is beyond wrong lol

wow!

Answer 16

Leave him. once a cheater, always a cheater!!

Answer 17

Leave him alone NOW!!! He can't change. He is attracted to men and you can't compete with that. He will just learn to hide his addiction better. Leave now so you both can be happy without each other.  

Answer 18

Your husband is obviously confused about his sexuality which I should imagine has made him very unhappy. It is possible that he is g*y but that he loves you and is happy being married and living an outwardly normal life. I can imagine that you are shocked and have no idea where to turn. I have no experience of this but I am pretty sure that if my wonderful husband was doing this that I wouldn't leave him without a great deal of talking, after all these 'relationships' are unlikely to be emotional, only sexual and I believe I would feel less threatened by them. There are likely to be support groups for other women in your position, and I vote that they are the best place to head. Your husband may not be able to suppress these 'needs' for ever, you may mutually decide that you can remain together...or not...but you need to do alot of talking to alot of people who have experienced this before either of you make a life changing decision. Good luck.

Answer 19

What exactly has to happen for you to get the point that this guy has, is and will still be cheating on you?

He has fulfilled a part of him, all this time he has cheated, that had not been fulfilled in your own relationship with him.

It's become a habit and lifestyle for him.  He's built relationships and cutting it off completely NEVER works for anything, for anyone.

Do you trust him to quit cold turkey and stop?  

Are you concerned about him bringing home STDs and other diseases he might pick up from these people?  It was the FIRST concern on my mind, for your health and then that of the baby's.

This kind of lifestyle is becoming more widely accepted by society, alternative lifestyles are being introduced by the g*y/transgendered/transsexual community into all aspects of our society in their amendments to state laws...are you willing to perpetuate the acceptance of such decrepit morality?

If you can see a future, in which your son learns in school that choosing a transsexual lifestyle is OK, how could you answer his questions on that matter when you live with a man that lives that lifestyle in secret from the one he has committed to live with you?

Answer 20

That's just sick. He's obviously a closet g*y. I seriously doubt your marriage can survive this. UNLESS you learn to accept him for what he is.

If you are Catholic, his actions are already grounds for annulment.

Answer 21

He is Bi simply put he likes men and women and s***w all that I would be getting a divorce when I caught one of my exs looking at men online I was done and it was over with.