My husband encourages my kids to not wear helmets?

Question

I have always had my kids(9 and 4) wear helmets when they ride a bike or scooter. They just do it as a routine, and only rarely complain about it. The helmets (and knee pads for 4 yr old) are stored right next to bikes and scooters. My husband always suggests that helmets are for sissies. And, at the most they are needed only if the kids are riding the bike on a city street.

so, yesterday evening I go out for back-to-school shopping. I come back, and see my kids (one on bike, one on scooter) have no helmets on. I asked them why. Turns out, the older one wanted dad to loosen the helmet strap a bit, and the younger one just needed help fastening the buckle. My husband actually told them to put back the helmets on the shelf, and go ride without them on the sidewalks.

our street has uneven sidewalks, big trees, and cars backing out of driveways, and sometimes the kid ride in the street to avoid sprinklers.

I was really mad. I called both my kids to me. Knelt down next to them, and told them "never ever ride without a helmet. Not even if any grownup tells you it is OK to do so. Always ride with a helmet or play with something else".

My husband is very angry that I questioned his decision in front of the kids. I told him "We have had this discussion so many times, and this is one area of parenting where my decision applies. I have trained the kids to wear helmets always, and they follow this rule happily. All you have to do is help them with helmet if needed. I have no other option but to tell them that they are to wear helmets even if you say it is OK not to'.

I don't know what else I can do other than tell my kids to insist on helmets even if dad says to not wear them. other than this issue, we are very good in backing up each other as parents.

is it too much to expect my husband to support me in this? especially, since I have taught my kids to always wear helmets. why does he go and actually discourage them from wearing them when I'm not around?

Answer 1

What your husband personally chooses to do is his own decision. He can go without a helmet. Children should NEVER go without one. Traumatic brain injury is on the rise in America and it is no joke. It is permanent, crippling, and devastating to families financially, physically and emotionally. The human brain is frail. All it takes is one small fall. Even a fall in a bathtub. Tell him, "Sissies" can end up with quadriplegia.  

Answer 2

until your kids are 15, it's illegal for them not to where helmets. Or maybe you want to show your husband what can happen when a kid isn't wearing a helmet and some bad happens.  

Answer 3

You need to sit down with your husband and have a serious discussion about this.  I don't know where you live, but where I do, its the law that children riding bikes wear helmets.  Your husband should support you 100% on this - its for your children's safety!!  He should be more concerned with their health and well being than how they look.  How unbelievably shallow and selfish of him.  And if he is going to give the argument to you that you questioned his decision - give it right back to him!  He questioned YOUR decision and basically undermined you as a mother when from day one you have been firm the rules are they have to wear a helmet - and he knows this and tells them to do the opposite!!!

Talk to your husband - this is non-negotiable in my mind.  While you're at it, I'd talk about other issues you may run into raising kids that will be teenagers all too soon..... if you guys are not on the same page, it'll be a rough several years.  Good luck!!

Answer 4

Could it be because he rode with out a helment once too often? Only thing to do is teach the kids to wiser than their father.

Answer 5

Can you show your kids video of bike races from the Olympics (check youtube) or somewhere else?  All of those professional athletes wear helmets.  

My son (12) has fallen off of or lost control of his bake so many times it's crazy.  He's gotten stitches 3X on his face (twice chin and once forehead) and one time his head hit the pavement so hard it cracked and made a 1 inch dent in his helmet.  Could you imagine if he had not been wearing it?  

He knows how to ride safely but the streets are not always clear from sand that is slippery and you never know when you'll get cut off by a dog, a car or another cyclist.  

You're absolutely right in this matter, you're husband is being an idiot.  Sorry, but it's really irresponsible of him.

***Just thought of this...is there a law requiring kids to wear helmets where you are?  My city (not sure if it's province-wide) requires children under 13 to wear a helmet while biking or rollerblading.

Answer 6

Have your husband read the below statistics.  And then tell him if he can't support you on this decision then he just needs to butt out.  

There are 85 million bicycle riders in the US.

770 bicyclists died on US roads in 2006, down just 14 from the year before. Over 90 percent died in crashes with motor vehicles.

The "typical" bicyclist killed on our roads is a sober male over 16 not wearing a helmet riding on a major road between intersections in an urban area on a summer evening when hit by a car.

About 540,000 bicyclists visit emergency rooms with injuries every year. Of those, about 67,000 have head injuries, and 27,000 have injuries serious enough to be hospitalized.

Bicycle crashes and injuries are under-reported, since the majority are not serious enough for emergency room visits. 44,000 cyclists were reported injured in traffic crashes in 2006.

1 in 8 of the cyclists with reported injuries has a brain injury.

Two-thirds of the deaths here are from traumatic brain injury.

A very high percentage of cyclists' brain injuries can be prevented by a helmet, estimated at anywhere from 45 to 88 per cent.

Direct costs of cyclists' injuries due to not using helmets are estimated at $81 million each year.

Indirect costs of cyclists' injuries due to not using helmets are estimated at $2.3 billion each year.

Helmet use in the US varies by orders of magnitude in different areas and different sectors of our society. White collar commuters probably reach 80 per cent, while inner city kids and rural kids would be 10 per cent or less. Overall, our best wild guess is probably no more than 25 per cent. Sommers Point, NJ, where a state helmet law is in effect, found that only 24 of the 359 students who rode to school in one week of the Winter of 2002 wore helmets (6 per cent) until the School District adopted a helmet rule. North Carolina observed 17 per cent statewide before their law went into effect in 2001.

Helmets are cheap. The typical discount store price has risen from under $10 to about $20, but there are still models available for under $10 at major national retailers including Target and Wal-Mart.

Answer 7

No it is not too much to expect your husband to support you in that! Not wearing a helmet is a bad habit to get into, my dad is 50 and still wears his helmet every time he goes for a bike ride. If they don't wear helmets now, what about when they get old enough to ride motorcycles and don't wear them? It's incredibly dangerous and I agree with you on making sure they wear the helmets.

So many kids get seriously injured from a small bike accident.

Answer 8

Your husband is a wise man. You dont want to raise a pack of girly kids do you?

Answer 9

Ask your husband if he would like a tour of the Pediatric ICU, to see all the kids with permanent, crippling brain injuries who didn't wear helmets.

If he doesn't want a tour, ask how he would like to visit HIS kids in a long term care facility, for THE REST OF THEIR LIFE!!

I know two grownups, and one kid, who fell off bikes [ without a car accident ] and got concussions.

One of the guys has a SKIN GRAFT, with a huge bald spot, on the side of his head.

I walk up to kids I don't know, and fix their helmets.[ They are supposed to go on foreheads, about one inch over eyes.]

I had brain surgery, for an aneurysm [ congenital ] and do not want anyone to have brain surgery or injury!

Answer 10

Your husband is a fool.  The statistics speak for themselves on head injuries from self propelled vehicles.

He is probably the same sort who thinks you should just dust off a sandwich after dropping it on the ground, thinks drinking off other peoples drinks is ok, and doesnt believe it neccessary to wash your hands after using the bathroom.

Answer 11

i had the same type of issue with my bf about baby-proofing our home. you didn't expect the kids to roll up into bubble wrap, you expected them to do something very simple which could help save their lives. your husband is probably under the impression that since we didn't do it when we were kids and we turned out fine, so will your kids. he just doesn't know that when we were all kids there were a lot of head injuries to children from bicycles and skateboards. i say just stick to your guns and let him know that this is one issue that you will not be backing down on.

Answer 12

Does you husband want your children to be in an accident that permantly gives them brain damage and a life long disability? Does he want them to possibly die? I dont get that.

Tell your husband to give his head a shake and not wearing a helmet is not an option, EVER.

print this off for husband to read

http://www.helmets.org/stats.htm

Answer 13

You are so right.  I hate it when I see parents in our neighborhood riding around without them.  I think parents should wear them too.

Answer 14

I do encourage my 6 year-old to wear a helmet, whether it will prevent a cracked skull at least I've done my part.

A couple of years ago, my friend's son (9 yrs old) was riding his bike and was hit by a car. That little fellow ended up in coma for 2 months and miraculously came out.

Tell your husband, or show pictures of children who has not worn a helmet, what it could do to them.