My husband ended the marriage. He's seeing another woman whilst still iving with me?!?

Question

i cant take it. I have a mortgage with him etc & we have been together 4 13yrs. He's told met hat he shouldnt have married me. I accidently looked at his phone and the text messages were so explicit that ive been throwing up ever since.

I am on antidepressants as of last week. I just cant stay here whilse the house gets sold. I have no freinds that I can go to. as they all have small babies.

He wont agree to rent the house and so I feel like I got no option but to cut and run!!!

Please can I have some words of encouragement. I am feeling so very ill!

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear that. It sounds like me when my silly husband cheated with some hussie. I vomited, quit my job, put off a semester of school and ran off to the next state. I had to get away. You just can't be in that environment or you'll never heal to get stronger. You need companions, someone in person whose shoulder you can cry on. You really need more than Cyb support. Forget about all the assets as long as you can hold it off. Your mental health comes first. And don't think it has anything to do with you. I constantly thought about what did the other woman have that I didn't. Well, my husband and I reconciled and are back together. The flick only lasted 2months before he dropped her. Have you heard of the 80/20 rule? A man will only get 80% of what he need from his relationship and another woman will come around offering 20%. That 20% looks really good b/c he's not getting it. And in the end he doesn't realize he lost out on the better half. Lady keep your head above water. Try to lay off antidepressants and use your will power to get over this. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. And believe in the golden rule " do unto others as you would want done unto you. The way he's hurting you will never serve him any good.- You have my condolences

Answer 2

first off you sound like a drama queen you allowing yourself to be tortured by the things that he is doing and he knows it . but i have a question why are you going through his phone you are divorced so whatever he does is none of your business and 2. maybe you should try getting out and having some fun instead of sitting in the house getting all worked up about what he's doing because obviously he has moved on and you don't have to live in the house while the house is on the market get out and get you a apartment till it sells and maybe you get a attorney to make him buy you out of the house or better yet draft up some sort of paper that he had to give you half of the sales of the house and get your own place

Answer 3

yep get a lawyer as soon as you can don't wait until he makes up his mind you do it! show him you are no fool! good luck!

Answer 4

Oh goodness, what a terrible situation. While no words can comfort you or rid you of your pain at the moment, I can say this: he truly doesnt deserve your tears.

I would suggest using his credit card to get yourself a nice hotel room for a weekend of relaxation. Watch movies about women who have overcome being dumped (Legally Blonde is a cute one), treat yourself to a bubble bath, and try to see that just because he doesn't appreciate you - it doesn't mean that nobody ever will. You CAN SURVIVE THIS!

I realize you may not have the $ to stay for long in a hotel but get yourself out of the house for a couple of days if you can.

Get in touch with a lawyer to see what legal actions can be taken once you are able to.

It is terrible when things like this happen. You are not alone. Other women have had to endure this kind of pain before and although it may be hard to believe now, you will look back on this 10 years from now and feel stronger as a result. Good luck - stay strong. You will be ok.  

Answer 5

Lawyer up, move out and take him for everything he has. Just like every other woman does.

Answer 6

Talk to a lawyer BEFORE you move out.   Leaving prematurely could be turned against you in court...  

Answer 7

Baby, you have got to get down on your knees and pray to God to give you strength, wisdom, and endurance.  This is the time that you have to turn to your faith in Him to make it through this.  Go and see a lawyer that does free consultations to discuss your options.  The power is not all in his hands, but you must try to get yourself together so he won't completely take everything.

Answer 8

You need to get a lawyer asap.

You need to find out what your rights are....and make sure he doesn't take advantage of you.

Try to look at it this way.....what kind of man is he really? He married a woman he says he never loved....and cheated on her while still in the marriage.

He's not someone I would want to be married to.

Answer 9

After 13 years  your response is normal.  Where do you live?  Check into support and single groups in your area. Try going to church the encouragement you will find in church will be great for you.  Right now you need people around you that have been through similar situations.  It will get better with time.  There are also some really good books out there to help you through this.  Iyanla Vanzant is one of many that writes about this.  Do you have children?  This may also be a good time to think about relocating and to reinvent yourself. But, I would suggest to get a lawyer if you don't already have one.  In a bad divorce that is always best. You  can email me if you want to talk more.  

Answer 10

You need to move out

Answer 11

Who would of thought that 13 years ago you married an asole,we all think that after something like this happens,I don't blame you for wanting to cut and run,Ive been in your boat,the good news is that there are people out there that will love you for who you are,it will take a while for you to get back on your feet financially and mentally but you will get there,so run girl,the sooner the better

Answer 12

You need to get a lawyer ASAP. And another thing ...when I say this I'm not trying to be disrespectful to anything , BUT you don't accidentally look into his phone. You already knew what you were looking for , because you had reason to believe something was going on.

You should get a good divorce lawyer and do what is right for you.Good Luck

Answer 13

You need to just go, none of these things that are happening to you are right. You say you have no where to go but you do, go to a womens shelter, if you don't know where any are or need help finding recsources just open the phone book, find a church and call them, the pastor or pastors will help you and find you somewhere to go and help find you resources to get you back on your feet. You deserve better!! get off this computer and get going now!!! anywhere!!