My husband got caught w/weed ..should I stay w/him??? (? previously asked)?

Question

He was in jail b/4 once in 1995 for drug charges. It might sound crazy but he is a good man with a big heart and I love him very much . He has been trying hard to get a job and no one wants to hire him. I go to school full time and work part time. He does autobody here and there for people he knows. It's been real tough. He just decided 4 months ago to sell on the side for extra money. I don't agree and keep telling him to quit. Last night he was caught w/an ounce of weed and $500 to bail him out. His court date is in 3 weeks. I'm pretty sure he will go to jail. We have a 2 year old together (he never does it in front of him). I married him for better or worse but I don't know if I should stay by his side or move on.. he promised he would quit... please help

* 18 minutes ago

* - 1 week left to answer.

Additional Details

5 minutes ago

my husband had a good under the table job but got laid off. We both got laid off at the same time. Fixing cars for people we know can be very slow at times. I'm not trying to defend him I know he is wrong for selling drugs. My husband is a family man and has never cheated on me . When he worked he would give me all his money. This is why it's hard to decide

Answer 1

The economy is hard on all of us . Times suck today you know that as well as i do . There are some in this world that doesn,t see it that way and never will because they had better fortune in there lives . You two seem to do what ever you can to keep your family going so that,s not a bad thing but you guys really need to find a better way to do it . Being you have a computer try making money on line like craigslist or something that isn,t going to get you into trouble .  

Answer 2

Sad.....

Answer 3

Your husband isn't going to make his employment situation any better by continuing to sell drugs.  This will only lead him to more legal trouble, thus making him even more undesirable for employment.  Think about this for a second.  What will you do when your home is invaded by police carrying out a drug bust?  This is a very real possibility.  If you're home when it happens, you will be arrested along with your husband and your child will be taken to a foster home.  If you don't think that this is a real possibility then you're nuts.  I don't care how much you love your husband, you must put your child first in this situation.  Get the h**l out of there until he gets his life together.  You don't need to risk your child being harmed or placed in the custody of the state.  If you do, you are a negligent parent in my opinion.

Answer 4

I dont do drugs, dont take drugs and dont condone drugs. That said, youhave to do what you have to do in order to survive. Its a bullshit system where the people with money prosper and the ones who need it get little or no breaks. From what your saying - hes a good guy with a good heart and sounds like al he really wants to do is take care of you both and he'll risk whatever he needs to do in order to do it. Its not like hes selling a drug that brings misery to people, like coke or heroine hes just trying to hustle a little to make ends meet?

Appeal any decision by the court, write letter to your local governing body and make sure your voice is heard as to why he did this. Perhaps he could look at buying a cheap banger, do it up and sell it and move into buying repairing and selling cars. As preffered to just repairs. If no one will hire him....encourage him to make his own way, maybe start his own garage, business start up. Theres grants and help available, finding it is the hard part. Ask on here. Goodluck, hope you all are well.

Answer 5

Yes, stay with him.

Answer 6

Huh?....You think hes gonna do time for an ounce of weed???? NO, not unless he has serious priors. Dont stress it too much...so, hes made a mistake. You say hes a faithful family man...Im here to tell u--those are HARD to find. If you cant be his backbone for a simple lil weed charge, then it shows ur marriage is not a solid one. Im not saying he was right, but its certainly no reason to bail on him.

Good Luck to you and your stoner ;)

Answer 7

First talk to him and make him understand that you are scared of what's he doing on the side and you want him around for his son and you. If he keep this up you going to leave him. Not because you don't love him because you don't want to go to jail to because one day he can be selling out the house and both of you can go to jail and what will happened to your son.

Answer 8

Most good jobs require drug testing.  Obviously he chose weed over that.  He chose weed after promising you that he wouldn't.  He is going to jail because he chose weed.  That leaves you and the kids out in the cold.  There are plenty of good men out there that actually take responsibility for their lives and loved ones.  Your husband is not one of them.  Dump the loser as quick as you can.  You will be better off in the long run.  

Answer 9

Well my husband lost his job in 2006. He was making $50. an hour. After 6 months he still could not find a job in his field. He took a job making $15 an hour. You do what you have to do to support your family legally. So you quit fixing cars and find something else.

Answer 10

If you stay with him you are giving your child a clear message that it is okay to do drugs.

Looks like he will be leaving you soon anyway if he goes to jail - so did he consider this before he started dealing?

Tell him that as long as he is involved with drugs you cannot have a relationship with him.

Look after your kid and yourself. He isn't doing a good job he has left you all alone.

He has cheated on you - he lied to you - and has also put you and your kid in danger - how many times have you read about women and kids being murdered with no apparant reason? As the wife and child of a drug dealer you are a target for anyone who has an argument with him - he sells on their territory - they attack his wife and kids.

And one day the social services may decide you are an unfit mother leaving your children in a house full of drugs and addicts - and then you will lose your kid too!

Get out now - when he leaves jail he'll have even more druggy friends and contacts - GO!

Answer 11

Yeah..great family man...how much of his drug dealing supplied kids???  Sorry...but jail time for pushing drugs would be a deal breaker for me.  You should be providing a better life for your son than this .

Answer 12

the morally right thing to do would be to STAY. he's obviously trying to make a little something extra so he can provide better for you and your daughter. give the guy a break. ITS JUST A PLANT LIKE ANY OTHER TREE. that would be like leaving him because he smokes tobacco(another plant)... nevertheless he said he would quit...dont cause all this trouble for your daughter such as divorcing because of a little weed.

Answer 13

for better or for worse, stick with him, but tell him its the drugs or you. make him stop by going to narcotics aa .

Answer 14

If i were you i would break up with him. The first reason is he is doing illegal stuff. The second  reason is that what happens if he traps you into doing illegal stuff.

Answer 15

Stay with him and always remember he is doing that selling drugs for easy money.  Talk to him you don't need that kind of work. Tell him you can survive more if he will get a descent job to earn for your kids but not from drugs. Explain to him how many families he is getting into trouble when he sells drugs.  Make him guilty, tell him the effect to the families of people concern.

Answer 16

These days its hard to get a job. I have a college education and still have problems finding a job. You got to do what you got to do to get an income. If hes a good man and treats you right then I wouldnt leave him.

Answer 17

Its totally up to you!! If you want to stay or move on!!!  I would never do this to a beautiful woman/wife!!  If my wife is a very beautiful woman, I would make damm sure to take good care of her and built a beautiful house for her and the kiddos!!!!!!

Answer 18

miss, you agreed to him doing that and now you are renigging on what you agreed to, if you really love him you'll stick by his side. i don't condone it but , he was doing what he felt he had to do to help support his family. If you didn't have a problem spending drug money there should be NO question in your mind about standing by your husband through THICK AND THIN!  

Answer 19

STAND BY YOUR MAN, HE WOULD BE THEIR FOR YOU!!!!!

Answer 20

Of course you should stand by him. He is a good man at heart and you can help him to get on his feet again. You also seem to be a good type of woman. Do not give up on him yet.

He sold drugs because no one would give him a job. I would probably do  the same if I was starving on the pavement.