My husband had an affair while on deployment and the girl is now pregnant? What am I to do?

Question

My husband is in the military and while he was on his long tour he met a girl and had a brief affair. The girl is now pregnant and due at the end of August. She is also military. My husband and I are going to stay married and attempt to pull through this situation together. She is constantly calling our home, where my husband, myself and our two children live, and she is also always blackmailing us with threats to call his first shirt, but she has already called him and told him of the situation. She wants 500.00 a month in child support, which we in no way can afford. My husband made a huge mistake and we are now living with the repercussions of his negative actions. I am going to stand by him and we will deal with this together. Does anyone have any suggestions, opinions, or unfortunatley have any experience with this type of situation? I am just concerned for my husband, my children, and the baby that is soon to be born into a situation it never asked for. I just need some answers.

Answer 1

oh wow...I have not any experience in courts or child support...but unless she takes him to court she cannot force him into paying the monthly fee of child support. Many states are different in the payment of child support so when she takes you to court I imagine the support money will be at least three hundred a month...Not anywhere near 5. Your hubby will also have visitation rights I assume...Will you be able to handle this situation also?..........Good Luck

Answer 2

push her down some stairs...

Answer 3

let her make the call

an article 15 and being knocked down a rank is less than what she is asking for

she knew he was married what a s***k

Answer 4

First, I am very proud of you for trying to make things work for your family rather than just give up. I think that you need to get an attorney as your husband will not automatically have rights to the child. Assuming that he wants to be a part of the childs life. He will have to pay child support but that is figured according to guidelines. I would also suggest a paternity test as you don't know that she wasn't sleeping with someone else. If your husband claims the child and it ends up not being his he will still be responsible for the child.

Answer 5

First of all, start recording her blackmail messages ....blackmail is against the law. Contact a lawyer and find out what you can do legally.  Next, I'm sure he is going to want a paternity test done before he commits anything to her.   Hopefully., your husband was honest with you about what he told this girl as far as being with her.  Is it possible he is only telling you one thing so you won't leave and telling her another?   Make sure he's being honest with you about EVERYTHING.  I hope everything works out with you!

Answer 6

Hi. First of all you have to realize this woman will be the mother of your husband's child. This means she'll always be in his life, wether you want it or not. Your husband should be man enough to handle the situation, get a lawyer, and take care of the settlement.

I wish you all the best of luck

Answer 7

my man did the same thing, although he wasnt in the military, he slept with my best friend, got her pregnant,  and it sucked. theres nothing you can really do but move on, i hate to say it but if you love him then eventually youll have to let it go and forgive him.

Answer 8

WOW,  you are a very good woman for trying to keep your family together. Now if you two have made the decision to stay together, well...you can start by asking her to stop calling or you will be calling the police and filling a Restraining Order against her, it is better if your husband is the one ASKING her this (and make sure you are with him when he talks to her), if she keeps calling....well file the restraining order.

In order for her to request Child Support she would need to establish paternity, and this is something that needs to be order by the court, IF SHE does this, then...make sure your husband and you go to court with all your Income documents, because the Judge will take in consideration his income and your expenses, It's not like she can ask the judge for any amount and the Judge would conquer with her, so don't worry about that yet.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Answer 9

It's best to get a lawyer and prove paternity then draw up custody/child support paperwork so that she can no longer blackmail your husband.  If it helps my ex had to pay $385 for 2 kids so there's no way she'll get 500 for one.  You don't say where you are but there should be payment guidelines that are based on income.  Good luck and I commend you for standing by your husband during this difficult time.