My husband has a secret cell phone, how do I respond?

Question

I've suspected for months that my husband has had a secret cell phone and not told me about it. Finally he got careless about covering it up and I now have it in my possession (he doesn't know). It needs an unlock code so I can't access anything on it but just the fact he kept it from me makes me upset. Especially since I am not permitted to have one myself. Since we are vehicle-less and we have horrible public transit, I've been stranded in 110 degree heat (Phoenix) several times with two small children and have had to walk miles to find a phone. It just makes me so irritated. Where do I go from here?

Answer 1

when spouses have secrets from each other it is no longer a trust worthy relationship. I suggest you let him know you have it, ask him why then talk about trust.

secrets and lack of trust is very destroying to a relationship. trust is very hard to earn back once it is lost...

you both need to talk about this.

Answer 2

call him from an unknown # and see what he is up to. this is just wrong.

Answer 3

Get out of the house for a while and keep the phone with you. Wait for it to ring and then answer it. Find out that way who it is that has access to that cell number and why. And if it's him that calls, say hey honey guess what I found a cell phone and seeing as I've wanted one for so long I'm going to keep it!

Answer 4

Sorry for you and the kids in that heat. Speaking of weather, i,d call every State Capitol and ask about the weather there. Wait until he gets the bill. Then go and get a phone of yor own. Good luck!

Answer 5

Go to the cell phone provider and ask for a record of the calls made to and from that phone. Make sure you have proof that you are married to him and they should reveal all calls. At that point you can look to see if any of those calls are repetetive and confront your husband. Be sure to write down the numbers before you show him just in case he grabs it and destroys it. Or you can make a copy in which you don't tell him about. If he has no good answer for why those calls were made or if you still don't trust him, go to a phone with a different number or if possible, even a different area code. Call the number to see who answers. If it is a woman you pretty much know. You can howeversay that he put them down as a reference for a job or credit card and you just needed to confirm that you DID know him. If they answer yes, then ask, "and what is your relation to him'? Many times they will say, "I am his girlfriend". Then you got him cold! BTW, same **** happened to my sister. Her husband got 'busted'.  :)

Answer 6

Stick it in the microwave on high for 30 seconds then put it back where you found it. He won't know you killed it but he won't be using it again.

Edit: I forgot to mention that then you should wait until he's asleep then superglue the head of his p***s to his bellybutton. That'll learn him.

Answer 7

You go to a lawyers office and dump this joker who is getting his jollies while you stay home and take care of his kids.  Make sure you get child support!

Answer 8

I don't really know what you should do. But I know what I would do, and it wouldn't be nice! You can't say those things on here. But let me know what you do end up doing. I am so sorry. You might consider  getting rid of it, in front of him. Anyways, I would be really mad!

Answer 9

OUCH, that has to hurt! And AZ heat, OMG I feel for you!!

Your gonna have to find a way to bust into that phone for your own sanity. OBVIOUSLY hes cheating, but to what degree???

Try calling the phone company (based on the TYPE of phone it is) and give his private date (b/day, soc sec, address etc..) and see if you can convince them that you would like them to reset the code for you!! Im SURE they can help!!

Answer 10

I would confront him about it.

Answer 11

People may say "stay calm".. " Talk to him. "

Um. No. You have all right to be mad and you should let him know. Thats completly unfair of him to do!

You deserve better.

A secret cellphone is bad too btw. Cheating is probaly involved, no offense.

I'm sorry your husband's like that. Its terrible.!

Answer 12

I would try to figure out the code...try last 4 of his SSN or the last 4 digits of the phone number..

I would be furious..

Answer 13

The only way to go from here is to bring it to him, make him unlock it in front of you then have a look through it to see what he's trying to keep hidden from you. I'd be mighty suspicious in the same situation.

Answer 14

A secret cell phone? This relationship is a recipe for disaster. Not only is he cheating on you but he is also putting you and your children in danger. If you can't afford cell phones for both of you then neither of you should have one. However, if you BOTH agree to have 1 cell phone in the family, for safety, then it wouldn't be a secret.

The sooner you confront him, the sooner you will have answers. I wouldn't turn over the cell phone before he unlocks it and shows you the contents though or you will never have the answers you need and then were will your trust be?

Answer 15

Wow, honey, he sounds controlling and you should maybe reassess your relationship. He won't "permit" you to have a cell phone? There are brands that are not too expensive. Who is he calling on this secret cell phone, if not you? How is he paying for it? With money that should be supporting his family??

You do not deserve to be treated this way and a controlling man really does not make a happy and healthy home. I'm worried for you and your kids. Talk to your friends/family, as there are other things to consider. Good luck...

Answer 16

Break it on accident.

You know on "Accident"

or get the number and call him or have a relative call him or one of your friends and put him on speaker lol.

Umm

*move in to whisper to you

He is cheating. Classic move. You get a prepaid phone to cheat with.

Answer 17

Don't do anything rash for you might push him away. Calmly explain to your husband you found his phone and you want to know why he has it and what he uses it for with the intention not to start a big confrontation with him, and if one breaks out don't let it blow out to far out of proportion. I say the last step if this doesn't work, try a marriage counsel.

Answer 18

No brainer....He's absolutely positively without a doubt CHEATING! Don't ever ever ever ever return that cell phone!

Answer 19

odd that he doesn't let you have a phone??? Tell him you have found it. And get one for yourself as well. He has not right to tell you that you can't have one.

Answer 20

why do you need "permission" to keep a cell phone? seems like you're too submissive and he's a jerk. apologies if i sound rude but you have to confront him gal. and if he doesn't give you the pin code n doesn't come clean about the whole situation you need to get out of this relationship. what r the possible reasons for him to keep a secret cell phone. only one reason comes to mind coz he's probably not using it to call you or his parents or siblings. so it seems like he's talking to some other gal or gals. first of all, try to get the pin code from him. don';t show him the cell phone. keep it at a safe place preferably away from your home so he can't get his hands on it. then ask him to come clean and tell you the pin code or you'll get someone to find out the pin code some how. chances are that he won't give you the code. if he doesn't, tell him that you're gonna get someone to break his code and then you're gonna have your own cell phone from now on. and he can't stop you from doing anything from now on. after that you have to decide that can you live with a guy like him or not? be very realistic and carefully weigh the pros and cons and then decide. good luck! (btw i also feel sometimes that my hubby is keeping a secret cell phone to keep in touch with his old galfriends. but i never found any evidence of the cell phone. the day i find out, i'll do the same i wrote above and have a huge fight with him i guess) ;) ... good luck  

Answer 21

i would go to a shelter. you don't have trust, and this man is doing bad things. you don't go through the trouble of getting another "secret" cell phone unless you are up to no good. how he is treating you is completely unfair. you deserve more.