My husband has a son that he has not seen in two years no contact with him what so ever due to his ex?

Question

He doesn't know if the kid is his and he keeps putting off gettig a dna test done now for three years the kid doesn't see him as his dad and he would be five? Should this effect my desicon to have a child of our own? or am i being silly?

Answer 1

Listen Im telling you right now that any man who doesnt take responcibility for his child and fight for that child is not morally right enough for me to have children with. Thank god your in the position where you can decide if you want to have kids with this man because so many women end up getting pregnant with deatbeat fathers babies and are stuck with them. If he could care less about his Child, I dont know why you would think yours is going to be different. You are not being silly and dont think that because you have his baby h**l change, cause more than likely if he hasnt changed for his own child hes not gonna change for you. My daughters father didnt care for kids much and I thought it would be different since we had her but its not. Hes in and out, not around much and its painful to see her go through that and I wish I could go back and find her another dad. I cant but you have a choice, make the right one. My friend just had a baby and her sons father wasnt in his other daughters life much and now that they broke up hes not around much either. Its always when you guys break up that youll see the real deal.

Answer 2

I think your husband is a dead beat! Get a dna test done...Its only a couple hundred if done by yourself! Would I have a child with this "man" h**l NO!

Your husband has a responsibility to that child! You do know that if he is on the birth certificate and the child being almost five..He is basically the father unless the mother says other wise...The law doesnt want to take a father away....

Answer 3

there is a funny thing about kids...  you cant just walk away from them.  If you can walk away from one, i bet you can walk away from another.  My husband could not leave my kids for a minute.  If you thought u had a kid, wouldnt you see it?  He obviously knows it is his, or he would have had the dna test done a long time ago.  could you go that long without knowing if you had a kid?

If you have a child with this man, plan on the same thing happening to you.  If that doesnt bother you, then go for it.  But chances are, it will.  

Also, he cannot say "she wont let me see him, wah wah wah"  If he wanted to see his child, he could take his x to court and he would get visitations.  They might be supervised, they might be once a month, but he would get something.  So just know that its not just her saying "no", because he could say "watch this" if he wanted too...

Answer 4

Don't even for a minute think that you shouldn't have kids with this man. If you love him then you've married him and that means you should feel comfortable having kids with him. Just because he may have some contact with his ex on his child's behalf does not mean it's the end of the world. You should feel comfortable enough to have kids with him. It is a little silly of you to think that it's not okay.

Answer 5

You absolutely SHOULD NOT have kids with him. No disrespect but your husband is a classic deadbeat and should be ashamed of himself for not getting a DNA. Is he trying to avoid Child support? Well that's even worse at least he could say I send money to help my child. I would give him a little credit but he hasn't seen him been in contact with him or nothing. If I was you I would stay on top of my birth control!

Answer 6

Personally I think it's sad that he hasn't seen the boy in 2 years and is putting off the test. If it meant that much to him he'd find the money some how and push for visitation. I would be concerned about having a baby with him, because who knows if you and your baby will be in the same position the boy and his ex are in now? Really only you know what the real deal is, and I am complete stranger, but that's my 2 cents!

Answer 7

I don't know...does he pay support for this unknown child?  If not that could be why he doesn't want to take the DNA test.  If it is a match the ex can tap him for child support if the child has been supported on welfare the Government can come to him for repayment as well.  So...if he is unwilling to take a DNA based upon that I would think twice about having a child with a many who wouldn't support his child...no matter what he feels about his ex and what she feels about him.

Answer 8

No offense but your husband is a deadbeat peice of sh*t if he thinks that child might be his and he isn't involved in his life. Don't have kids with him- he might not even stick around.

Answer 9

YES IT SHOULD! He's not a good father

Answer 10

Why would you wanna be and have kids with someone like him? That's terrible. He will so the same to you.