My husband has child like fears.. what can I do to help him overcome them?

Question

He is scared of thunder and lightening......he won't go outside after the first drop of rain!!

He is scared of bugs, especially spiders!!

I want him to be a good example for our 11 month old daughter and our future kids. It isn't his own fault, his mother babied her 3 sons and now they have "built-in" faults!! lol........ but i really want him to overcome his fears!! But, how can i do it without hurting his feelings and his ego?????????????????

Answer 1

i think everyone have his own kinda fear!

so live with it!

the daughter wont get the fear if your brave enought to teach her that there is nothing to be scared of!

Answer 2

work through it with him if hes afraid to go outside when its raining go with him this will give him a sense of security and the spider thing always keep a can of bug spray in the house that way he can kill them without getting close. hope this helped

Answer 3

use reverse pshycology and call him a b!+@h and tell him hes not a man and maybe h**l go on the offensive and confront eveything hes afraid of

Answer 4

Well. there is nothing wrong with being afraid of lightning and thunder.  Personnally, I love it when there is a thunderstorm.  Mosty ppl are afraid of spiders, I am somewhat afraid. I have to kill them when I see them like in the shower but overall they are ok and if you want to cure him of his phobias, then slowly introduce him to them and work your way up to where he is comfortable around spiders, or walking outside when it rains

Answer 5

You can't expect him to just instantly get over his fears, it'll take a little time. Show him there's nothing to be afraid of. Spiders are more afraid of us than we are of them because they think we might kill them. We're just afraid of the way they look or their crawliness. Try to get him near a harmless bug, such as a ladybug or ant, and make him comfortable aroung the bug at least. Then, get him to become up close with the tiny insect and maybe even touch it, once he's ready and all.

For every five seconds between a bolt of lightening and thunder is how far away the thunderstorm is in miles(5 sec=mile) so when there is one really far away, try to get him to go outside and show him that nothing will happen. Go out in the rain, it's fun :)

Make him realize there's nothing to fear by doing all the things that make him cringe and scared even more. He can't live life being so paranoid of these things.

For his ego, well, do it privately. Set these examples at home. He doesn't have a very strong ego if he's afraid of a thunderstorm. But things like fear of spiders are normal, don't worry. So even if he can't completely overcome it, be happy if he's made any progression at all.

Answer 6

WOW, didn't you know this when you married him? It's a little late now to make major changes in your husband without him resenting you for it.

I suggest learning to accept him for what he is..

Answer 7

Facing his fears will be the best cure. Start out by planting fake spiders around the house, progressing to a giant real terantula (de-clawed) in his bed....over time he will get used to it then when he sees a small spider he won't get scared! As for the lightening, maybe you can move to a place where it doesn't rain often, or how about rent movies that have rain but no lightening without letting him know. After watching many such movies, you can point out a pattern that no harm came to the characters when it rained, even when they were out in the rain. Maybe Dancing in the Rain would be a good one to start with, or even Charlotte's Web is another good one you can watch with your 11 month old too.

Answer 8

accept him as he is. that would set a good example for your kids. It will teach them to be loving and tolerant.

Answer 9

was he in a war.... cuz that would be the only reason why a grown man should be afraid of thunder... if not tell him to go and find his balls  

Answer 10

well whos fault is it that u married a sissy man?

Answer 11

i say smack the s*** out of him, what a wuss!

Answer 12

I dont like spiders but rain and thunder come on!!!!!!!!!

just force him to stay outside during a storm that way he will have to face it!!!

Answer 13

I would first start complementing him when he isn't as scared. Even just for everyday things such as "You look very masculine in that shirt" or "I really appreciate you feeding the baby tonight. She loves it when you do it". Boost his ego and his confidence. Also I would research with him. I think that we are often afraid of things when we don't know about them. Look up the science of thunder storms etc.

And most importantly don't play into his fear. If he is freaking out be supportive and kind but don't let him get into a panicky state. I know all my phobias are actually just built up in my head.

Good luck :)

Answer 14

he should see someone to help him get through this.