My husband has friends that are women?

Question

My husband stays in touch with an ex-girlfriend for 20 years and kept it from me most of the time. He wants me to be nice to her says they are only friends (went over to her house without me knowing it and spent a few nights over there - after the fact - he told me) Was I pissed off of courde I was. Also has a few female friends. One is a cougar that is a barmaid and said he became friends with her - without my knowledge- and hung out with her because she was fun when she was drunk. I told him i don''t want him talking to them anymore on his cell phone anymore or pretty much or eles, he said he wouldn't but he still does ( i know that for a fact) What do I do from here and to have him stop talking to them

Answer 1

He sounds like a player.

Either find some "friends" of your own or leave him.

I would leave if the scenario was happening to me.

I'm sure you are capable of finding a man who is worthy of your trust.

Don't waste your time being angry. Get over it and decide a course of action.

But, before you do, get an all over makeover. Be a fabulous as possible.

Be cool and calm. When you do leave, leave peacefully/quietly.

My mother says that you should always use care while you are taking your hand out of the lion's mouth.

Answer 2

Men are strange,

I think that when you get married your prioritys SHOULD change, which in many cases I've found DON'T which then leads to the divorce,

I know I want to be put on that pedestal. When we are out in public, and he's noticing all the beautiful people, I'm fine with that, But when he gets the eye contact on purpose, That's when I walk up to the girl and say, my husband over there would like to have your phone number.

Yes I've been cheated on by him. It was with a girl he was friends with for over 15 years, Good luck to you.

Answer 3

My husband kept something similar to this from me for like a month. I caught his butt though. He thought he was going to get away with it. I found the girl's number in his drawer next to his bed. I called it and told her to stop talking to my husband, then I gave him a piece of my mind that night. Lol! Now I keep an eye on his every move.! You should do the same!

Answer 4

Get a new husband

Answer 5

I can understand why it pisses you off.  I would feel the same way.  However, if my husband had stayed over at another womans house "a few nights" the **** would have hit the fan.  He would have to cut all ties since he lied to me or it would have to end for us.  I can not and will not be with someone I cant trust.

Answer 6

What a jerk!  Serve him w/ divorce papers! He doesnt respect you for some reason.  Are you taking care of him sexually?  sometimes men wander when their wives stop giving it to them....but yeah a husband shouldnt be doing that, you shouldnt have to try to get him to stop he should know better.  Find a man that wil take care of you!

Answer 7

You know that they are not 'friends' if they are not friends with you too. I would tell him either they go or I go! I'm sure he would hate it if you had some "friends " of your own!

Answer 8

wow thats not acceptable at all.. stay the night at a guy friends house and tell him u did and i bet he will be so mad then you can tell him that he did it so can  you

Answer 9

My husband is friends with his ex girlfriends.  I am even friends with them.  I would draw the line of sleeping over at their house though.

Linda

Answer 10

Kick him out. If you think for one minute that he is not sleeping with someone else, boy are you mistaken. he has the best of two worlds.

Answer 11

he's being a dog. he should be able to have female friends, but in my opinion husbands should share this friendship with their wives; there shouldn't be a need for exclusion or secrecy. my husband wouldn't agree with me though. he's pushed the boundaries with me on this and i've told him i will leave him if he continues. of course your and i saying these things are giving them ultimatums and sending their behavior into hiding. however, if i find out my husband has lied to me, i will leave him. i love him with all my heart, but it will only work if he loves and respects me back... same goes for you.

Answer 12

wow. Your husband is totally crossing boundaries with you. If he isn't telling you about these things and he even spent the night over his ex's house!!! wow that is just crazy. I would hire a private investigator and see if he is cheating on you. Seriously. He is a little too friendly with these woman. I'm sorry when you are married you just don't hang out with the opposite s*x as much as you use to and he is crossing that. You have to step up and do something. Good luck

Answer 13

I would suggest to pack your bags and find somewhere else to live OR pack his bags and leave them on the lawn. Why would you want to be with someone that is obviously cheating on you? He needs to shape up or ship out!

Answer 14

Don't be so insecure. Men and women can be friends.

Answer 15

I would leave him quick once a dog, always a dog.

Answer 16

The only thing about this whole situation that bothers me is the fact that he has been lying and keeping most of this from you.  If he were upfront and honest about everything then I'd think you were overreacting, but since he hasn't been then I think you have every right to be upset.  Personally I would be very hurt if my husband was spending the night with other women without my knowledge, as well as hanging out with "drunk women."  Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to keep him from talking to these women.  You can only tell him how much it hurts you and he should respect your feelings enough to cut it out.  If he doesn't then I guess you know how he feels about you.  Good luck hun.

Answer 17

He's not going to stop talking to them.  What are you going to do about it?  If you do nothing, you are allowing this.  The only thing you can do is take action.  If he wants to remain married to you, he needs to PROVE to you that he is faithful.  Personally, I would not have time for his games.  If he wants to hang out with other women and stay at their house overnight, the relationship was over a long time ago, he just "forgot" to let you know.  He is a coward, a cheat, and a liar.  Why would you want to stay?

Answer 18

he's doing them, girl!  you're not being insecure.  listen to your gut; if it's telling you he's f****** around, he more than likely is doing so.  confront his a**!

Answer 19

You can't do anything to stop this behavior. These are his choices. What you can do is decide what you will tolerate.

If he wants to cheat, he will. It doesn't matter what rules or complaints you make.

If you have children with this person, your tolerance probably will increase. If this is the case, examine your relationship to see what else might be going wrong. Leaving a man for cheating is usually NOT the case when there are children involved. Leaving a man because he is a poor influence on the kids is a more likely reason to leave him.

My hope is that you two will renew your vows and commit to each other again. When this happens, you won't need to even question his actions. Best wishes.

Answer 20

u should be pissed he's cheating!!! he wont admit that much but he is! let him know that this makes u VERY uncomfortable and u put ur male friends on the back burner for him and u would appreciate the same respect from him(to put his female friends back in the trash)! he should not have stayed anywhere other than ur house. remind him if he brings anything home(stds) that u will castrate him. good luck i know how sucky of a position ur in.

Answer 21

I don't feel comfortable with my husband talking to ANY other women, but especially not at ex.  He spent some nights over there? No way would I stand for that! You know how some women can be! And men will always be men! I would tell him this is a serious issue for you and he needs to pick them or you.

It's not that I'm not comfortable with myself,  I know I'm beautiful, but my husband is very s**y and some girls will go after any man they want regardless of if hes single or married or whatever.  Also thats why Im a firm believer that married men should hang out with other married men and married women should hang out with other married woman, bc whenever i did go out with my single friends all they wanted to do was look for guys and im sure the same and worse when my husband goes out with his single friends.  Especially if there is alcohol involved, bc anything seems "ok" when you're drunk so..Im sorry to say but i think something may have happened. I mean why does he need to spend the night with the ex if nothing was going on?

Answer 22

first... get a grip. talking isnt cheating.

second... your jealousy and insecurity is clouding the issue.

third... do you have self esteem and self confidence issues or have you always been so jealous and insecure?

try talking to your husband. communication is the key to any successful relationship.

Answer 23

I do not know if this will help but:

I have a personal rule that works for me. The rule is:

" If my wife can not be there for the activity or conversation. Then it will not happen."

Answer 24

Find some good guy friends with a quickness.  You obviously need some other form of entertainment.

Answer 25

first off, i have a lot of guy friends from before even meeting my now-husband.  i told him about all of them and asked him to respect our friendship because these people have helped me through my life in different instances and yes, one or two were ex's.

HOWEVER, i'm not sure what your husband is doing.  i think that your ultimatum might just make him hide more things from you. if i can suggest the following:

sit him down and tell him specifically what you want to know. for example, ask that he introduce you to all these friends. this alone should show you if the relationships are innocent. next, tell him that you want to know about parties and sleep-overs before they happen and not after. lastly, asky why he feels he needs these kinds of relationships. that way you'll know if you can provide what he seeks.

i hope these help as good starting points of discussion.

Answer 26

You have bigger problems then your husband just talking to women.  He's hanging out with them behind your back & lying about it. What else is he hiding?

Answer 27

i think you are being a little possessive and jealous.  he is married to you, obviously he wants to be.